raisingkids

Hello All,

I am not a recovering alcoholic... merely one that is divorced from an alcoholic.
We have four children together ranging from 8-16... i am seeking help for them.... i am unsure of ways to tell them their father is wrong on many levels without shattering the image of their father. He has many good qualities. We divorced b/c the alcohol eventually led to gambling, porn addiction, cheating, etc. i can't tell my children the brutal truth. Any book suggestions or suggestions in general?

Thank you each in advance.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum raisingkids!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR, we also have a Family and Friends section too, which may be worth checking out!!

When I was younger I attended Al-anon and even younger still Alateen, so support is really important looking in on someone's addictions!!

My dad was an alcoholic, but you'd be surprised what kids already know, my mum never had to actually tell my sister and I that alcohol was the issue, we already knew from the ages of 4/5yrs old!!

Hopefully you can find out what works for your family!! It's great to have you here on SR!!

gettingsmarter

Hi raisingkids,

All I can say is please don't talk smack about each other to your kids. My parents are not divorced but have always a lot of animosity towards each other (long Long story). They have put down each other when the other was not around to try and win our favor. This was pretty much all our lives. It has caused us a lot of confusion and me a lot of trust issues.

I know this doesn't help with your question but I think it is a little perspective from your kids side.

Meraviglioso

Hello and welcome to the forums! I know there is a friends and family sectiont hat I think will be of good help to you, but please do feel free to browse around our parts as well. I am the alcoholic of the couple. I am separated from the father of my children (due to issues unrelated to alcohol). We have an amazing relationship despite my problems and our differences. I think this is so because we always, always, always put the kids first. I never speak poorly of their father (and there is plenty to say) and he never speaks poorly of me (and there is plenty to say). We support each other the best we can. I need special support being an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic and he needs special support for his own reasons. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. But try to do so as you have been doing, without making the father out to be a terrible person. Even if you, the adult thinks/recognizes that, it is nothing the kids need to know at this point. All that said, I am an alcoholic and I don't know if I can give you advice as well as an expereinced spouse of an alcoholic can. As mentioned, the friends and family section here seems to be quite active and supportive. Best of luck and thank you for being such a great parent that you are here seeking the most positive way to educate your kids about this horrible disease. Best wishes to you.