Notices

I always crack!

Old 08-23-2014, 09:45 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Applekat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Have a cup of ice cream. Then go for a walk, without your wallet.

Have you also joined a class? August is doing really well and lots of posting. Stop in!!
Applekat is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 09:46 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Chilledice's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post
Chilled, I know it's difficult at first. Lots of us know how hard it can be. Lots of us have trauma.

It's no walk in the park some days. But you can do this. You must want it.

And as for your health... there are so many unfortunate addicts whose health concerns weren't enough to keep them sober. My mother was one of them.

Addiction is one tough nut to crack for some of us, but it's not impossible.
That's just it tho, im not sure I WANT it, in fact im pretty sure I don't!................. Ahhh maybe im just not thinking clearly right now, mind is ALL over the darn show!


I wish I was on a luxury island with no booze around for 6 months ............ and bikini women too
Chilledice is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 09:47 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I certainly appreciate your honesty Chill. I agree with you that alcohol does help for a day or two. It would be great to be able to kick back on the weekends drink and watch football games. Unfortunately for me, those good times end very quickly, and I'm back in that dark hole trying to dig myself out again.
I don't feel like I'm forced to do anything. I can choose to drink or not. Nobody is holding a gun to my head forcing me to do anything. I can choose to drink and deal with all the consequences that come with it and accept the fact that I will die sooner than I need to, or not.
Many people choose to drink until their six-feet under. People drink even after their doctor tells them if they continue to drink they will die, but they choose to continue to drink. Nobody forced them to drink no more than anybody or anything is forcing me to not drink.
For me, I'm tired of paying the price that my drinking has caused.
2muchpain is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 09:51 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
I know this sounds wimpish but i just find it too difficult,especially with the way my mind works with thoughts, trauma etc but bottom line of it all is I find it too jolly difficult!
Quick question; would you find it more difficult to deal with liver failure, or other health issues, or quitting drinking?
2muchpain is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 09:54 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
I personally think it must be harder to quit in the UK because of pub life. You pass them from the tube to your flat every day and there's no stigma. Plus, you said your mom has wine in the fridge. If my husband wasn't with me on this I don't know. I just couldn't avoid an open wine bottle in the fridge. Can't have it in the house period. Ever.

Also, I want to chime in about how you say it helps. See, I thought the exact same thing.

Well, if you take a break, like a month off alcohol and let your brain re-wire itself, you will discover that alcohol actually increases anxiety.

I am so calm now, sometimes I have a strong cup of coffee just to get some anxiety happening to get me actually worried about things - because I'm not.

I remember being in a constant state of panic and feeling overwhelmed by my life - which kept me drinking.

Alcohol has a way of making the neurotransmitters not work how they should. Because you are using alcohol to calm things down, to do things your neurotransmitters are supposed to do - the neurotransmitters quit working properly. It takes awhile after quitting to get them working how they were meant to work.

Because alcohol increases dopamine and you feel happy, you don't realize how it is, at the same time, negatively affecting the neurotransmitters and you will actually end up more depressed.

It's a vicious circle.

Once the neurotransmitters take over with your anxiety, you will find they are more efficient and a calm will enter.
soberjuly is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 09:56 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Chilledice's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
Originally Posted by 2muchpain View Post
Quick question; would you find it more difficult to deal with liver failure, or other health issues, or quitting drinking?
Im not sure! My mind is severely messed up so being sober is somewhat traumatic for me! I really don't know! I know I don't want liver failure that's for sure!
Chilledice is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 10:02 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Inchworm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
Everything you're saying, Chilled, is merely your Addictive Voice blabbing. You are smarter than the AV.
Inchworm is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 10:03 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Maybe, for now, you can do it for your liver. And a little later, once your head begins to clear... you might see you are glad you did.
Soberpotamus is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 10:25 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
That's just it tho, im not sure I WANT it, in fact im pretty sure I don't!
That's probably because you've never experienced the good part of sober living, just the bad parts full of anxiety and obsession that happen the first several weeks.

