Do you think a sponsor is essential to your sobriety?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 92
Do you think a sponsor is essential to your sobriety?
I am new to AA but so far so good! I am just curious though, is it really beneficial to have a sponsor? Do you think it is an essential part of maintaining sobriety?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
It wasn't essential for me, and it really wasn't all that beneficial. I do still maintain contact with her now. I text or call her if I have questions about the Steps. I prefer to work through things myself.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by snakes 
I am new to AA but so far so good! I am just curious though, is it really beneficial to have a sponsor? Do you think it is an essential part of maintaining sobriety?
IMO - a majority of those who attain long term abstinence from alcohol and go to AA use the experience , strength and hope of a sponsor.
You will get different responses not only about this , but others.
There is a forum under alcoholism - 12 steps from main menu. I would post this question their. Be prepared for some enthusiastic responses on both sides!!
It's your recovery - you will have to make that decision. We are all after the same thing here; QUALITY SOBRIETY!!
Keep coming back , it hurts then it works!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 314
Having someone to talk to, that you trust, about sobriety is essential for me. I don't have a sponsor because I'm not involved in AA, but I do have a few ppl who are in my corner and that's been huge. If I was in AA, I would definitely look for a sponsor I really liked and trusted.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Purpleknight
Whatever keeps you Sober is the key!! 
No disrespect intended PK but maybe that's important to state responding to a direct AA question.
Best Regards,
Flynbuy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Only been to a couple meetings. Have real problems trusting people and am typically a loner (have mild aspergers) so find it hard. That said it helped alot. I made it 6 months before relapsing and Will make it longer this time. I think a sponser would be benificial, but I struggle to deal with people so find it easier to face it alone. In the couple of months I had a sponser it was easier just because If I was to drink I felt I would be being disloyal to another, and the aa meetings made me feel included. But it is not essentual (I made i a year before... but I still relapsed so maybe Im wrong and a sponser is needed) . It is all up to you regardless of anyone else. Its nice to spendthe time where you are desperate for a drink distracted by somthing else though.
You can do it if you dont have a sponser but Its harder
You can do it if you dont have a sponser but Its harder
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by snakes
Do you think it is an essential part of maintaining sobriety?
but
my Sponsor of 9 years and I have a good relationship
if you can find the right one
a blessing that should not be overlooked
MM
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
The word sponsor doesn't appear in the first 164 pgs. of the Big Book. However, I've found that this, from the top of pg. 58, is true:
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."
I've also found that following the steps, thoroughly, is necessary. Step 5 says:
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
The other human being doesn't necessarily have to be your sponsor but he/she is an integral part of following the steps thoroughly. I also agree with Bob, the right sponsor is important. It should be someone you can relate to and who lives the steps. The steps define AA.
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."
I've also found that following the steps, thoroughly, is necessary. Step 5 says:
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
The other human being doesn't necessarily have to be your sponsor but he/she is an integral part of following the steps thoroughly. I also agree with Bob, the right sponsor is important. It should be someone you can relate to and who lives the steps. The steps define AA.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by snakes
I am new to AA but so far so good! I am just curious though, is it really beneficial to have a sponsor? Do you think it is an essential part of maintaining sobriety?
I say yes a good sponser is vital everyone keeps telling me a sponser takes you through the steps
My sponser saved my life and even if he wanted to leave he is to invaluable to lose
I hardly know him he hardly knows me
Yet we call one another brother
Yes a good sponser is vital imo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
I think having a sponsor is vitally important, this disease will lie to us in a heartbeat and having someone you trust whose been there and done that and can call us on our crap is essential, imo for recovery in AA.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
For me it was, she taught me the steps and then how to apply the steps to all of my issues that come up, like the day to day. I wouldn't have learned that in a book or from a website.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
getting sober and going through the steps it was essential for me to have a sponsor.
staying sober it is essential for me to have my sponsor and others in recovery. theres problems I run into my sponsor cant help me with so I turn others.
staying sober it is essential for me to have my sponsor and others in recovery. theres problems I run into my sponsor cant help me with so I turn others.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
I googled and found some stuff about "sponsor" in AA
Sponsor
Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers, particularly, describes how sponsors were found to be the effective way of taking people through the programme (E.g. p144-146) including reference to Bill as Bob's sponsor.
Living Sober p25 section entitled Availing Yourself of a Sponsor:
This explains that the reason that the word "sponsor" did not appear in the first section of the Big Book was that it was not part of AA jargon at that stage.
The principle, however, had been established right at the earliest days as Bill subsequently refers to Ebby as his sponsor and himself as Dr Bob's.
These meetings created the fellowship.
Big Book, p477:
"Get a sponsor and phone numbers, call friends in AA when bad thoughts come."
Living Sober, p27:
"A sponsor is simply a sober alcoholic who can help solve only one problem, how to stay sober. And the sponsor's only tool to use,
personal experience."
AA Comes of Age, p22:
"The Cleveland pioneers had proved three essential things: the value of personal sponsorship; the worth of the AA book in indoctrinating newcomers, and finally the tremendous fact that AA, when the word really got around, could now soundly grow to great size."
Language of the Heart, p204:
There is a long description here of how personal sponsorship was discovered as the effective way of getting the program.
