Day 12, help! This is getting harder, not easier......
 

I know, I know. It's only day 12 and it's one day at a time. But this seriously isn't getting any easier, if anything it's getting harder. I'm trying to find things to keep me busy, but normally I would drink on Saturdays, and yes, it's Saturday. I feel like a 36 year old baby, that literally wants to cry because I can't drink tonight. I know it's not an option for me, my husband told me the terms of our relationship, that if I want a millionth chance to work on our marriage, there is to be no alcohol in the house. But that doesn't make it any easier. I don't want to give up, but I hate being mopey and miserable and sad all the time, because I "can't" drink, help :(

I'm right behind you on my attempt, and I know I have a long way to go, but we're the same. Two people trying our best to not drink today.

May I suggest a shift in thinking? Maybe for an hour try not to think of sobriety as a punishment but more as a new lease on life & your marriage. If you have to, try writing down the benefits of being sober. Maybe tomorrow try it for 2 hours & so on. I'm not saying to go all Pollyanna on us & to never feel cruddy, but perhaps when you slowly start to shift your focus away from all of the "I can'ts" you'll discover something new about the world you never would've seen drunk.

Take what you like...leave the rest.

Being only your 2nd weekend, you haven't had time to develop a new weekend routine, it's gonna be the same for your first Xmas, your first New Years etc, with a few under your belt things will get easier!!

For me simply removing alcohol and clinging on to abstinence was a tough experience, it created a lot of time with my thoughts, but I then realised Sobriety is not simply about removing alcohol, it is about developing a new Sober lifestyle, new activities, new routines, finding enjoyment in your weekends without alcohol!!

It's gonna take time to develop new habits, but it can be done!! :)

This is the time for change.

If weekend evenings used to mean drinking, change that to doing something else you'd enjoy. Go to a movie, go shopping, stay home and read a book, call a friend, go out for coffee with your husband, whatever sounds good to you. You can do this!

Sorry for the difficult times!

Reframing the situation may help. Try to consider yourself 'choosing' rather being 'forced' to be alcohol free. And therefore, 'choosing' to have improved heath, relationships, etc.

Also, you may want to try to visualize the ideal result of this process and/or craft a mission / goal statement. (i.e. "I am enjoying and embracing the many benefits of choosing to be alcohol free, including X, Y, and Z. I am committed to continuing to choose to be alcohol free so I can continue to reap these, and many other, rewards").

Long term goals can make it easier to ride out the short term challenges.

I remember having the same thoughts during my first recovery period, and at the time having my nightly drink was more important than sober time with my then-BF and my family. Is there anyone you can reach out to? You can always try a meeting. I'm sorry you're having a rough Saturday.

Bunnez

Just today, I have decided that everytime I feel sorry for myself for not being able to drink - I will do something to help someone else.... So, I made brownies to take to the 5:30 AA meeting. Sure feels like I am gonna be doing alot for others! But geeze, it feel so lame to feel sorry that I cannot ingest poison successfully. I have been blessed with a great job, relationship, sober father, loving supportive friends, etc.... As my father has told me - drinking NEVER helps anything..... So, I am going to see if taking action to help others will make me grateful enough to stop my pity party!

:)

Weekends are tough -- you are doing great!

First few weekends can be tough, you need to add new activities and change up routines. Also, if you view not drinking as a genuine sacrifice or giving up some great pleasure, it will continue to be difficult to stay sober. Part of staying sober is learning to stop romanticizing the drink. You also need to want to get sober for yourself, not for someone else. True change has to come from within. If you are looking at sobriety as being punished by your husband, that is going to make it harder. Look at it as freedom from a horrible, addictive drug that was ruining your life. Because that's what it would be.

Hi RedheadJen, isn't it so annoying that alcohol can control us this way. When we've been drinking for several years, as I was, it's so hard to let go, it's round every corner in every tv programme , in every magazine. I noticed all of that at first, now not so much though I am still aware it is there to catch me out if I let my defences down.

It will get easier and I know it doesn't help right now but just baby steps, one at a time. I wanted to leap into the future far away from alcohol and be cured, just like that. If I had dr. Who's Tardist, I might be able to but as a mere human I went one very small step in front of the other and somehow made it to over a year without booze.


It's possible and very much worth it. Keep with it and give it a chance, don't give up on yourself, you are worth much more.x

Well guys I didn't drink yesterday and now I'm on day 13!!! I am determined to make today better and like someone else said, thinking of a lot of things differently :)

I suggest some sort of recovery meeting. AA or something similar. Doing it alone is hard. I found that I also have to work on making other changes in order to be successful. Congrats on making it through the day!

Find a creative outlet of some sort, even if you don't believe your a creative person, we all have some inside of us that wants out. When I was in intensive outpatient I couldent draw when they made us do artwork, I took out some basic drawing books from the library and some decent paper and pencils, def making headway with it. Def find something!

Just a quick note......those were the toughest few days......don't know why.

I'm on day 33 or something......

Gronk