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Could some Athiest share there experiences with sobriety.

Old 08-20-2014, 10:29 AM
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Could some Athiest share there experiences with sobriety.

I've decided to get sober after being addicted on and off to alcohol for 10 years. I have no idea where to go help, but I know where not go AA. I am court ordered to go three times a week, and I leave every meeting with a headache. I would like to hear how some of you have done it without the use of god or AA.
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:34 AM
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Try Rational Recovery, there is a free primer on their website. People will say that AA is spiritual but not religious: my experience is that in practice that is a distinction without a difference. I wish you well in your sobriety!
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:35 AM
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Hi and welcome to SR! I'll point you in the direction of a website that's really helped me deal with the spiritual aspect of AA: AA Agnostica. I have most of the books they offer there in the store. My two favorites are Waiting by Marya Hornbacher and Mindfulness and the 12 Steps by Therese Jacobs-Stewart.

My advice is to not hold on too tightly to any one philosophy or worldview. In recovery, our ideas and ways of approaching life change. Just be open. I have found that tolerance of others and myself was what I was sorely lacking during active addiction.

Good luck!
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:46 AM
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There's also a secular recovery area of this website.

Lots of helpful stuff in there too.

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

There's a number of us who are atheistic, deistic, agnostic, or even a practicing member of a faith who find a secular recovery is a better fit.
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by n3wLife View Post
I am court ordered to go three times a week, and I leave every meeting with a headache.
Being court ordered to attend AA is both a shame for you...and a shame for AA. How wonderful for the program that it could be so easily construed as "penalty" (not).

I would DESPISE being made to go to AA 3x a week.

I actually "choose" to go once a week...to a lovely little group unlike all the others I attended (and disliked).

You have my empathy friend.
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:20 AM
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When it comes to belief and faith, I don't tend to believe in very much, I grew up in a Irish Catholic family, but things faded away as I got older, I don't practice, and have continued with an agnostic/atheist viewpoint now for years!!

The important thing is to not see AA as the only way to get Sober, we need to get creative and not use that as a hurdle, there are secular groups and community groups that are great alternatives!!

The second thing is to still consider AA in the context of taking some bits and leaving the rest, if AA is the only meeting taking place and it's a choice between either AA or drinking in an evening in the future, then being with like minded people would still have benefits!!

Like minded in terms of beating alcoholism and remaining Sober is the viewpoint I've tried to focus on, even here on SR we all have that common goal, but we all disagree in a healthy way about so many other things around the methods of achieving that!!
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Old 08-20-2014, 01:20 PM
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I would rather be ordered to AA 3X a week than having to shovel ssst at a horse farm 3X a week - did that.
unfortunately you gotta go. fortunately you can just sit there and listen and drink the coffee if you wish and maybe have a cookie. maybe you'll learn a thing or two about yourself.

I was ordered to AA by my employer indirectly. I went and made the most of it. Met some cool people and I still go to meeting now and then. I am not an atheist. I'm none of the above.
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Old 08-20-2014, 01:39 PM
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Court mandated AA attendance for any reason has been ruled to be a violation of First Amendment rights.

Based on recent court decisions, if you have been ordered to attend a 12-step group or 12-step based treatment by the government (the order could be coming from a court, prison officer, probation or parole officer, licensing board or licensing board diversion program, or anyone authorized to act on behalf of the government), you have the right not to attend them. However, you can still be required to attend some form of support group, and some type of treatment. The ACLU and SMART Recovery provide resources should you wish to pursue this.

As for secular alternatives, there are plenty. Check out that link from Sparky - lots of information and support there for you.
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Old 08-20-2014, 02:02 PM
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did you have a choice to attend aa or not ? as from my understanding they tend to give out a choice to either attend aa or some other form of punishment, i take it you did a crime and this is seen as a way to help you maybe change your life so you not longer commit crimes ?

personally as i have run prison aa meetings in the past, i find we have a better response from people who are actually inside prison and who want to get out and are willing to maybe listen to a new way that will help them to not go back to prison again.

however i also campaigned in our area inter-group for the aa chit system to be introduced and i got voted down, as people said it wouldnt work as people who would be sent to aa by the courts wouldnt want it and would only use it as a soft option to avoid punishment ?
but me trying hard to give people a last chance before going to prison ended up feeling they were all wrong and i was right. but maybe after reading your post they might of been totaly right ?
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Old 08-20-2014, 03:26 PM
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1)don't drink no matter what. 2)go to the meetings--don't pick a fight with probation 3) google AA alternatives 4) try out the secular links here. I go to AA and am atheist and most everyone knows. Identifying myself as such introduced me to others in the group who are also. Best wishes on a plan of action but it starts with really wanting it.
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Old 08-20-2014, 03:45 PM
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In live in both worlds since I was a kid I've just always thought there was a god but I'm not in aa it didn't work for me everyone different I love science too but its the whole we got lucky in space from big bang i look at the stars and see science but the vastness of it all billion and billions of univeserses as just too much to be lucky

