For real this time
For real this time
Hi all,
Its been ~5 months since I've been here... and I'm sad to say that for the last ~4 months I have lost the way (after 3 months sober). Started out slow, escalated fast. This past weekend I suffered blackout-concussion unlike any alcohol-related injury previously experienced. This frightens me and I have had enough. Its just not worth it anymore.
Really though, its not been worth it and I've had enough since... ~4 months ago.
Its been ~5 months since I've been here... and I'm sad to say that for the last ~4 months I have lost the way (after 3 months sober). Started out slow, escalated fast. This past weekend I suffered blackout-concussion unlike any alcohol-related injury previously experienced. This frightens me and I have had enough. Its just not worth it anymore.
Really though, its not been worth it and I've had enough since... ~4 months ago.
We got this!
I am struggling with continued relapses, I understand where you are coming from. It is so frustrating and frightening. It is time for both of us to pull it together and get back at it.
You can do this, remember "nothing to it, but to do it!" (a lot easier said than done!! but let's try!)
You can do this, remember "nothing to it, but to do it!" (a lot easier said than done!! but let's try!)
Congrats on returning to sobriety. Quite frankly, it used to annoy me when folks would ask, "What are you going to do differently? But it is the question that must be asked.
I kept doing what I had been doing, of course getting the same results. Best of luck to you, and lean on us.
I kept doing what I had been doing, of course getting the same results. Best of luck to you, and lean on us.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 4
After going through a rehab program about 3 years ago... I slowing began drinking again. It would be when we go out to eat... and then, buy some beer for a day at home. It may not have been often, but when I drank, I would have too much.
Now I am realizing, the time I lose, the shame I battle, the time it takes me to 'live down' an embarrassment... is a death I don't deserve. When I drink, someone is getting rich while I am dying. I am paying an assassin. This is insanity.
SO now---I am seeking out empathy and encouragement from all of you. I've been judged enough and that surely doesn't help. On top of that, I am DID. But hey---why not be interesting?---right?
God bless you as we all heal together.
Now I am realizing, the time I lose, the shame I battle, the time it takes me to 'live down' an embarrassment... is a death I don't deserve. When I drink, someone is getting rich while I am dying. I am paying an assassin. This is insanity.
SO now---I am seeking out empathy and encouragement from all of you. I've been judged enough and that surely doesn't help. On top of that, I am DID. But hey---why not be interesting?---right?
God bless you as we all heal together.
Congrats on returning to sobriety. Quite frankly, it used to annoy me when folks would ask, "What are you going to do differently? But it is the question that must be asked.
I kept doing what I had been doing, of course getting the same results. Best of luck to you, and lean on us.
I kept doing what I had been doing, of course getting the same results. Best of luck to you, and lean on us.
What I had done before worked quite well... while it worked. I had a game plan and adjusted the plan when it needed improving etc. But there was one glaring flaw. First part of the flaw: I started out setting goals to make it through the next day, the next weekend. Then after 2 months I hit a point where I stopped setting small goals, like a contentedness. Second part of the flaw: Towards the end of April/mid May I had a number of important events that centred around one of the reasons I sought sobriety in the first place. Slowly, a sliver of a thought began forming. 'Maybe this is a sort of goal- make it through these events.' Well the rest of the story is pretty simple. I made it through those events just fine and found myself with a congratulatory drink in my hand.
So to answer the question what I'm going to do differently:
For both of these, I'd say that a general strategy would be talking about this with more people and plan more events to look forward to. Last go around I did it on my own (with the exception of all of you ). For the second item, more journalling and thought-awareness in times of stress (like important events...)
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