MrBen

Whenever I quit I keep feeling myself steadily getting less capable of controlling my anger. I've stopped working Sunday's because if my work mate Tristan acts like my manager one more time I do feel I will be obligated to drop kick him into the pool and then not rescue him.

Honestly, I was moments away from losing my temper in the middle of a busy workday.

During my last period of sobriety, my girlfriend's father made some crack about my wage and I informed him that a man who never supported his children is and will always be a bad person and no amount of cars or holidays will ever change that.

After I apolagised to a customer for not noticing the door to the pool area was locked (it wasn't my responsibility, but I'm the guy who was there, so I got the complaints) and they continued I plainly told them the problem is solved and considering they are in their 60s and it's a sunday, I can't imagine the two minutes they lost was of much consequence.

In short, I feel angry, a lot. I'm struggling to keep my mouth shut.

I'm usually very nice though, honest =)

Anyone else struggle with anger? Tips would be appreciated.

360shoes

Oh yes Mr B. I found I had a lot of pent up anger and to some extent still do.

It might be one of those feelings most difficult to feel and deal with for some of us. It's one just like the rest of them. I know I had a hard time navigating through most of them at first. Anger is one that is a little more difficult to hide I think. Easier for me to hide sad and happy doesn't need hidden.

Try kick boxing or something. I have to find an outlet myself.
Let me know what you find. I could use the help too.

LadyinBC

Oh definitely! Was not mcchirpy when I quit. And the littlest thing could set me off.

This will pass, it really will. Let's face it we have removed our main outlet and we need to find another one.

Are you doing anything to help with your sobriety? Meetings or anything like that? People you can talk to?

desypete

i think a well done to you is needed as even when you felt like reacting to the anger, YOU DIDNT !!!

imagine if you had been drunk and was facing those people : ) your anger would of come out and you would of woke up the next day feeling full of guild and shame etc

your going to face a lot of things daily that can test your reactions, the more you face them and dont react and then you can see you can do it if you keep your gob shut it does get easier
one day things that would of set you off like a bottle of pop just dont have the same impact and you will remain calm

i had to to this kind of work with my sponsor who could make me see how i am and how i should be or could be etc

i can still get angry but it soon goes away and if i had done anything wrong in my anger i have to put it right so i dont live in that state of mind were its going on and on in my head

sounds to me you did a good job of handling those situations and you didnt react so keep that up and let those people go now as they will be moaning about somthing else the next day : )

Alphabet

Absolutely. Sometimes I get so angry I actually feel like I'm turning into She-Hulk!

What I try to do, if possible, is remove myself from the situation and take a quick walk while practicing some controlled breathing. If that's not an option, I pause, take a deep breath, and try to put perspective on the situation: is this going to effect me on a large scale i.e. is this persons comment ACTUALLY going to ruin my day? Is the way I want to respond appropriate?
I find that after dealing with difficult situations, if I'm able to respond with something polite and neutralizing, even if the other person doesn't respond in kind, I've "won" so to speak and end up feeling way better afterwards than I would had I said something hurtful or inappropriate (which, believe me, I have).

Here's an example:

When I was a bit younger, I was working retail at a shoe chain at the local mall. My style back then was black hair with Bettie bangs, red lipstick, band shirts and jeans (wait, I guess it still is lol). Didn't even have all the tattoos I do now back then. I was ringing up a customer and he keeps saying things to me like "I bet you hang out with all the freaks in trench oats in the food court", "Is this just a phase or something?", and "I'd hate to be your father". I stopped for a moment, looked at him, and told him that he was being needlessly rude to me while I was just trying to help him with his purchase and if he needed someone else to finish up the transaction, I'd be happy to grab someone else. Not only did that shut him up, but I felt great for standing up for myself in a calm, collected way rather than telling him off like I wanted to.

Being angry is ok, and of course it sucks when someone slights you like that. You've just gotta channel it correctly, and you'll walk away the victor!

Altoids

Way to go for handling it. And, just my opinion, but there are some people that need to be drop kicked into a pool. We can think it, but we can't do it. LOL! (Sorry. . .couldn't resist.)

You can't help how you feel, but you can (and did) control how you react to those feelings. And feelings pass.

Thanks for the topic and sharing.

PurpleKnight

It all factors into how I deal with overall stress, I go for a lot of walks since becoming Sober, walk when I get out of work, walk on weekends, plenty of fresh air just to blow off some steam!!