Hopscotch

A family member has close to two years sobriety.

I've noticed that in the past few months, she's posted a few of those pics / jokes about alcohol on Facebook: You know which ones I mean.
Yesterday it was a video of how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew.

I was surprised that she'd post these kinds of things. It made me uncomfortable! I don't know... there are so many things to post, why chose those? Almost as if the whole thing is a joke. Especially when I read people's comments underneath- people who clearly have no clue about her alcoholism and were refering to her old partying days.

I don't know why it bothers me. Perhaps because I feel like she should know better? Its not a joke. Or that maybe that's she's taking the subject that has caused so much destruction in our lives seemingly lightly? Maybe I'm afraid she's the tempting the devil, glamorizing drinking, making it seem fun? Does that make sense?

Thoughts?

MrBen

I think it's fine. I read failbook and still read the "After 8" (party fails) section and find it funny. As long as people aren't saying "oh you were so fun when you were drinking, come get drunk with us".

I'm all for laughing when possible. There's no comedy without tragedy after all.

ultradad

Hopscotch,

I get what you mean, but I have to remember when I was in active addiction I posted the same stuff! People really don't understand the disease of alcoholism and most don't have the disease so drinking is related to fun for them and today I have to understand that and be okay with that. I have a couple of friends who know my situation and when they post something it really gets under my skin, almost as if they're taunting me, but in reality I am probably nowhere on their mind when they post that stuff.

Today, thanks to God and AA I can laugh at those things without the obsession to drink!

ScottFromWI

Ignore people that post things that bother you. You have no way of knowing what others intend when posting no matter what the subject might be.

My stance on Facebook is that while it can be useful, the bulk if the content is gossip or personal ego stroking. I deleted my account about 3 years ago and I don't miss it one bit.

dwtbd

Have you asked her about it?

bigsombrero

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's important to remember that some people take Facebook seriously - others do not. Considering the amount of weird/crazy/personal stuff that some people post to that site, I wouldn't worry to much about this kind of thing. As will all Facebook stuff: if something rubs you the wrong way, just scroll on by and ignore it.

desypete

maybe she is just living one day at a time in the real world ?

we dont need to hide away from drink its all around us everywhere
we have to learn how to live in this world without drink not the world has to hide the drink away from us : )

i joke in aa meetings all the time about booze i very often have said i am off to the pub after the meeting just for a joke and most people do find it funny

or when i was group leader and time is almost up in the meeting i oftern would say last orders at the bar please : ) for anyone who wanted the last few mins for a share

i do laugh at myself and my illness today in many ways
maybe thats all she is doing ?

LadyinBC

Well I don't post on facebook even though I have an account. But I have been known to make jokes about my drinking and alcohol sometimes. I take my sobriety seriously, however, sometimes it can get too intense and I have to find the humour in all this or I would go crazy. I mean being an alcoholic is something I will be for the rest of my life and is something I need to be aware of all the time.

Sometime I need a quick breather from it all if that makes any sense.

dwtbd

I don't participate in what I call the Borg and have most days a dim view of all the hubbub. But then things like the ALS ice bucket challenge spring up and bam humanity is temporarily at least redeemed

lunar

facebook?
what's that?

Charlie117926

I hear you lunar and Scott. I started a FB page in 2009 and two days later I shut it down. Do people really want to hear that I changed the spark plugs in my truck, took the dog for a walk, cut the grass or my little league t-ball team won their game. Well maybe the T-ball game part.

I am not selling myself short, but the way I see it, simple is better. Less media is better. Heck I barely watch TV. Maybe I am old school / old fashioned but I managed this long without all of that stuff. I hate my smartphone (provided by work) except when I can log into SR and text my wife.

LBrain

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING. I never understood how people can live out through this medium. It can be useful for many as a means to stay close. Otherwise...

GotGrace

I don't know, I guess I am in the minority here but I think what she is doing is a bit unusual. When I was drinking, I would often make jokes about drinking. I didn't know why I did it, I guess I thought it was normal. Now I believe I did it for validation. I wanted others to joke along with me about alcohol so I could continue to believe alcohol was not a problem for me, that everyone drank to excess/regularly, that alcohol and the effect it had on me was a laughing matter.

I agree with the idea that with so many things to post, why single out the thing that has made life difficult if the post is not shining a light on that aspect. By posting "funny" alcohol-related stuff, it seems like she is minimizing a dangerous part of her past.

I'm with you, Hopscotch. And I agree with the poster who suggested asking her about it.

dwtbd

I was going to comment on the medium as such. Just cause I'm a smartass and can't help it. I was going to mention that the medium itself is as old as the Last Spike or Golden Spike driven at Promontory Point to ceremoniuously complete the Transcontinental railroad. Providing the backbone of a physical connection to link the US east to west, along with the TransAtlantic cable.
Turns out the actiual spike is currently held by Stanford University, the place (I believe) where some people developed the first 'computer' to 'computer' communication protocols.

Serotonin

I like the option to either delete of not follow people.

leviathan

I think I understand, she was joking like she was a current drinker? maybe its the forum that distorts the context of the joke. FB is notorious for off-handed comments that would fly well in analog conversation being misconstrued. like desypete, I sometimes crack a joke about using. I honestly think its healthy. I figure ive been through enough pain that I can use a little humor in my sobriety. I also remember feeling better back in the "serious days" in rehab when someone further along would make a funny.

if shes doing it to really act as if she drinks, it could be a flag, I guess.

SnowDawg

Jokes about alcoholism aren't entertaining. My Dad once filmed a man who was helping him stack wood in a woodpile. He couldn't stand up, much less stack wood. We watched it as kids and everyone got the biggest kick out of it.
Joking about alcoholism is like joking about cancer or physically handicapped people in my opinion.

Soberpotamus

I'd surmise this person's intelligence level is about average, and they probably are wanting some sort of validation for their drinking.

I deleted Facebook three years ago and glad I did... as Scott mentioned it seems to mostly be about ego stroking, gossip, and just a big time waste.

Hobbers

I see zero problem with it, but I am not you. if it bothers YOU, well then, it bothers you.

about 25% of my facebook friends are in the booze industry- bartenders, distillers, marketing pros, brand ambassadors, bar owners, etc, so I see LOTS of booze-related posts, jokes, etc, all day. I personally don't hate them for MY problem- I can't see how that is right or helpful.

JD4010

Meh. Even my friends in "real life" make booze jokes now & then. Some of them are really funny.

I still enjoy W.C. Fields, too.