I see no benefit to being sober now days (6 months)
 

I really do not see the benefit guys. I have gone 6 months without booze. I mean other than being a reliable worker I see no benefit. I used alcohol with everything. I used it to help me get with girls, to ease pain, etc. I feel so lonely lately. I got no friends... NO WOMAN, nothing im lonely. I do not see how my life has gotten any better. I just feel like I need a significant other to love me thats my problem nobody has ever loved me but booze.

Hi,

Congratulations on 6 months of sobriety!

I wonder what changes you've made in your life in the last six months, besides stopping drinking? Have you made new friends or started new activities? I know it can be lonely at times, but I think if you focus on loving yourself and feeling comfortable with yourself, then the right person will come along.

Well from your past post, I see one benefit: you did not get another DUI and you are not that guy anymore

The guy that first reached out saw a reason:

Great job on 6 months sober :) I know how hard it must have been to get where you are. I am two days shy of 7 months sober and I would concur with Anna.

Perhaps you are still focusing on the wrong desires? Being easygoing with girls and such... I fought this myself in the beginning, but soon I realized all those wise people with long-term sobriety are right about not getting into new relationships for a while and not even fantasizing about this. There is so much else to do for ourselves before we can be ready for a satisfying and mutually fulfilling relationship. Do you think you could be a truly good partner for someone with this desperation? Why don't you try to make new friends instead, without expectations and classifications? Perhaps eventually one of them might turn out a great romantic interest for you. The problem is that if you already start with a goal/expectation about relationships, you will inevitably project this onto the other person(s), and I think that blocks an authentic and relaxed connection with them.

Friends can love you very much also if you allow yourself to experience it with an open mind! I think we all need human connection, but perhaps better not to push something we are not ready for yet?

I think sometimes we can expect a wee bit too much from sobriety...especially EARLY sobriety. How can we do relationship when we can't even do everyday life? I certainly understand your loneliness and yearning for "other"..but that's just another illusion..another escape.

I think our greatest struggle is simply our acceptance of life... however pedestrian it can be. It's up to us to change ourselves and our perspectives...and when we can accept regular old life...well, then we can find delight in simpler things...not the high rollin ridiculous drama of alcohol. We used alcohol to change our mood..to make the mundane more palatable.

Life is life. We need to get used to it...and if it's boring, we need to "grow" it...not take some lazy shortcut of a bottle.

How do you feel in the morning when you wake up? For me, that's the best benefit...feeling alive and good. No hangovers. I am lonely too nate, but I was lonely when I was drinking, and I could do something about it if I put my mind to it. Life in general is better and is slowly getting better everyday...I have 6 months also and I know I need to be patient since this is still early sobriety. Don't give up before the miracle happens, nate.

Booze is a thing. It has no feelings. How can you say it is the only thing that has ever loved you. Come on, you are smarter than that...

I need a woman in my life. im serious. that would help. i have nobody to do things with, nobody to share feelings with, nobody to look forward to seeing. Work on yourself is all I hear well im tired of working on myself.

Are you working with any sort of recovery support...AA or other support group? Counselling? You need to "get at" the reasons you are escaping in the drink

Abstinence and recovery are two very different things. Recovery is about building a new life without alcohol. New friends, new activities, a new way of looking at yourself and the world. AA gave me a blueprint for rebuilding a shattered life and how to be happier than I believed possible

6 months is great – keep up the great work! There are also ways to meet people other than drinking – community service, co-ed sports leagues, etc.

I am not involved in anything. I work in the oil fields these are rural towns with little access to support groups. I NEED A WOMAN...that is what I need and I have been told that. I dont need AA.

I hope your find your woman, but until you do... what's your plan for finding some peace and contentment in sobriety? The issue here seems to be that you're jeopardizing your sobriety (and livelihood, health, sanity, etc) because of your beliefs that you need someone else in your life to make you happy. This is an issue separate from your drinking. And it's also a chance for your addictive voice to find something to drink over. Hope you see it for what it is.

I've got some news you probably don't want to hear Nate, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Alcohol won't help you find a woman, it will just help you get drunk and probably some more DUIs and other fun things of that sort. You may not want to work on yourself, but you really don't have a choice. You cannot build a stable relationship until you are stable yourself.

Then get busy finding a woman. Sounds desperate though. Good luck with that.

I am a woman and desperation is not at all attractive.

Why did you move to a town where there's (presumably) not that many women? Save your money, move back to a more balanced town.

Stay the course man. I met my girl at around a year sober, I'm a much better man sober. That's what's funny about sobriety, sometimes it feels like there's no benefit, it can even feel worse at six months, but sometimes it's not what you have but what you don't have. (Health problems, DUIs, etc..)

atleast when Im drunk I dont have to deal with my pain. im not desperate. I am a young 25 year old good looking man who makes a lot of money now. And true Alcohol has messed up everything in my life including 2 dui's that I received. do I care? yes I do care but sometimes I wanna just get obliterated and not feel this loneliness

I am a woman. It is better to meet someone when you are sober. If you start drinking you can get start getting sloppy and that is not attractive. I thinks being sober is attractive because it means that you can stay in control drive around and be aware of everything. Do not throw away the six months. These feelings shall pass.

I just dont understand how I had all these good looking girls when I was drunk and "sloppy" all the time and now I have none! its baffling to me. where is all the good girls. Im so angry right now its pissing me off.