Language of the Heart p 331:
"The facts point straight to our next responsibility: that of intelligently and lovingly sponsoring each man and woman who comes among us asking for help. This is the greatest expression of gratitude for what we ourselves have received."
Language of the Heart, p245:
"I was visited by Ebby. He was as an old friend, an alcoholic, and my sponsor-to-be."
Living Sober, p3:
"Some of us found that in our initial non-drinking days the suggestions and comradeship offered by a sponsor helped us greatly to stay sober. Others of us waited until we had visited many groups and met many AA's before we finally called on a sponsor's help." (i.e. We all found that we had to in the end.)
See also 12 X 12, p62, p22
Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers, particularly, describes how sponsors were found to be the effective way of taking people through the programme (E.g. p144-146) including reference to Bill as Bob's sponsor.
Living Sober p25 section entitled Availing Yourself of a Sponsor:
This explains that the reason that the word "sponsor" did not appear in the first section of the Big Book was that it was not part of AA jargon at that stage.
The principle, however, had been established right at the earliest days as Bill subsequently refers to Ebby as his sponsor and himself as Dr Bob's.
These meetings created the fellowship.
Big Book, p477:
"Get a sponsor and phone numbers, call friends in AA when bad thoughts come."
Living Sober, p27:
"A sponsor is simply a sober alcoholic who can help solve only one problem, how to stay sober. And the sponsor's only tool to use,
personal experience."
AA Comes of Age, p22:
"The Cleveland pioneers had proved three essential things: the value of personal sponsorship; the worth of the AA book in indoctrinating newcomers, and finally the tremendous fact that AA, when the word really got around, could now soundly grow to great size."
Language of the Heart, p204:
There is a long description here of how personal sponsorship was discovered as the effective way of getting the program.
Language of the Heart p 331:
"The facts point straight to our next responsibility: that of intelligently and lovingly sponsoring each man and woman who comes among us asking for help. This is the greatest expression of gratitude for what we ourselves have received."
Language of the Heart, p245:
"I was visited by Ebby. He was as an old friend, an alcoholic, and my sponsor-to-be."
Living Sober, p3:
"Some of us found that in our initial non-drinking days the suggestions and comradeship offered by a sponsor helped us greatly to stay sober. Others of us waited until we had visited many groups and met many AA's before we finally called on a sponsor's help." (i.e. We all found that we had to in the end.)
See also 12 X 12, p62, p22
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I have a sort of part time long distance sponsor. More of a mentor. A man and a friend I can call and talk to. Over 25 years of sobriety with whom I can be real and reach out to for help.
It has been a powerful tool in my sobriety.
It has been a powerful tool in my sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
When I entered rehab to begin my
recovery, I was asked to seek out
3 temporary sponsors before I left
my 28 treatment stay.
I was scared and didn't want to approach
strangers. Then I learned that seeking out
a temporary sponsor was an exercise in
learning how to ask for what you need.
I did ask several and eventually the one
that remained my sponsor was the one
who came to the treatment center to take
me to an outside AA meeting. It was her
service work that inspired me and I saw
thru her action in recovery was what I
wanted.
Today, in my heart and mind, she will
always be my number one sponsor and
have never replaced her even tho I haven't
talked to her in awhile. However, I know
she is where I can reach her If I should
ever need her help.
I used the fellowship within recovery
to learn from and pattern my recovery
life after. I went to a many big book
studies, step studies, speaker meetings,
all to help me learn how to work the
steps and incorporate them in my everyday
life.
Sponsors to me mean folks that lead
by actions, examples and share with
experiences, strength and hope to
guide me into building and living on
a strong recovery foundation built
on listening,learning, absorbing and
finally applying it in all areas of my life.
recovery, I was asked to seek out
3 temporary sponsors before I left
my 28 treatment stay.
I was scared and didn't want to approach
strangers. Then I learned that seeking out
a temporary sponsor was an exercise in
learning how to ask for what you need.
I did ask several and eventually the one
that remained my sponsor was the one
who came to the treatment center to take
me to an outside AA meeting. It was her
service work that inspired me and I saw
thru her action in recovery was what I
wanted.
Today, in my heart and mind, she will
always be my number one sponsor and
have never replaced her even tho I haven't
talked to her in awhile. However, I know
she is where I can reach her If I should
ever need her help.
I used the fellowship within recovery
to learn from and pattern my recovery
life after. I went to a many big book
studies, step studies, speaker meetings,
all to help me learn how to work the
steps and incorporate them in my everyday
life.
Sponsors to me mean folks that lead
by actions, examples and share with
experiences, strength and hope to
guide me into building and living on
a strong recovery foundation built
on listening,learning, absorbing and
finally applying it in all areas of my life.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 132
In the beginning I needed a sponsor to help me with the steps. First one didn't work out as we didn't communicate well.
Second one I worked very well with and we worked to get me through steps and had regular contact for about two years. Then he was so busy with other sponsees and I was well on my way.
Now at 7 years I don't have a sponsor and it's ok for me.
Second one I worked very well with and we worked to get me through steps and had regular contact for about two years. Then he was so busy with other sponsees and I was well on my way.
Now at 7 years I don't have a sponsor and it's ok for me.
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