I like your tropical island paradise concept of rehab, though.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 01:41 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Applekat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
How are you doing, Chilled?
Applekat is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 03:33 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
The downside is my health so I feel like im FORCED into sobriety, and sobriety I just detest! I don't like it one darn bit!
I think anything is difficult when we don't choose it. And perhaps it's your perspective you have to wrangle with here. If your health is at issue here, what you indeed CHOOSING is that. You are choosing to live.

In all honesty, you don't really know enough bout sobriety to detest it. You haven't been there anywhere near long enough to know how you feel bout it. What you are in ..is not sobriety ..it's emotional withdrawal. It's the separation from something you don't want to let go of. Even if you DO choose it, it's really freaking hard because we don't know how to freaking live sober lives!! It's like we have been transplanted into a new country where we don't really know anyone (well..those in recovery meetings do have the luxury of having some locals who know some of the geography).

I've had a helluva week here Chill. I chose sobriety. I chose to quit smoking and I chose to end it with my ex. All 3 of those decisions have been giving me grief all FREAKING week long. I have been desperate at one time or another for one that toxic trinity.

And well, I am smoking as I freaking type this.
The thing about sobriety is..it's a foreign freaking land and you have to stretch and extend yourself and try whatever to get on through.

Yesterday I was awaiting a massage appointment and I had like 40 minutes of time to kill. I went and sat in the solarium of my local Dairy Queen and had a smoothie and read for awhile. It ocurred to me that I had NEVER set foot inside that Dairy Queen..and this is my hometown. It was actually a really nice solarium with the sun streaming in..and I had it all to myself.

I dunno...I'm babbling here. But sobriety...soberville is new. You have to make it new. You have to try new things..go new places, talk to new people, seek out answers for anxiety. Yesterday I bought some wierd chinese herb to align my heart with my nervous system (????).

It's tough man...no doubt about it.
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 07:24 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
happyandfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I didn't drink caffeine in the beginning either. It made resisting booze a lot harder because it made me so much more anxious. After I cut out caffeine, staying sober became more manageable. Now I have a cup first thing in the morning and I can handle it. Something to consider, chill.
happyandfree is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 10:21 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
Keeping it in the day's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sussex UK
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by Nuudawn View Post
I think anything is difficult when we don't choose it. And perhaps it's your perspective you have to wrangle with here. If your health is at issue here, what you indeed CHOOSING is that. You are choosing to live.

In all honesty, you don't really know enough bout sobriety to detest it. You haven't been there anywhere near long enough to know how you feel bout it. What you are in ..is not sobriety ..it's emotional withdrawal. It's the separation from something you don't want to let go of. Even if you DO choose it, it's really freaking hard because we don't know how to freaking live sober lives!! It's like we have been transplanted into a new country where we don't really know anyone (well..those in recovery meetings do have the luxury of having some locals who know some of the geography).

I've had a helluva week here Chill. I chose sobriety. I chose to quit smoking and I chose to end it with my ex. All 3 of those decisions have been giving me grief all FREAKING week long. I have been desperate at one time or another for one that toxic trinity.

And well, I am smoking as I freaking type this.
The thing about sobriety is..it's a foreign freaking land and you have to stretch and extend yourself and try whatever to get on through.

Yesterday I was awaiting a massage appointment and I had like 40 minutes of time to kill. I went and sat in the solarium of my local Dairy Queen and had a smoothie and read for awhile. It ocurred to me that I had NEVER set foot inside that Dairy Queen..and this is my hometown. It was actually a really nice solarium with the sun streaming in..and I had it all to myself.

I dunno...I'm babbling here. But sobriety...soberville is new. You have to make it new. You have to try new things..go new places, talk to new people, seek out answers for anxiety. Yesterday I bought some wierd chinese herb to align my heart with my nervous system (????).

It's tough man...no doubt about it.
Thankyou, this is a great post
Keeping it in the day is offline  
Old 08-23-2014, 10:36 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
I wish I was on a luxury island with no booze around for 6 months ............ and bikini women too
Problem with luxury islands, it's booze-a-plenty

but on this island people learned we are all connected

soberjuly is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:59 PM.