Well it's been a month...
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Serper2014 
Basically I can moderate how often I drink, but not how much I drink.
I wanted to drink without suffering the consequences of my drinking. I was fairly successful with that for the last 10 years of my alcohol consumption...until I wasn't.
good luck.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Why do you believe that it is impossible to drink once a month after going through a period of daily drinking? Especially considering I have one month of data suggesting that it isn't going to be a problem. But one month isn't enough time for me to feel confident.
Your on a recovery website. Your intentionally seeking a safe drinking zone based on your subjective experiences skewed towards your desires to continue drinking. Your determined to apply reasoning to your subjective feelings on successfully drinking. Eventually, your experiences will overwhelm your ability to justify your desires, and in that same Aha! moment you'll hopefully realize you really didn't have the time to experiment.
I last quit at 24. I started at 12. I wanted to quit at 18, but I also wanted to drink too. Looking back, those six years between 18 and 24 were years lived in chronic alcoholism. I too believed I had time. And then all of a sudden I ran out of time. It came down to live with sobriety or die with drunkenness scenario. I'm 57 now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 78
If you've "lost that ability" to moderate, then your brain chemistry has not reset itself.
Also "getting toasty" a few times a month is also known as binge drinking.
I'm not attacking you dude, and I wish you the best. I think I remember from a previous post that you're around 25? I remember because I am the same age and I recognise myself in some of your posts, which causes me (and many SR members) concern.
I understand that your situation now is infinitely better than it was some time ago, but you are still drinking almost weekly and then posting about it on an alcoholic recovery site. The irony is palpable, Serper.
Also "getting toasty" a few times a month is also known as binge drinking.
I'm not attacking you dude, and I wish you the best. I think I remember from a previous post that you're around 25? I remember because I am the same age and I recognise myself in some of your posts, which causes me (and many SR members) concern.
I understand that your situation now is infinitely better than it was some time ago, but you are still drinking almost weekly and then posting about it on an alcoholic recovery site. The irony is palpable, Serper.
Last edited by RunnerBean; 08-21-2014 at 07:47 AM. Reason: iPhone typos!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Everyone has to decide for themselves if drinking is causing problems for them. At this stage... it's not for me.
I, along with just about everyone else here, has been at this very same "bargaining" stage.
I only drank on weekends for a while.
I tried only drinking 2 beers at each sitting.
I tried the official "moderation managment" program where there was a weekly maximum of drinks and a daily limit.
I tried alternating non-alcoholic beer with regular beer
I tried pretty much every possible thing I could try but eventually I ALWAYS ended up returning to heavy, daily drinking. Sometimes I took a few months so I thought I was doing OK, but inevitably I always ended up right back where I started.
You are young, intelligent and it's absolute your right to seek whatever end you may. You work in a competitive field and you seem to be a very driven person by nature, I would assume it's extremely difficult for you to accept that you cannot control something in your life - It was very hard for me as well. I can tell you without hesitation though that once I gave up the battle to control my drinking and simply accepted that I cannot do it, things got much easier all around. I hope you can find what works for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: HOUSTON
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by SoberHoopsFan
Why are you fighting so hard to keep an addictive and dangerous drug in your life? So you can spend a lifetime battling control over an addictive substance that has already once gotten you low enough to join a "sober recovery" website?
Quitting alcohol altogether is the only type of freedom from the drug. There is only one way to have complete control over drinking - to have none at all.
For me, I don't need it in my life and the physical and mental toll of trying to control this substance is a painful cross for anyone to bear, especially someone who has struggled before. I just don't see this ending well, to be blunt... if you want to truly be happy, you won't find it in a bottle.
Quitting alcohol altogether is the only type of freedom from the drug. There is only one way to have complete control over drinking - to have none at all.
For me, I don't need it in my life and the physical and mental toll of trying to control this substance is a painful cross for anyone to bear, especially someone who has struggled before. I just don't see this ending well, to be blunt... if you want to truly be happy, you won't find it in a bottle.
