Learning to cope weekender thread Aug 22-24!!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Learning to cope weekender thread Aug 22-24!!
I was reading that good coping skills include:
1- Learning to reduce stress and relax.
2- Learn to treat yourself good and take care of yourself.
3- Let go of my negative thinking and replace it with a healthier approach.
I thought to myself well that sounds like a really great thing to do…. But then I thought more, as I normally do…. And I realized something really important.
I think I know more about the solution than I do the problem.
I was thinking I don't have a lot of stress. I am a laid back guy I must be relaxed. I lost ten pounds, so I take care of myself. I am successful professionally so how can I think negatively.
So I have been practicing this week. And low and behold!!!!
Stress for me is any worry and anxiety over drinking. Or shame about the past. Or loneliness for today. Or even sadness about being lonely. Hmmm I am stressed!
Yes, I eat good and exercise. But I don't seem to be nurturing the parts that need mending. Getting out and trying new things. Trying to meet new sober people is also trying to take care of myself. I need some work.
Negative self talk!!!! Bingo! My father called me a worthless piece of sheet everyday from age 5 until a full grown adult. Among other things. That can take a big toll.
So I listened to myself and holy cow I babble garbage in my ear many many times a day. So I have identified the single most important thing I need to cope with sober living. Negative self talk.
My drunk mind never talked smack about me. He was the smart, funny, fast joker.
Why such a serious weekender thread? It's not. Let's have fun. But maybe let's share about how to cope. What things cause your AV to stand up and how do you make him or her sit right back down.
Welcome to your sober weekender thread! Go Team!!!!!
*Ring Ring* Get on this sober bus people!!!!
A special thanks to PK for last weekends hosting and for providing support to us all!
Ken
1- Learning to reduce stress and relax.
2- Learn to treat yourself good and take care of yourself.
3- Let go of my negative thinking and replace it with a healthier approach.
I thought to myself well that sounds like a really great thing to do…. But then I thought more, as I normally do…. And I realized something really important.
I think I know more about the solution than I do the problem.
I was thinking I don't have a lot of stress. I am a laid back guy I must be relaxed. I lost ten pounds, so I take care of myself. I am successful professionally so how can I think negatively.
So I have been practicing this week. And low and behold!!!!
Stress for me is any worry and anxiety over drinking. Or shame about the past. Or loneliness for today. Or even sadness about being lonely. Hmmm I am stressed!
Yes, I eat good and exercise. But I don't seem to be nurturing the parts that need mending. Getting out and trying new things. Trying to meet new sober people is also trying to take care of myself. I need some work.
Negative self talk!!!! Bingo! My father called me a worthless piece of sheet everyday from age 5 until a full grown adult. Among other things. That can take a big toll.
So I listened to myself and holy cow I babble garbage in my ear many many times a day. So I have identified the single most important thing I need to cope with sober living. Negative self talk.
My drunk mind never talked smack about me. He was the smart, funny, fast joker.
Why such a serious weekender thread? It's not. Let's have fun. But maybe let's share about how to cope. What things cause your AV to stand up and how do you make him or her sit right back down.
Welcome to your sober weekender thread! Go Team!!!!!
*Ring Ring* Get on this sober bus people!!!!
A special thanks to PK for last weekends hosting and for providing support to us all!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
shotgun.
Boy, when I was drinking I was the Queen of Woe Is Me. I mean, there was a hamlet named Sadville and I had the keys to the gate. I owned the franchise on Victimhood.
But I t h o u g h t I acted like I was the most positive person ever. I complained about the complainers. Judged the judgmental. Looked down on everyone from the gutter. Yeah, that there's some sane thinking.
It amazes me how delusional I really was. It is sooo much better now.
Good topic!
Boy, when I was drinking I was the Queen of Woe Is Me. I mean, there was a hamlet named Sadville and I had the keys to the gate. I owned the franchise on Victimhood.
But I t h o u g h t I acted like I was the most positive person ever. I complained about the complainers. Judged the judgmental. Looked down on everyone from the gutter. Yeah, that there's some sane thinking.
It amazes me how delusional I really was. It is sooo much better now.
Good topic!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I was thinking about stress yesterday. I often have an edge to my voice, especially when talking to my children and I need to erase that but it's so hard to change tracks. It's stress over a lot of stuff that doesn't need to be there. I want to be the laughing smiling mommy and not the angry mommy. I think a lot of it is not wanting to let go. Control issues. And learning different ways to manage if they are not listening.
Anyway, good topic. I'm in. I've been off work since yesterday. Five days in a row. Birthday party for my son on Saturday so lots of cooking, cleaning and organizing to get done. Stress and anxiety anyone? But some fun. Yesterday we went swimming. Today we are leaving for the museum in about fifteen minutes. Then more cleaning.
