nicolezeal

Hello all, I am currently out of state and unable to get to a meeting right now and I'm not doing so well. I've been in the program for 3 years going in and out. This past year I have stayed completely in until the past several months where I relapsed and got arrested for a DUI, then got into a car accident which drunk drivers hit me while I was sober, and then 3 weeks ago my brother, 23, passed away. I am out of state packing his place. He gave to everyone and I strive to be how awesome he was. I still can't believe he's gone and I know I have to keep my head on and deal with this. This pain is just so unbearable and I know most people I talk to can't relate. Although I know jail and death is all I have left and want to be happy and sober more then anything, all I can think about is that drink. I have 12 days again and it's been the hardest 12 days of my life. I am trying to understand how people get through such a pain that can't be comforted sober.

eaglesnwolves

I had a brother commit suicide at my 18 months of sobriety. I guess the way I deal with it is a day at a time. I had a choice to end my life, drink or stay sober. I chose sobriety I think he would have wanted me sober. At one point it was real bad and I came to a cross roads and decided to go to a meeting instead. I talked about what I was feeling with my support group it helped a whole lot. I think it is important to have a good support group to help you out at times like this. I went to a lot of meetings as well. Unfortunately when we get sober life still goes on but in AA we get the tools to deal with such loses. There is not a day that goes by I don't think of him but I know that the drink is not going to bring him back. It will be 14 years this Friday that he passed. I miss him more than ever. I guess if you get anything out of this go to a meeting get a support group and don't pick up. I am very sorry for your loss.

soberlicious

Please honor your brother's memory by not drinking at this tragedy. Doing so only hurts you and does not allow you to grieve. When the drink wears off the grief is still there, waiting to be properly gone through. Grief will not be ignored. You can quiet it temporarily, but it will rear its head until you acknowledge the sadness that is natural in response to a tragic loss. Alcohol will create more pain for you. I don't think he would want that, do you?

autumn2

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother.

I also have a son who is 23.

Hang in there. You went 12 days without drinking and that is something to be proud of.

Life is different it seems for young people than it was when I was in my 20's. So many youth get lost along the way (including my son.) It seems as if the world keeps getting harder and harder for each generation. Big hugs to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

PurpleKnight

I'm very sorry for your loss!!

FeelingGreat

Hi Nicole, I packed up my mother's place almost a years ago (she was moving to a home) and I know how emotional and isolating it can be, and you have the added burden of his passing. Recognise you are vulnerable and try to reach out for help if you can, even over the phone. You'll be so glad you got though this sober.

HeadLump

Welcome to SR, nicole. You have found a great place for wisdom, support and understanding

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your brother. My heart goes out to you. I lost my sister many years ago. She was 19.

I can imagine how strong the urge is to drink right now, to numb out the pain. But only time can heal this. When you finish drinking, the pain will still be there, perhaps even enhanced by shame and guilt. Be kind to yourself and your body and allow grief to take its course. And post on here as much and as often as you need to and let us hold your hand

Much love to you, nicole xxx

chicory

Welcome, Nicole. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you posted here. You will find much support and understanding.

Let yourself grieve, dear. Cry and cry some more. I believe its natures way of helping us through the worst pains, and clears our minds to then think of our loved one. It seems to have its own numbing effect, but a healthy one, from what I have personally experienced. Of course nothing can nor should, take away the pain of losing your brother, who was such a giving soul. he would want you safe, and happy.

May he Rest Sweetly.