This last time the thought of how to control it and what to do with my home brew supply was particularly nagging. It got to the point where I was having racing thoughts and anxiety about what to do with the alcohol and how maybe if I limit it to X amount I'll be okay...
The question you have to ask yourself at some point is whether or not drinking "a few" here and there is worth all of that thought you are putting into it?
Is a drink or two worth stressing yourself out, trying to justify?
Is it worth the guilt? Worth fighting the want to drink more after you've started?
Wouldn't it be a lot easier to make a decision not to drink at all and quit having to think about it?
You may look at it as being free and having the freedom to drink if you want to, but it is just the opposite. Your psychical freedom to drink is holding your mind as a prisoner.
Your freedom to drink if you want to is forcing you to think about drinking when you could be thinking about much more constructive things.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
So you honestly don't see your loss of control WHEN you drink as a problem? I understand that you are drinking far less frequently than you used to, but you just admitted that when you DO drink you cannot control how much you consume and get "pretty toasty".
I, along with just about everyone else here, has been at this very same "bargaining" stage.
I only drank on weekends for a while.
I tried only drinking 2 beers at each sitting.
I tried the official "moderation managment" program where there was a weekly maximum of drinks and a daily limit.
I tried alternating non-alcoholic beer with regular beer
I tried pretty much every possible thing I could try but eventually I ALWAYS ended up returning to heavy, daily drinking. Sometimes I took a few months so I thought I was doing OK, but inevitably I always ended up right back where I started.
You are young, intelligent and it's absolute your right to seek whatever end you may. You work in a competitive field and you seem to be a very driven person by nature, I would assume it's extremely difficult for you to accept that you cannot control something in your life - It was very hard for me as well. I can tell you without hesitation though that once I gave up the battle to control my drinking and simply accepted that I cannot do it, things got much easier all around. I hope you can find what works for you.
I, along with just about everyone else here, has been at this very same "bargaining" stage.
I only drank on weekends for a while.
I tried only drinking 2 beers at each sitting.
I tried the official "moderation managment" program where there was a weekly maximum of drinks and a daily limit.
I tried alternating non-alcoholic beer with regular beer
I tried pretty much every possible thing I could try but eventually I ALWAYS ended up returning to heavy, daily drinking. Sometimes I took a few months so I thought I was doing OK, but inevitably I always ended up right back where I started.
You are young, intelligent and it's absolute your right to seek whatever end you may. You work in a competitive field and you seem to be a very driven person by nature, I would assume it's extremely difficult for you to accept that you cannot control something in your life - It was very hard for me as well. I can tell you without hesitation though that once I gave up the battle to control my drinking and simply accepted that I cannot do it, things got much easier all around. I hope you can find what works for you.
Honestly, yeah binging could end up being a problem. I'm more concerned with what happens when I do drink vs falling back into daily drinking again. I've had some pretty bad nights while binging/getting toasty whatever you want to call it. I've done some stupid things in the past, but they weren't that stupid. I never endangered my life or got a DUI. It was mostly just spending too much money on ordering food or sending a dumb text to a girl. Or calling up a friend and being like "hey man we need to hang out!" However, I've also had great nights in the past. My best relationships were started on nights with beer in our bellies. Those were great nights. Recently the nights have been great too. I've had some great "encounters" with women 2 out of the last 3 nights that I was out... which was totally worth it, especially because I needed to get over my ex... and what better way. I thank you for sharing your experience. I'm well aware of what drinking does, thanks to this site. So the moment the benefits do not outweigh the consequences. I'll abstain completely. You are right about your last paragraph it is tough for me to admit that I can't do something. I came from poverty and moved away from home early. I did everything on my own. I didn't even have textbooks my first semester in college (this was back when you actually needed the books to do well). So yeah, until I fail at this, I haven't failed at this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Originally Posted by Serper2014
My best relationships were started on nights with beer in our bellies. Those were great nights. Recently the nights have been great too. I've had some great "encounters" with women 2 out of the last 3 nights that I was out... which was totally worth it, especially because I needed to get over my ex... and what better way.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Serper2014
So the moment the benefits do not outweigh the consequences. I'll abstain completely.
