I always crack!
Chilled, I know it's difficult at first. Lots of us know how hard it can be. Lots of us have trauma.
It's no walk in the park some days. But you can do this. You must want it.
And as for your health... there are so many unfortunate addicts whose health concerns weren't enough to keep them sober. My mother was one of them.
Addiction is one tough nut to crack for some of us, but it's not impossible.
It's no walk in the park some days. But you can do this. You must want it.
And as for your health... there are so many unfortunate addicts whose health concerns weren't enough to keep them sober. My mother was one of them.
Addiction is one tough nut to crack for some of us, but it's not impossible.
I wish I was on a luxury island with no booze around for 6 months ............ and bikini women too
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I certainly appreciate your honesty Chill. I agree with you that alcohol does help for a day or two. It would be great to be able to kick back on the weekends drink and watch football games. Unfortunately for me, those good times end very quickly, and I'm back in that dark hole trying to dig myself out again.
I don't feel like I'm forced to do anything. I can choose to drink or not. Nobody is holding a gun to my head forcing me to do anything. I can choose to drink and deal with all the consequences that come with it and accept the fact that I will die sooner than I need to, or not.
Many people choose to drink until their six-feet under. People drink even after their doctor tells them if they continue to drink they will die, but they choose to continue to drink. Nobody forced them to drink no more than anybody or anything is forcing me to not drink.
For me, I'm tired of paying the price that my drinking has caused.
I don't feel like I'm forced to do anything. I can choose to drink or not. Nobody is holding a gun to my head forcing me to do anything. I can choose to drink and deal with all the consequences that come with it and accept the fact that I will die sooner than I need to, or not.
Many people choose to drink until their six-feet under. People drink even after their doctor tells them if they continue to drink they will die, but they choose to continue to drink. Nobody forced them to drink no more than anybody or anything is forcing me to not drink.
For me, I'm tired of paying the price that my drinking has caused.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Quick question; would you find it more difficult to deal with liver failure, or other health issues, or quitting drinking?
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
I personally think it must be harder to quit in the UK because of pub life. You pass them from the tube to your flat every day and there's no stigma. Plus, you said your mom has wine in the fridge. If my husband wasn't with me on this I don't know. I just couldn't avoid an open wine bottle in the fridge. Can't have it in the house period. Ever.
Also, I want to chime in about how you say it helps. See, I thought the exact same thing.
Well, if you take a break, like a month off alcohol and let your brain re-wire itself, you will discover that alcohol actually increases anxiety.
I am so calm now, sometimes I have a strong cup of coffee just to get some anxiety happening to get me actually worried about things - because I'm not.
I remember being in a constant state of panic and feeling overwhelmed by my life - which kept me drinking.
Alcohol has a way of making the neurotransmitters not work how they should. Because you are using alcohol to calm things down, to do things your neurotransmitters are supposed to do - the neurotransmitters quit working properly. It takes awhile after quitting to get them working how they were meant to work.
Because alcohol increases dopamine and you feel happy, you don't realize how it is, at the same time, negatively affecting the neurotransmitters and you will actually end up more depressed.
It's a vicious circle.
Once the neurotransmitters take over with your anxiety, you will find they are more efficient and a calm will enter.
Also, I want to chime in about how you say it helps. See, I thought the exact same thing.
Well, if you take a break, like a month off alcohol and let your brain re-wire itself, you will discover that alcohol actually increases anxiety.
I am so calm now, sometimes I have a strong cup of coffee just to get some anxiety happening to get me actually worried about things - because I'm not.
I remember being in a constant state of panic and feeling overwhelmed by my life - which kept me drinking.
Alcohol has a way of making the neurotransmitters not work how they should. Because you are using alcohol to calm things down, to do things your neurotransmitters are supposed to do - the neurotransmitters quit working properly. It takes awhile after quitting to get them working how they were meant to work.
Because alcohol increases dopamine and you feel happy, you don't realize how it is, at the same time, negatively affecting the neurotransmitters and you will actually end up more depressed.
It's a vicious circle.
Once the neurotransmitters take over with your anxiety, you will find they are more efficient and a calm will enter.
Im not sure! My mind is severely messed up so being sober is somewhat traumatic for me! I really don't know! I know I don't want liver failure that's for sure!