I had a rough time last night with urges and I realized it was because I was watching the Dr. Who marathon lead in to the season/new doctor premier on Saturday. I used to drink wine while watching it and tended to pass out during. Many of the episodes I'm now watching I don't remember clearly so they are new to me again. But that association was powerful. It's time I start being more mindful of those things because they are a trap.
Will check back later, after the museum. The kids are ready and eager to go. Hop on board the sober bus everyone!
Anyway, good topic. I'm in. I've been off work since yesterday. Five days in a row. Birthday party for my son on Saturday so lots of cooking, cleaning and organizing to get done. Stress and anxiety anyone? But some fun. Yesterday we went swimming. Today we are leaving for the museum in about fifteen minutes. Then more cleaning.
I had a rough time last night with urges and I realized it was because I was watching the Dr. Who marathon lead in to the season/new doctor premier on Saturday. I used to drink wine while watching it and tended to pass out during. Many of the episodes I'm now watching I don't remember clearly so they are new to me again. But that association was powerful. It's time I start being more mindful of those things because they are a trap.
Will check back later, after the museum. The kids are ready and eager to go. Hop on board the sober bus everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
I am in!
I get very stressed when dealing with family (my mother in particular).
I am coping by trying to think of others more and focusing on myself a little less.
When I got Bell's Palsy last November I was VERY down and on a lot of medication. I made a vow that if I got back to normal, I would do something good for someone. This week I have started giving volunteer English lessons to a guy who doesn't have English as his first language. Our first class was yesterday, and I think it went well.
I have also started baking and bringing my concoctions to peoples houses when I visit...I think it's a nice thing to do...I made a toffee and apple cake for my Grandmother last weekend and she appreciated it, more than if I just went out and bought something at the shop.
I hope you all have a nice weekend. I LOVE reading about all your weekend stories xx
Good topic by the way!
I get very stressed when dealing with family (my mother in particular).
I am coping by trying to think of others more and focusing on myself a little less.
When I got Bell's Palsy last November I was VERY down and on a lot of medication. I made a vow that if I got back to normal, I would do something good for someone. This week I have started giving volunteer English lessons to a guy who doesn't have English as his first language. Our first class was yesterday, and I think it went well.
I have also started baking and bringing my concoctions to peoples houses when I visit...I think it's a nice thing to do...I made a toffee and apple cake for my Grandmother last weekend and she appreciated it, more than if I just went out and bought something at the shop.
I hope you all have a nice weekend. I LOVE reading about all your weekend stories xx
Good topic by the way!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Very in.
Friday off for a 3-day weekend. Lots I want to get done. Getting stuff done relaxes me. When I plan to get stuff done and then I don't get it done I usually get annoyed/stressed. 3 weekends in a row of houseguests or travel, so this weekend I feel like I have a big backlog of stuff to do. I am looking forward to getting it done and reducing my mental to-do list.
Weather looks iffy for the weekend. Hope it stays nice. There is yardwork to do!
Friday off for a 3-day weekend.
Lots I want to get done. Getting stuff done relaxes me. When I plan to get stuff done and then I don't get it done I usually get annoyed/stressed. 3 weekends in a row of houseguests or travel, so this weekend I feel like I have a big backlog of stuff to do. I am looking forward to getting it done and reducing my mental to-do list.Weather looks iffy for the weekend. Hope it stays nice. There is yardwork to do!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 444
So, pretty nervous about this weekend- all three days, places of stress/places to screw up.
I have a "Finer Things Club" tomorrow (Friday) to go to.
I have, of all things on week 2, a KID ROCK outdoor concert on Saturday.
And I have my fantasy football draft, at a bar, on Sunday.
I have a "Finer Things Club" tomorrow (Friday) to go to.
I have, of all things on week 2, a KID ROCK outdoor concert on Saturday.
And I have my fantasy football draft, at a bar, on Sunday.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Skype interviews are dangerous and stressful for your health. I am sorry to say that I don't have a good feeling about this. Oh well, at least I did it and didn't back out.
Just got a phone call from my dad an hour ago to say that they are bringing my brother in law to hospital at his GPs request. I am sitting here waiting for news. This is stressful. Will keep you posted xx
Just got a phone call from my dad an hour ago to say that they are bringing my brother in law to hospital at his GPs request. I am sitting here waiting for news. This is stressful. Will keep you posted xx
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Welcome back to the regulars and hello to the newcomers!
I am off today, work tomorrow, then off Saturday, and work Sunday. I don't know about Monday yet...
The stress I deal with now is pain, but I don't feel cravings. To be honest, a lot of the pain now is a pinched nerve causing my arm to ache and my fingers to go numb. And I got it at an AA meeting! My posture is not very good, and I spent six hours slouched in a folding metal chair at the district meeting last weekend. I drank a lot of coffee that day too, and that night BAM! But I made it through four days at work, and am going to relax today! I can't get in to the chiropractor until next Thursday--there is only one on the island where I live.