Keep in mind too that all it takes is one bad night to shift the consequences in a major, major way. Since you are binging beyond your control, a DUI, picking up an STD, doing something stupid that affects your eligibility for Medical School, etc are all VERY real possibilities. Most people don't think "it can happen to them" until it does. And it does happen, more often than you think.
It sounds to me like you've made up your mind on this matter, so all I can really say at this point is good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by NightmaresOnWax
^ this is dead on. I've tried quitting a bunch of times and it never ended well when I tried to control it.
This last time the thought of how to control it and what to do with my home brew supply was particularly nagging. It got to the point where I was having racing thoughts and anxiety about what to do with the alcohol and how maybe if I limit it to X amount I'll be okay...
The question you have to ask yourself at some point is whether or not drinking "a few" here and there is worth all of that thought you are putting into it?
Is a drink or two worth stressing yourself out, trying to justify?
Is it worth the guilt? Worth fighting the want to drink more after you've started?
Wouldn't it be a lot easier to make a decision not to drink at all and quit having to think about it?
You may look at it as being free and having the freedom to drink if you want to, but it is just the opposite. Your psychical freedom to drink is holding your mind as a prisoner.
Your freedom to drink if you want to is forcing you to think about drinking when you could be thinking about much more constructive things.
This last time the thought of how to control it and what to do with my home brew supply was particularly nagging. It got to the point where I was having racing thoughts and anxiety about what to do with the alcohol and how maybe if I limit it to X amount I'll be okay...
The question you have to ask yourself at some point is whether or not drinking "a few" here and there is worth all of that thought you are putting into it?
Is a drink or two worth stressing yourself out, trying to justify?
Is it worth the guilt? Worth fighting the want to drink more after you've started?
Wouldn't it be a lot easier to make a decision not to drink at all and quit having to think about it?
You may look at it as being free and having the freedom to drink if you want to, but it is just the opposite. Your psychical freedom to drink is holding your mind as a prisoner.
Your freedom to drink if you want to is forcing you to think about drinking when you could be thinking about much more constructive things.
This is a great post. I'm not stressed out about it. I'm not trying to justify it really. I came on here to report what has happened like a reporter, next time I'll be even more dry in my reporting. I don't have to think about it, except when Im typing on here. That's why I'm leaving SR. I'll check in next month, because this is the most I've even thought about drinking in the last 1.5 months. I am getting a bit unnerved now because I'm hearing that this is impossible to do. LOL. We shall see. If I'm wrong then I'm wrong. I will admit that. I have no problem with being wrong, but I do have a problem with people that don't know me saying I can't do something that they couldn't do. I can do lots of things that you can't do. That is a fact. So Ciao for now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Anyone with a substance abuse problem should be welcome on this site, whether actively using or not. Going from daily drinking to three drinking episodes in one month is progress. It's up to you to decide if you want to move along even further in your sobriety journey. A lot of people here do not believe that harm reduction works, but I do. It is proven to be a path to abstinence for many.
I'm not an AA person but as they say, "progress not perfection". It's good to call people out on their denial but I also think it's important to reinforce and encourage the positive things they have accomplished.
I'm not an AA person but as they say, "progress not perfection". It's good to call people out on their denial but I also think it's important to reinforce and encourage the positive things they have accomplished.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Stay in touch, Serper2014. I think we all are interested in knowing how you are doing. And please don't equate the skepticism of some (or, frankly, most) for a lack of compassion. The one thing that SR has taught me is that the people here do really want the best for us. That is what motivates the overwhelming majority of those who respond to your posts.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Readerbaby I believe in harm reduction as a means to taper. Subox for heroin, has been shown to help significantly. But the goal is not lifetime subox it's abstinence. Chantix for cigarette cessation works in a similar fashion with abstinence the end goal. Tapering or medically supervised benzo treatment for alcohol. In all of the harm reduction models abstinence is the goal.
