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I always crack!

Old 08-23-2014, 09:02 AM
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I always crack!

I always crack in the evening time, I start my day strong and then evening comes and I crave like a mad man for alcohol!!

I took some valerian root today to help calm me down but oddly enough 5 mins after taking it I went CRAZY for booze!

I cant just do this on willpower alone, the only reason im doing it is to keep good health, I don't LIKE being sober! I LIKE being drunk I love it infact!

Cravings are not easing, I cant do this much longer!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:05 AM
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I always found it difficult in the evenings too, because it was a habit, that's what I did every evening, we therefore need to break the habit and change things with new routines!!

What support do you have other than SR? If it's not enough it might be time to look into something additional!!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:06 AM
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Have you considered meetings or counseling?
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:10 AM
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I have a meeting set up with my Dr and an appoint with MIND , not sure when the appointment for mind is tho!

Other than that I don't do anything but white knuckle it!

In all honesty I don't want sobriety ( thought I did ) I just wanna drink with no bad consequences but obviously that's impossible!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:13 AM
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Hi Chilll... Hold on in there... It will pass!!! What are you drinking at the moment?? tea, coffee, soft drink??
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by jezza View Post
Hi Chilll... Hold on in there... It will pass!!! What are you drinking at the moment?? tea, coffee, soft drink??
water, had two cups off coffee today.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
In all honesty I don't want sobriety ( thought I did ) I just wanna drink with no bad consequences but obviously that's impossible!
I'd have continued to drink too if there had been no consequences, most of us wouldn't have registered that there might have been a problem with our drinking if there were no consequences to it, we'd have been oblivious and carried on without blinking an eyelid!!

Unfortunately as you know, that's not living in reality!!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:18 AM
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I find that coffee or caffeine can be a trigger fro cravings.. Well, I know it is for me.. Not saying that it's the same for everybody but might be worth trying no coffee tomorrow or get some decaf & see what happens... Keep posting Chill, you know there is always somebody here. Wishing you well!!!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
I'd have continued to drink too if there had been no consequences, most of us wouldn't have registered that there might have been a problem with our drinking if there were no consequences to it, we'd have been oblivious and carried on without blinking an eyelid!!

Unfortunately as you know, that's not living in reality!!
Its just that drinking makes me feel wonderful most times, takes the edge off, makes me feel like everything is manageable in my life! I know people say drinking never helps anything but that is not entirely true, it does at the time help, that's my experience anyways.

The downside is my health so I feel like im FORCED into sobriety, and sobriety I just detest! I don't like it one darn bit!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:26 AM
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Addiction is what makes us feel as if we need the alcohol for our lives to be manageable. Then, we are dependent on a substance. SR is here so you can bridge the gap... to let go of the substance and find your way in life without it. You can do it!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
I cant do this much longer!
Of course you can. You might choose not to, but you can.

Originally Posted by Chilledice
In all honesty I don't want sobriety ( thought I did ) I just wanna drink with no bad consequences
Not to be unkind, but...D'UH! We only quit because there were negative consequences. There will be more if you start again. It's the way that game goes, and you probably know it.

If you don't like the way your mind is obsessing about alcohol there is only one solution - starve it. Feeding your addiction won't quiet it down. It always made mine louder and more persistent. You gotta starve that beast.

Best of Luck! You can do this.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:27 AM
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I really feel for you. I am in the same mindset. Can you eat something really sweet like a surgary donut. Also make a list of what you can achieve without the alcohol onboard.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post

Other than that I don't do anything but white knuckle it!
Repeating over and over what doesn't work, why?
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:28 AM
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Hey Chilled, i feel your pain and it reminds me of a time gone by too, around 2 years ago i was having a bit of a hard time from my partner with regards to my drinking pattern, that i was drinking too much etc! she was 100% correct but the thing is i saw this at the time as me being given a "hard time" and the reason for that was simple- i was not ready to quit and truth be told i didn't want too, the point I'm trying to make is simply you have to need this more than want it.
I hope that makes sense.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:28 AM
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For a short term fix, have you tried sugar to beat those cravings? Ice cream seems to have magical healing powers for those of us in early recovery. And I didn't really even like ice cream before!

Also can't echo Purple enough w/the new routine route. For me it's been imperative in my recovery.

Long-term though you already know you'll have to come up w/something that works for you & your life if SR isn't enough. In the mean time SR is here for you 24/7 - keep on posting!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
Repeating over and over what doesn't work, why?
I am waiting for my dr appointment and an appointment with MIND, these take time!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
The downside is my health so I feel like im FORCED into sobriety, and sobriety I just detest! I don't like it one darn bit!
No one but you can make you stay sober. You have the choose it.

And it takes time. It's hardest at first. I know that is probably an obvious thing to point out... but you may not like it for a while. But you won't get to the point of being grateful and glad you stayed sober... if you don't push through the tough spot and actually stay sober.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post
No one but you can make you stay sober. You have the choose it.

And it takes time. It's hardest at first. I know that is probably an obvious thing to point out... but you may not like it for a while. But you won't get to the point of being grateful and glad you stayed sober... if you don't push through the tough spot and actually stay sober.
I know this sounds wimpish but i just find it too difficult,especially with the way my mind works with thoughts, trauma etc but bottom line of it all is I find it too jolly difficult!
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:42 AM
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Chilled, I know it's difficult at first. Lots of us know how hard it can be. Lots of us have trauma.

It's no walk in the park some days. But you can do this. You must want it.

And as for your health... there are so many unfortunate addicts whose health concerns weren't enough to keep them sober. My mother was one of them.

Addiction is one tough nut to crack for some of us, but it's not impossible.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
water, had two cups off coffee today.
Caffiene really messed with my anxiety after quitting, i drink decaf or low caf and it really seems to help
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