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Trying to find a sponsor ?

Old 08-22-2014, 12:25 PM
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Trying to find a sponsor ?

I attend alanon meetings Mon, Weds, Thurs, Sun and ACA meetings on Tuesday . These meetings are run by different groups. I was advised that I need to find a home group. That I need to find a sponsor and work the steps. I live in fort Lauderdale and I am gay but feel uncomfortable in the gay meetings because to me it's show and tell and not about recovery there. I personally feel more comfortable in a mixed blend group because that is how the world I live in is. I live and breathe gay gay gay like some do. I suppose I've outgrown that phase in my life. It's find for others to grow through that phase on their own terms but I don't have to I feel I can evolve from that.
I go to several meetings because I don't like limiting myself to one point of view do finding a home group is not easy. I have been chairing the Monday and Wednesday groups but not Thursday Tuesday or sunday. Chairing is pretty easy in my opinion - the people really run their meeting , I'm just there to keep it organized like a figure head. To me it's easy. All meetings I chair do not mention sponsorship but Thursday group does. I am gay man and the Thursday meetings seem to be all women ( possibly a girls( lesbian)
club unofficially)... They won't let anyone chair a meeting unless they have a sponsor and are past their 6 step... Which doesn't bother me / but is soberhibg they added recently. Truthfully not a big deal I chair enough meetings. I am thinking of getting a sponsor at the thursday meeting.

I dont feel comfortable at an all girls club meeting setting but they are the only ones that speak about sponsorship.

I think that because I am a gay man I should get a woman sponsor but the rules are to get the same sex ???

What are your thoughts ?
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:42 PM
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Hi,

I'm not in AA or Alanon, but can't you talk about sponsorship at the other meetings?
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:48 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Anthon!!
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Old 08-23-2014, 06:11 AM
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Hi Anna , I'm not sure if I'm replying correctly but here I go. 😊.

I read your message and I like your reply. I could try incorporating sponsorship into the meetings I chair. I could at first just use sponsorship as a topic and then ask if anyone in the meeting for a show of hands how many are looking for sponsors and then ask how many would like to be sponsors . And then let them talk that out after meetings or they can use the available phone list.

Thanks


Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Hi,

I'm not in AA or Alanon, but can't you talk about sponsorship at the other meetings?
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Old 08-25-2014, 05:05 AM
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I think same sex sponsorship is a suggestion and not a rule. If you can find a female sponsor, go for it!
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Old 08-25-2014, 11:55 PM
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Youl know when the right person comes along
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Old 08-26-2014, 12:10 AM
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the women for women, men for men is not a rule, to my understanding, it is basically a guideline to try & prevent tear up's & jealousies in heterosexual marriage or relationships.

If your a gay man & you have a lesbian sponsor ... I can't see that causing too much, if any trouble. In fact, seems like an ideal match.

Ask your potential sponsor two questions

Have you had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the 12 steps ?

Can you explain how the fourth step inventory works ?

If they've done em, they'll be able to answer without sounding like they are fumbling an answer or making up something that isn't in the BB.
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