Even moderation management, which in disagree with personally, has strict limits. Nowhere does anyone suggest binging is acceptable as a harm redux model. The OP and subsequent posts have confirmed and self admitted to binging without control of the binges. Supporting this is enabling addiction, not harm redux and to confuse is dangerous and harmful!
Even moderation management, which in disagree with personally, has strict limits. Nowhere does anyone suggest binging is acceptable as a harm redux model. The OP and subsequent posts have confirmed and self admitted to binging without control of the binges. Supporting this is enabling addiction, not harm redux and to confuse is dangerous and harmful!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
You've stated before, and again in this very thread that abstinence was currently your goal, so I'm not quite sure what you mean by the above comment.
Keep in mind too that all it takes is one bad night to shift the consequences in a major, major way. Since you are binging beyond your control, a DUI, picking up an STD, doing something stupid that affects your eligibility for Medical School, etc are all VERY real possibilities. Most people don't think "it can happen to them" until it does. And it does happen, more often than you think.
It sounds to me like you've made up your mind on this matter, so all I can really say at this point is good luck.
Keep in mind too that all it takes is one bad night to shift the consequences in a major, major way. Since you are binging beyond your control, a DUI, picking up an STD, doing something stupid that affects your eligibility for Medical School, etc are all VERY real possibilities. Most people don't think "it can happen to them" until it does. And it does happen, more often than you think.
It sounds to me like you've made up your mind on this matter, so all I can really say at this point is good luck.
You are right, and it does only take one bad night to shift things into perspective. I will have to be very very careful. I'll be graduated soon so I don't think I'll get kicked out of med school, but hey it could happen. I think if it was going to happen it would have already lol, but yes Ill be very careful. Thanks for the advice scott... Ill see you next month or so, who knows maybe Ill get 30 days sober in a row!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by jdooner
Readerbaby I believe in harm reduction as a means to taper. Subox for heroin, has been shown to help significantly. But the goal is not lifetime subox it's abstinence. Chantix for cigarette cessation works in a similar fashion with abstinence the end goal. Tapering or medically supervised benzo treatment for alcohol. In all of the harm reduction models abstinence is the goal.
Even moderation management, which in disagree with personally, has strict limits. Nowhere does anyone suggest binging is acceptable as a harm redux model. The OP and subsequent posts have confirmed and self admitted to binging without control of the binges. Supporting this is enabling addiction, not harm redux and to confuse is dangerous and harmful!
Even moderation management, which in disagree with personally, has strict limits. Nowhere does anyone suggest binging is acceptable as a harm redux model. The OP and subsequent posts have confirmed and self admitted to binging without control of the binges. Supporting this is enabling addiction, not harm redux and to confuse is dangerous and harmful!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by readerbaby71
Anyone with a substance abuse problem should be welcome on this site, whether actively using or not. Going from daily drinking to three drinking episodes in one month is progress. It's up to you to decide if you want to move along even further in your sobriety journey. A lot of people here do not believe that harm reduction works, but I do. It is proven to be a path to abstinence for many.
I'm not an AA person but as they say, "progress not perfection". It's good to call people out on their denial but I also think it's important to reinforce and encourage the positive things they have accomplished.
I'm not an AA person but as they say, "progress not perfection". It's good to call people out on their denial but I also think it's important to reinforce and encourage the positive things they have accomplished.
Thankyou. I should be welcome here...at least I thought I should be. I didn't think I was breaking any rules by talking about what has been going on with myself lately. I could lie, but what would the point in coming here be? I want to be honest with you all.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Thankyou. I should be welcome here...at least I thought I should be. I didn't think I was breaking any rules by talking about what has been going on with myself lately. I could lie, but what would the point in coming here be? I want to be honest with you all.
You say you've learned a lot this summer on SR. Try this - go back and read this post assuming that someone else wrote and ask yourself what advice you would give that person.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Thankyou. I should be welcome here...at least I thought I should be. I didn't think I was breaking any rules by talking about what has been going on with myself lately. I could lie, but what would the point in coming here be? I want to be honest with you all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