It's cloudy now, but we have had a fantastic spring and summer! The clouds will probably burn off by afternoon...
Hobbers, I am going to go look at your other thread and figure out why a Kid Rock concert is stressful.
See you later!
∞CF
I am off today, work tomorrow, then off Saturday, and work Sunday. I don't know about Monday yet...
The stress I deal with now is pain, but I don't feel cravings. To be honest, a lot of the pain now is a pinched nerve causing my arm to ache and my fingers to go numb. And I got it at an AA meeting! My posture is not very good, and I spent six hours slouched in a folding metal chair at the district meeting last weekend. I drank a lot of coffee that day too, and that night BAM! But I made it through four days at work, and am going to relax today! I can't get in to the chiropractor until next Thursday--there is only one on the island where I live.
It's cloudy now, but we have had a fantastic spring and summer! The clouds will probably burn off by afternoon...
Hobbers, I am going to go look at your other thread and figure out why a Kid Rock concert is stressful.
See you later!
∞CF
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Kid Rock, too funny. I have a Zen MP3 player. The little screen on it has burned out, so I can't choose what I listen to and have it set to "Play All/shuffle" so I have 8g of music and never know what I'll hear next. I had a Kid Rock song come up a couple days ago, and thought, wow where did that come from?
Kid Rock concert sounds fun. I hope you're driving!
Kid Rock concert sounds fun. I hope you're driving!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Weekenders!!
Nothing gets my drunk mind going into overdrive like a stressful day at work or the romanticised notion I can get about alcohol!!
Every day upon arriving home from work I go straight out for a long walk, ipod in for some tunes and off I go, plenty of fresh air and walk it all out, what I used to do instead was reach for the bottle and continue to dissolve into oblivion every evening, but not anymore!!
The other thing that can be the biggest myth pitched to me now and again is the idea of "a few cold beers on a Friday", "a nice glass of wine in the sunshine", "a wee brandy on a winters night", all this romanticised junk that not only does my mind spout, but I actually hear people I know say from time to time, which is all very well for normal drinkers, but I need to break down the myths and think of the reality, it was never a few beers or 1 glass, the truth was, and would be very different!!
This Weekend I'm working on Saturday and then off work for a few weeks, not much planned so far, need to buy a few wedding presents for people I know getting married in the coming weeks, that's always tough I find, and then some rest and relaxation may be on the cards!!
Let's do this!!
Nothing gets my drunk mind going into overdrive like a stressful day at work or the romanticised notion I can get about alcohol!!
Every day upon arriving home from work I go straight out for a long walk, ipod in for some tunes and off I go, plenty of fresh air and walk it all out, what I used to do instead was reach for the bottle and continue to dissolve into oblivion every evening, but not anymore!!
The other thing that can be the biggest myth pitched to me now and again is the idea of "a few cold beers on a Friday", "a nice glass of wine in the sunshine", "a wee brandy on a winters night", all this romanticised junk that not only does my mind spout, but I actually hear people I know say from time to time, which is all very well for normal drinkers, but I need to break down the myths and think of the reality, it was never a few beers or 1 glass, the truth was, and would be very different!!
This Weekend I'm working on Saturday and then off work for a few weeks, not much planned so far, need to buy a few wedding presents for people I know getting married in the coming weeks, that's always tough I find, and then some rest and relaxation may be on the cards!!
Let's do this!!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
yup - another sober weekend for me!
these just keep getting better and better! especially the not checking into jail part
I'm so happy I get to enjoy a few weekends of the summer before it passes...
Friday after work - gym! (YAY ME! back on a routine and plan!!! Cuba here I come in November!)
Saturday AM- gettin' up early to hit local farmers market with my mom then probably gym again for a bit. Then the BF and I are off to Toronto to the CNE (The ex) - basically a huge as$$ fair they have every year with rides/foods/vendors...so we'll spend the afternoon/night perusing that b/c it is monstrous
Sunday - relax! our legs will be tired from Saturday! LOL
I have a few recipes planned out for the week so Sundays I usually do some cooking to prep.
<3 my weekends sober more and more. SO MUCH better than drunk or feeling like **** b/c hungover.
these just keep getting better and better! especially the not checking into jail part
I'm so happy I get to enjoy a few weekends of the summer before it passes...
Friday after work - gym! (YAY ME! back on a routine and plan!!! Cuba here I come in November!)
Saturday AM- gettin' up early to hit local farmers market with my mom
then probably gym again for a bit. Then the BF and I are off to Toronto to the CNE (The ex) - basically a huge as$$ fair they have every year with rides/foods/vendors...so we'll spend the afternoon/night perusing that b/c it is monstrousSunday - relax! our legs will be tired from Saturday! LOL
I have a few recipes planned out for the week so Sundays I usually do some cooking to prep.
<3 my weekends sober more and more. SO MUCH better than drunk or feeling like **** b/c hungover.
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