I font belong to any religion I just kinda believe. Religious ppl don't get it and science ppl don't get it but I do a child of both worlds of science and faith

I know others will disagree and that is fine

Stay away from triggers write them down journal perhaps cycling helps and something exhausting like swimming
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Old 08-20-2014, 04:42 PM
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I quit mostly by participating here. There's lots of wisdom at SR.
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Old 08-20-2014, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by n3wLife View Post
I've decided to get sober after being addicted on and off to alcohol for 10 years. I have no idea where to go help, but I know where not go AA. I am court ordered to go three times a week, and I leave every meeting with a headache. I would like to hear how some of you have done it without the use of god or AA.
Quitting drinking and spirituality are mutually exclusive concepts, no matter what a program might tell you. Our interests while drinking and while sober may change, however, and some choose to bring spirituality into their life. Because it coincides with them stopping drinking, many choose to attribute their quitting drinking to that. For many though, the concept is offensive and silly, and anyone who tells you that you cannot be sober without spirituality is lying to you.

Plenty of secular recovery methods, try Rational Recovery, SMART recovery, etc. Also a sub-forum on here. Sorry to hear about the court order, I guess try to take what you can from it and just blot out the rest.
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:34 PM
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
Court mandated AA attendance for any reason has been ruled to be a violation of First Amendment rights.
I'm not seeing whether or not the OP is American. If not, no 1st Amendment rights!

Welcome to SR, n3wLife! I too am an atheist. Everyone is different but AVRT works for me. Do a search for it, it's easy to find and free. So far I've been sober for 22 months with no relapses and not really any cravings to speak of.

If you have to go to AA, maybe just try to gloss over the religious stuff. Just being with people than understand what you're going through might help.
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Old 08-23-2014, 10:00 PM
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Don't go to AA if you wish to be sober for many years to come. AA is but one of the many, many ways to stop drinking for good.

I went through AA as a freethinker. It was the best method I found in the end for me. No AA steps, 12Steps YES! Secular steps made sense, easy to follow with great results for me. Eventually I refined my sobriety practice to "letting-go" of addiction. No struggle, no mind games of concocting a God of my understand, nope none of that. Just being true to who I am...Freethinker. secular, atheist or what not..of no matter really

AA is unnecessary for anyone to remain sober for good. Its one popular way to be free of addiction. Not the best way by my feelings, there are many ways to quit alcohol for good. I found my way to stay clean/sober without AA's philosophy in my life. Detaching - 'letting-go' - dissociating from alcohol without struggle has been working very well for me. 1 1/2 years now free from drugs/alcohol. freedom.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:18 AM
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
Court mandated AA attendance for any reason has been ruled to be a violation of First Amendment rights.
This is only true for the 9th appellate court, which covers the pacific coast of the USA. This issue has not gone before the SCOTUS yet so for most of the country, if you are convicted of DUI/OWI, you can and will be court ordered to AA.

From a practical standpoint, even in California where this case was decided, you are STILL going to AA. When I got my DUI I was court ordered to "recovery meetings", which of course AA outnumbers the alternatives by about 20:1 if not more.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Nuudawn View Post
Being court ordered to attend AA is both a shame for you...and a shame for AA. How wonderful for the program that it could be so easily construed as "penalty" (not).
Actually there is a fair amount of backlash against court ordered AA by the groups of AA themselves. In my neighboring state of Mississippi, there are a LOT of groups that will not sign court papers. One case in particular the judge was openly frustrated because no AA group in the entire county was signing court papers, and he realized he couldn't force the AA groups to do so. (I looked for a link to this and couldn't find it).

AA doesn't really have an official position on this - it is each group's decision to sign, or not sign, court papers. It isn't a shame for AA - just a fact. Maybe the 9th circuit court of appeals' ruling that court ordered AA is unconstitutional will grow roots and this issue will go away. I don't see that happening anytime soon.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:49 AM
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I found my freedom mostly through Buddhism (no particular school), Taoism and meditation practise.

Still I don't consider myself a Buddhist or a Taoist.
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