Notices

Scared of next week

Old 08-27-2014, 07:35 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
pakman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 127
Day 10, what a day. I don't even know where to start.

I finally help them with bankruptcy paper and we got it filed with their lawyers. Immediately after, we decided to go to a car dealer to return one of their leased vehicles instead of waiting for the dealer to contact us to return it per bankruptcy. So far, so good. While I was cleaning out the car. I find a suicide note written by my dad. Presumable written a few days back. (I assume this because my mom had called me worried that my dad would hurt himself).

It read something like, 'My dear sister, please take good care of mother. My dear sons, please take good care of your mother. Please do not bury me, but cremate me and spread my ashes over water"

The surge of so many different emotions went through me. Worry, pity, empathy, anger and more. I had to hide these emotions as I was alone for only a minute or so. I put it back in the little center cubby in the car. My dad came out with a plastic bag to help clean the car. (it was full of butts) I let him take over. Later when I checked, the note was gone. I guess he threw it away with the butts.

In the end, I decided the best thing for me to do is to help him through the bankruptcy, business eviction and foreclosure as best I can. He and mom both want it behind them as quickly as possible which includes moving to another city.

I took them out to a nice Sushi restaurant for dinner to lift their spirits. My dad of course drank Sake, when the waitress asked how many glasses, I said, "one." No question from dad, I think he realizes that I'm not going to drink. (at least on this trip). I have not told him that I've quit. I think because I'm don't want to tell him only to slip later. (I think there is some issue there a therapist could drag out) Anyway, he drank two large bottle of sake during dinner. Towards the end of the dinner, I saw an ugly side of drunkenness as he was being kind of loud and talking non-sense about how to recover some money, when my mother jumped in, he was rude to her. He was not rational and was essentially talking about committing fraud. I wondered if I act that stupid and say stupid things when I get drunk.

Anyway, a crazy day. I'm now worried sick about their future. I guess one positive thing about today was that I actually bought someone a drink and did not drink myself and preserved my sobriety through 10 days.

I hope day 11 is easier in many ways.

pakman
pakman is offline  
Old 08-28-2014, 04:44 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 117
Good luck. Sounds like you're doing what you need to. If it's possible, try to get some exercise - go out for a run or a really brisk walk. Great way to destress and leave some of that turmoil behind you, at least for a while. I'm sorry that you have a strained relationship with your father. Is there any way you can just sit with him and tell him how you feel? Not in a hostile way, of course, but just let him know you love him and worry about him and will be there for him however you can. That also may alleviate some of your stress, by putting into words what you're feeling.
Celticgirl is offline  
Old 08-28-2014, 07:46 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
pakman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 127
Thanks Celticgirl. I think I will go for a walk this morning. It will also give me some alone time think things through.
pakman is offline  
Old 08-28-2014, 08:06 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
Sounds like you are doing great , good job. A fantastic thing about the last week or so , is all the sober muscle you built up , use it when the AV kicks in, stress been there , dinners with drinks available done that and I'm sure some other muscles too, you got this , you ca do it!
So there is something to think about when walking... umm green lights still on , get walkin
dwtbd is offline  
Old 08-28-2014, 08:07 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
ccam1973's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Stay strong Pakman. You are in a tough situation and handling it the best you possibly can.

Just remember to keep your guard up and keep urge-surfing when your AV starts chiming in.

Drinking will definitely make this situation worse.

Proud of you for staying strong and dealing with life sober.

Great job
ccam1973 is offline  
Old 08-28-2014, 09:27 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
pakman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 127
Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
A fantastic thing about the last week or so , is all the sober muscle you built up ,

Thanks. Yeah, I'm getting huge. I feel like Roger Clemens getting a dose of vitamins injected into my butt.

pakman
pakman is offline  
Old 08-28-2014, 09:32 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
Originally Posted by pakman View Post
Thanks. Yeah, I'm getting huge. I feel like Roger Clemens getting a dose of vitamins injected into my butt.

pakman
lol
yeah I always thought he was kind of d-bag, but then he became a Yankee, i know but we Yankee fans can be that way.

Andy kinda sold his dad out , but I don't think he did it on purpose, The Rocket saw the bus coming and grabbed his wife
dwtbd is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:36 PM.