twr123

Hello all. I decided it was time I bit the bullet and admitted that I have a drinking problem. I've known this for a while but have tried to convince myself that I could control it without giving up drinking altogether. I guess I reached a really low point this week and have finally made the realization that things have to change. The difficult part for me is that I don't have anything to replace drinking with. I find it incredibly difficult to make friends due to being far more intelligent than the majority of the people I encounter in my daily life, and even when I do meet people I get along with, my severe emotional problems usually prevent me from getting close to them. Alcohol, junk food and porn have been the things that have given my life meaning. But I hate what they are doing to me. In me somewhere is a kind, caring, sweet-natured and conscientious person desperate to get out, but instead what most people see is an irritable, selfish sociopath who lives his life in permanent pain-numbing mode. I am what the author Garrett LoPorto terms a "Da Vinci type". We have the potential for brilliance but so many of us never realize it and instead crash and burn by devoting ourselves to addictions. At age 30, despite all my potential I've achieved nothing and my life is going nowhere. My life is all about addiction. This has to stop NOW.

Tang

Welcome twr123. There are many here who have similar issues. We're here to listen.

IOAA2

Hi and welcome.
Your not alone nor do you have to be. You have a choice say to go to AA and see for lets say 30 days to see how it works. It’s great to be among people who understand us.
There we learn simple things that used to baffle us like how to not drink today. Many have excuses as to not going and that’s a choice to be made, usually based on fear and ignorance.
A big problem many of us face is we complicate things instead of keeping things (us) simple and easy does it.

BE WELL

doggonecarl

Wecome to Sober Recovery.

Drinking isn't a hobby you are trying to find a replacement for. Drinking, as you noted, is an addiction. Replace it with recovery. Sounds like you have a lot of areas to address...addiction, emotional problems, anger, social interaction issues.

Sounds to me you will be plenty busy when you quit drinking.

Tonymblue

You can achieve sobriety. Thats an amazing thing. Go forward.

trachemys

GotGrace

Welcome twr123! I am glad you are here.

KateL

Welcome

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum twr123!!

Altoids

Welcome. There's a lot of great advice and wisdom on these threads. There's even a lot of fun. Stick around.

firstymer

Doggonecarl is right. In sobriety, I have not found myself concerned about finding a replacement for alcohol. Just the opposite has been true. I realize now that there were so many things that alcohol was HOLDING ME BACK FROM. Relationships. Productive work. The list is long. I was spending so much of my life in a drunken fog - or hungover - that I was really only "living" a few hours per week. My life sober has been like a smorgasbord. There are so many things to choose from. The menu is much, much more limited when you are drunk.

You said it best yourself: "We have the potential for brilliance but so many of us never realize it and instead crash and burn by devoting ourselves to addictions."

So, find a program. Get sober. And experience some brilliance.

Welcome to SR.

Meraviglioso

This really hit me. I feel the same way and have had the fortune of experiencing periods of sobriety where that person was able to come out. If you want to attract like-minded individuals of your level of intelligence you need to start acting like the person or people you wish to surround yourself with. This is not a lecture or a command because I am right there with you pal, but continuing to drink when you are well aware you have a problem is not an intelligent move. Quit the booze and see what happens. I am certain that things will start to improve. It won't be overnight, and you have a lot of work to do to figure out who you are without the alcohol, but it will happen.
Best of luck to you, you can do this.

twr123

Thanks everyone!

twr123

So, this is what I'm talking about. I don't have any of these things, and not really because alcohol is keeping me from them. After reading some of the stories on here I see that I'm very much at the mild end of things. The biggest thing keeping me from them is lack of opportunity, lack of social skills, emotional problems etc.

trachemys

You know the number one "lack of" that stops people? "Lack of" trying. "Lack of" application. "Lack of" working at it.

I just realized I did three number ones. Ignore me.

firstymer

twr123, when I was in college, I worked at the Student Union help desk. We claimed to be able to answer any question asked of us, from college events, to phone numbers, to trivia. And this was, gulp, pre-internet.

One Saturday night, a student called us up and asked, quite seriously, what was the secret to a happy life. So we took a poll at the student union and asked people for their opinion. We evaluated the answers and passed on to the student what we believed was the best response. Our answer?: "Do stuff."

Thirty years later, I still remember that night and I have relied on that philosophy more than you would think. It has served me pretty well, especially in sobriety. It ain't profound. But it is effective. The more "stuff" we do, the more we experience. And the more we experience, IMHO, the happier we are.

Try it. What do you have to lose?