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Old 08-22-2014, 05:13 PM
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Wedding

Hi

Have been here for a few years but generally look. Have a few days sober time here and there but am generally an every day drinker and can cope with that. Have a job and a UK driving licence, did lose that for a bit but was 5 years ago and wasn't part of the plan. My marriage broke down but that was her fault and although to this day I am really gutted by it was a positive thing really.

This addiction can put a positive spin on anything, lost my wife, lost my right to drive but hey I pulled it back and have a BMW convertible now and a lovely house yet I use it to sit alone drinking, hoping I will make work tomorrow, usually do despite the hangover.

That's my problem but my issue is I have a wedding to go to. I can't stop drinking before the wedding so will turn up to the wedding looking like crap. I could quit the drink for a couple of weeks before the wedding, would be hard but could do it but know if I would make up for it on wedding day and likely turn into an idiot.

Active alcoholism is so hard and harder once you have it "controlled" I'm not sober and do not know how to do this wedding sober but am scared drunk I will be the hot topic of the day not the bride.

Guess I do not have a question for you but that's my share
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Old 08-22-2014, 05:21 PM
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When I got Sober I needed to change the activities I got involved in and the people I hung out with, and many social activities were off the table for the first few months!!

If alcohol is affecting your life then continuing to drink until after the wedding is crazy, and likewise if not drinking at this wedding can't be done, then going is also crazy!!

You can start a new Sober chapter of your life TODAY, there are no tomorrows, or next weeks, that's just our minds justifying drinking for a little while longer, start today and focus on rebuilding your life, and if that means not attending a wedding, it's not the end of the world!!

You can do this!!
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Old 08-22-2014, 05:28 PM
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Try to see if you can try to mix the drinks ie alcohol and something still alcohol but diluted

When your ready your ready

Thanks for that post read it again and again till something clicks it was powerful stuff

All the best
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Old 08-22-2014, 05:30 PM
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How about not going to the wedding and working on your recovery starting today?
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Old 08-22-2014, 06:08 PM
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Thanks All

Not attending the wedding is an option but I don't have children and this girl is as close to one as I have love her to bits.

I have been known to drink irresponsibly in the past hence my concern but know the answer is don't drink and go to the wedding.

Not sure what the plan is yet but I'm sure there will be one. Sober is great wish I could find that.

So scared of ruining the brides special day.
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Old 08-22-2014, 06:33 PM
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I can understand dreading how I will conduct myself at an important event because I couldn't even trust myself. It made me dread events that would cause most people to be excited. Like weddings and graduations: I could not look forward to them because I was too worried about what I would drink, how much I would drink, what I would do or say if I drank too much, how bad I would feel the next day, etc. Taking alcohol out of the equation has erased the problem.

You say you are worried that you might ruin the bride's day. Do you think she might be worried about the same thing? You say you love her like a daughter. Could being sober for the most important day of her life be your gift to her? You don't even have to tell her. But you would know.

How would you feel if you made it through that event without drinking? Pretty darned proud I would guess.

Why not start today?
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Old 08-24-2014, 04:04 AM
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GotGrace nailed it in my opinion. I made a huge fool of myself at my best friends wedding 20 years ago. I was a bridesmaid, got drunk, made a speech littered with F words and really upset her parents and Grandparents. I have been to subsequent weddings where other people have done similar things and it really, truly is horrible. So much emotion, planning and money is invested in a wedding and the gift of your good behaviour by virtue of your sobriety would be a wonderful gift to the happy couple.
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Old 08-24-2014, 04:16 AM
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Originally Posted by xym297 View Post
So scared of ruining the brides special day.
xym297 are you really scared of ruining the bride's special day? Do you really love this girl like your own child?

Weigh this up. If you are a respected admired adult in this young woman's life it is your responsibility not to spoil her day. There can be no prevaricating. If you are unable to go to this wedding sober and remain sober then I would suggest you do the honourable thing and not attend. You can send a gift, flowers and an affectionate congratulatory message and concentrate on getting help for your sobriety. What avenues have you explored?
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