Scared of next week
 

I'm currently on day 7 of my sobriety. I'm very concerned about next week. My elderly parents are going through a very difficult financial and emotional crisis and have reached out to me for help. I'm flying out to see them tomorrow morning and will stay with them for few days to help them sort things out. This crisis have been brewing for a while and it has been a big source of stress for me. But, now it has reached its peak.

The most troubling part is that my father is an alcoholic. He will be drinking and he will offer me drinks. I'm certain that if I refuse, he will leave it at that. But, still I'm very concerned. My father and I have a very broken relationship and it's stressing me out just thinking about next week. I'm worried that the stress will cause me to slip. Plus, I won't be able to attend Celebrate Recovery meeting tomorrow (my second) and won't be able to attend my first AA on Thursday as I had planned. I feel so good to have made it this far. But, I'm so afraid that it's going to fall apart next week. Just thinking about it is stressing me out.

:headbange
pakman

There are probably AA meetings
Real close to your parents house
A call to AA Central will set you up
MM

That sounds like a very difficult situation to be walking into after 7 or so days sober. I'm sorry that you are facing this. Is there any way to put the visit off for a couple of weeks until you feel stronger?

My suggestion would be to focus on the crisis at hand, and maybe not worry about repairing the relationship with your father at this time. It seems like that could be a trigger for you. Be firm with your father that you are not drinking and, if necessary, spend time in your room/space away from the chaos.

Hang in there Pakman, 7 days is a small foundation to kick on from, you are now a "non drinker", and everything that happens on your trip to see your parents can be dealt with without alcohol!!

You can do this, one day at a time, keep it simple, have a plan for each day and you''ll come through this!! :)

My father is very proud man and the fact that he's asking for my help is first time that's ever happened. From talking to my mother, he's been talking crazy stuff. I'm afraid of something terrible happening. I don't think putting it off is an option.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I need to note small victories. I'm in a connecting airport with 2 hour layover. No desire drink despite all the bars lining the concourse.

Trying to stay positive. Anxiety level is High!!!

And please check in here while you are at your parents', for support and inspiration! You can do it!

Hang in there my dad knows im not drinking and still he drinks although now I say don't if you want to see me

Hang in there your doing so great right now

Packman, check in here as often as you can. You can do this.

Your new life simply revolves around not drinking. 7 days is great! As others have said, if you could put it off a couple of weeks, I would... but that doesn't sound possible.

My dad drinks heavily too. When I told him I was quitting, he got right behind my decision. He didn't stop, but doesn't keep asking me to have one with him... Now he is proud of me.

You need to find strength from the 7 days you have now, the community here and your resolve to not drink. Stay strong, this is your choice.

You don't drink any more, simple as that.

You can do it, we are here for you.

Best of luck!

I agree with PurpleKnight. Great advice. xxx

dont put this off just stay positive and know you have a whole community of people hoping for the best for you. You got this and congrats on your week of sobriety i'm on day 9 and this is the feeling I would love and need to keep, we got this. Stay positive!!

Made it! Day 8 was tough. I got to my parents house. The mood was as low as can be which is expected. They've lost everything they've worked for all their lives. The least I can do is to help them through the logistics. My father predictably offered me some scotch with dinner. I refused. He was find with it. He asked one more time during dinner. I refused again. That was that.

There were number of things that made it difficult to get through today.

1. People drink when they fly. Flight attendants asking for people wanting to buy drinks. They made the rounds before they serve the free stuff (soda, juice, etc.). I had 4 Sprite Zeros on the two flights to get here. I think this was first flight in 20 years I didn't get drunk on a plane. I usually order two vodkas and Bloody Mary mix at a time. And order as often as flight attendants come by.

2. People drink when they wait for the planes. Airport concourses are lined with bars. I must have passed by a dozen in the three airports I passed through today. Usually, I get a few drinks before the flight (and barely make the flight), a few more during the layover and sometimes at the destination airport. None today.

3. General stress of the situation. Stress of seeing my father whom I have a difficult relationship with. Stress of figuring out how to help them through this incredibly difficult times. Stress of anticipated drinking my father will do.

4. Actually saying 'no' to a drink being offered. There was already a glass sitting there for me when I sat down for dinner.

All in all, #3 was and is the most difficult to deal with. It will be very stressful few days. I hope I can make it through it. My mother was very glad to see me not drink. My wife was ecstatic when I texted her "Success."

I'm looking forward to day 9 tomorrow. I think I will make it through. Thank you all for your support. I needed it. I need it. And, I will need it. I must have read 3 hours worth of posts on SR today whenever I was allowed to turn my cell phone on.

Thanks!

Great job pakman92!! I know what you mean by parental stress and watching your folks lose everything they worked for....watched my folks lose it all too and it broke my heart. Drinking won't help you feel better....it will only make your stress worse. Hang in there and keep drinking soda, water, coffee, whatever it takes. You got this.

I would politely ask them to please offer you no drinks.

I just realize there is another temptation. both of my parents are asleep. I'm essentially alone in a house with all kinds of booze available, beer, wine, scotch and bourbon. Surprisingly, I have no desire drink a any of it. it's like 8 days ago some kind of switch flipped in my brain. I know it's still way too early in my recovery to draw any conclusions, but has this happened to any one else? A switch being flipped?

I'm concerned that this actually will cause me to let my guard down.

Pakman

I had the flipped switch effect, yes. I think its when I knew I was truly ready to give up drinking. I threw the switch and its been flipped that way ever since.

Hi pakman!
All that you did already is great.
First two weeks are really difficult.
In similar situations my motivation was that if I would drink only one beer I won't stop and then I will be useless in any kind of activity.
You can concentrate on things you have to do for your parents.
Each morning you can sketch a plan of the day and this plan should not leave any space for alcohol.
Only for example in similar conditions I planned for myself many trips by car even if I could go by train or by bus (we have 0% limitation) etc.

You gained a lot already.
Enjoy your sobriety and go ahead!

Wow, you are doing great! Stay strong! :c011:

I spent the whole day running around with getting my parents chapter 7 papers ready, meeting with their lawyer, going to social security office, etc. Pretty much none stop from 9 am to now. You'd think that having all those things to do would take my mind of alcohol. But, truthfully, today was the most difficult of the 9 days of sobriety so far.

It was the first time I had to 'ride the urge' (an expression I read somewhere in SR quite sometime back when I was just a lurker). It was what it was, the urge would sneak up on me, then I could kind of ride it out. It's scary tho. I didn't have to do that so far. Like I was saying in another post, i felt like a switch had flipped in my brain and I just didn't want to drink anymore.

I was wrong. The urge is back there somewhere lurking just waiting for a moment to get out. I can see that this is gonna be tougher than I thought. Maybe it's just the stress of dealing with my parents and their affairs. But, if stress is a trigger, that's gonna be a problem. Who doesn't have stress?

pakman (no longer pakman92)