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23 years old & drinking is ruining everything...

Old 08-19-2014, 02:12 PM
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23 years old & drinking is ruining everything...

Hey everyone. I'm at a very low point in life currently, and I finally have the guts to admit drinking is causing most of it. Ever since I turned legal age to drink, my drinking had progressed.

I was working in a grocery store for about 2 years, but once I got home and started binging on beers, waking up to an alarm clock for work no longer was my first priority, so I ended up getting fired. Around the time of me getting fired, I met a girl. After dating for 9 months, I moved in with her at her apartment. At the time I didn't even have my license, so the deal was I could live here, as long as I got my license, and quickly found a job to help with rent & the like.

Fast forward 7 month;, I have my license, and I also had a job. It was a good job, $17/hr to start. Problem was it was 12hr overnight shifts in which I could not get used to at all, 5pm-5am. I didn't even feel like a human most of the time, so I ended up leaving. Even though it wasn't for me, I feel guilt because of the burden it places on my girlfriend.

She'll get on me about finding a job, and in turn I turn to alcohol to 'block her out' and find solace. The drink never judges me, yells, of complains, right?

I'm a malt liquor drinker & I've heard that they are especially addictive drinks, though I do not know of that's true. I usually consume three 40oz's a day. I have done nothing but drag my girlfriend down with me & verbally abuse her during my drunken blackouts. It kills me inside because I know without the drink, I'm not that person. The feelings of guilt I have are relieved by alcohol, and so the cycle goes.

Just yesterday, I got 'giddy' when she left for work knowing I have a fridge full of 40's. What happened was I got fall-down drunk, ended up over a friends house smoking weed. She snapped when she got home about me getting high knowing I need a job. She hasn't said a word to me today, and I am at wits end....

What do I do guys? I don't know myself. I sit here writing this craving a drink to forget about all the things alcohol has done to me & my life.
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Old 08-19-2014, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by ZeroNowhere570 View Post
What do I do guys? I don't know myself. I sit here writing this craving a drink to forget about all the things alcohol has done to me & my life.
Welcome Zero, and thanks for sharing your story. What do you do now? Well, not drinking is a great start. Having a drink will simply take you right back to causing all the problems you just listed above. Getting to know yourself will take some time...and you might be surprised to find that you will like what you find.
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Old 08-19-2014, 02:48 PM
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I can relate to what you said about the cycle of guilt and shame being relieved by alcohol causing more problems and more guilt and shame. I was on that merry go round for years. The elavator is jus going down but the good news is you can get off now. Break the cycle- by any means. I tried will power by myself and failed repeatedly. Finally the pain was bad enough that I tried AA. It was not what I expected and has been the only solution I have found. What should you do now- do the next right thing. Don't drink and look into a support group. There are different options that can really help.
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Old 08-19-2014, 03:04 PM
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Welcome ZeroNowhere570
you'll find a lot of support here

You're young and you haven;t been drinking for decades - you have an excellent chance of turning things around

It all starts with a decision to make today day one and a commitment - I shall not drink today. Repeat tomorrow

Why not check out our Class of August support thread too?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-10.html

D
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Old 08-19-2014, 03:06 PM
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Maybe its time to try getting sober big step give aa a call for a chat nothing else explain it is ruining everything

If you stop drinking now @ 23 you will go far in life not saying you won't anyway but its time to face facts and try to save yourself as you and others are suffering alcoholism now I am to hi I am a happy alcoholic (that sounds so wrong lol) what i mean is that the thought of drinking scared me thought i d be a hermit etc

I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WROONG IT HURT !!!!!!!!!

I am happy with my gf celebrated our 14 yr anniversary
Family has big love for except for 1
Neighbours talk to me
I am 32 with my life and earning potential massively boosted through just be sober I swear down on that !

I could go on but in 13 months it has been a BG turnaround still got problems as everyone does

I manage it and so can you welcome aboard
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Old 08-19-2014, 03:32 PM
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Been there, done that. Knew I had a drinking problem by the age of 20, but it took me nine long and painful years filled with drunken chaos to get sober. The only thing that worked for me was to get to an AA meeting.

Normal drinkers don't do any of the things that you described. All that you described is alcoholic behavior.

So go to a meeting, like now. You'll find so much relief there.
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