August 25th UK bank holiday. The sober bus has arrived at my stop
 

Hi everyone. Day one for me. I am having no more of this nonsense. I cried when I looked in the mirror and saw a fat bedraggled blotchy stranger looking back. Superman is not going to fly through the window and rescue me from this grave I am digging for myself. Every drink is another clod of earth being dug out of the ground and the end will most likely be nasty. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade. All are being rolled into NOW. I never really understood the concept that today is all we have in spite of my username. This beast is going under the bed to fester and die, along with all the other monsters. I want my life back.:a043::a043:

I have been there! Recovery IS possible! Wishing you a peaceful, sober day.

Recovery is possible. Baby yourself today. I'd opt for a visual of putting the monsters out with the trash instead of under the bed. Fresh air and sunlight to banish the demons.

I much prefere to be sober than see my self loathing on my face.

Be strong

You can do this!! SR is in your corner!! :grouphug:

Awesome post! Really!

You GOT this!

Great post! Stay at it. We're all here with you!

Keep going on the bus ! I'm sitting right behind you ! :-)

Thanks, maybe we will be driving it one day but at the moment I am happy to have a seat. Sweating like crazy but no other symptoms and hands are steady. Hope you are travelling well.

I truly hate bank holidays in the UK.
Where I live it chucked it down.
I think sometimes they are just an excuse to drink in the pub.

I've felt those feelings you felt today.
There are photo's I cannot bear to look at now because my face looks so bloated from booze.

Give it a few days and your skin will be clearer, you will be less bloated and the sweats will get much less.

I was in the routine of staying at home and drinking and not doing much else.
With the help of SR, it is over 2 years since I had an alcoholic drink.

My life is not perfect. I certainly don't look perfect, but I am so far moved on from where I was.

I'm happy you have joined us and I wish you the best xx

Thanks Sasha4. I was in rehab last year for 3 months. In fact I had my 50th birthday in there and everyone was so kind to me with cards and little pressies as all of us where on benefits while in treatment. I feel so ashamed now but also very grateful that I had over 3 months sober and now know how it felt. I thought controlled drinking was the answer. Paying for it big time now and watching the days on the calender slip away is akin to watching a bit of my life and future being poured away with every drink. Thanks for your support

You can do this!

You had 3 months and you can have it again and more.

Its nice that you appreciated the little gifts and thoughts you got in rehab.

I have found that its often the little things that mean the most to me now drinking is not part of my life.
I probably missed them before because I was drunk or hungover.

Its the times my daughter asks to sit on my knee for a cuddle.
The cute pictures she draws of me and her.
The enjoyment she gets from us both going out and doing stuff - like soft play, the cinema, swimming - that I would struggle to do before.

I think for me, its the satisfaction from having a full on productive day, just enjoying a sense of well being and the strength I seemed to have gained to not turn to a drink when something goes wrong, or I have had a bad day or I feel like blotting out the world.
I seem to smile more and be more lighthearted about stuff too. I thinks that is just a nicer way to be about life.
That strength is priceless.

All I can say is that for me, SR is like my secret home with a family who understand me.

I come here multiple times a day.
I feel homesick if I don't drop by everyday.

If you are an Alcoholic,controlled drinking always fails spectacularly.

Many people are out there doing the research on that one,have yet to meet anyone who has been successful.

Hope it will be day2 for you today.

Wishing you well.