I like your tropical island paradise concept of rehab, though.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
In all honesty, you don't really know enough bout sobriety to detest it. You haven't been there anywhere near long enough to know how you feel bout it. What you are in ..is not sobriety ..it's emotional withdrawal. It's the separation from something you don't want to let go of. Even if you DO choose it, it's really freaking hard because we don't know how to freaking live sober lives!! It's like we have been transplanted into a new country where we don't really know anyone (well..those in recovery meetings do have the luxury of having some locals who know some of the geography).
I've had a helluva week here Chill. I chose sobriety. I chose to quit smoking and I chose to end it with my ex. All 3 of those decisions have been giving me grief all FREAKING week long. I have been desperate at one time or another for one that toxic trinity.
And well, I am smoking as I freaking type this.
The thing about sobriety is..it's a foreign freaking land and you have to stretch and extend yourself and try whatever to get on through.
Yesterday I was awaiting a massage appointment and I had like 40 minutes of time to kill. I went and sat in the solarium of my local Dairy Queen and had a smoothie and read for awhile. It ocurred to me that I had NEVER set foot inside that Dairy Queen..and this is my hometown. It was actually a really nice solarium with the sun streaming in..and I had it all to myself.
I dunno...I'm babbling here. But sobriety...soberville is new. You have to make it new. You have to try new things..go new places, talk to new people, seek out answers for anxiety. Yesterday I bought some wierd chinese herb to align my heart with my nervous system (????).
It's tough man...no doubt about it.
I didn't drink caffeine in the beginning either. It made resisting booze a lot harder because it made me so much more anxious. After I cut out caffeine, staying sober became more manageable. Now I have a cup first thing in the morning and I can handle it. Something to consider, chill.
I think anything is difficult when we don't choose it. And perhaps it's your perspective you have to wrangle with here. If your health is at issue here, what you indeed CHOOSING is that. You are choosing to live.
In all honesty, you don't really know enough bout sobriety to detest it. You haven't been there anywhere near long enough to know how you feel bout it. What you are in ..is not sobriety ..it's emotional withdrawal. It's the separation from something you don't want to let go of. Even if you DO choose it, it's really freaking hard because we don't know how to freaking live sober lives!! It's like we have been transplanted into a new country where we don't really know anyone (well..those in recovery meetings do have the luxury of having some locals who know some of the geography).
I've had a helluva week here Chill. I chose sobriety. I chose to quit smoking and I chose to end it with my ex. All 3 of those decisions have been giving me grief all FREAKING week long. I have been desperate at one time or another for one that toxic trinity.
And well, I am smoking as I freaking type this.
The thing about sobriety is..it's a foreign freaking land and you have to stretch and extend yourself and try whatever to get on through.
Yesterday I was awaiting a massage appointment and I had like 40 minutes of time to kill. I went and sat in the solarium of my local Dairy Queen and had a smoothie and read for awhile. It ocurred to me that I had NEVER set foot inside that Dairy Queen..and this is my hometown. It was actually a really nice solarium with the sun streaming in..and I had it all to myself.
I dunno...I'm babbling here. But sobriety...soberville is new. You have to make it new. You have to try new things..go new places, talk to new people, seek out answers for anxiety. Yesterday I bought some wierd chinese herb to align my heart with my nervous system (????).
It's tough man...no doubt about it.
In all honesty, you don't really know enough bout sobriety to detest it. You haven't been there anywhere near long enough to know how you feel bout it. What you are in ..is not sobriety ..it's emotional withdrawal. It's the separation from something you don't want to let go of. Even if you DO choose it, it's really freaking hard because we don't know how to freaking live sober lives!! It's like we have been transplanted into a new country where we don't really know anyone (well..those in recovery meetings do have the luxury of having some locals who know some of the geography).
I've had a helluva week here Chill. I chose sobriety. I chose to quit smoking and I chose to end it with my ex. All 3 of those decisions have been giving me grief all FREAKING week long. I have been desperate at one time or another for one that toxic trinity.
And well, I am smoking as I freaking type this.
The thing about sobriety is..it's a foreign freaking land and you have to stretch and extend yourself and try whatever to get on through.
Yesterday I was awaiting a massage appointment and I had like 40 minutes of time to kill. I went and sat in the solarium of my local Dairy Queen and had a smoothie and read for awhile. It ocurred to me that I had NEVER set foot inside that Dairy Queen..and this is my hometown. It was actually a really nice solarium with the sun streaming in..and I had it all to myself.
I dunno...I'm babbling here. But sobriety...soberville is new. You have to make it new. You have to try new things..go new places, talk to new people, seek out answers for anxiety. Yesterday I bought some wierd chinese herb to align my heart with my nervous system (????).
It's tough man...no doubt about it.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
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