Grungehead

I used to think I had an off button too. It turns out it was really just the pause button.

Dee74

I think the worst thing that can ever happen to an alcoholic is to drink...and nothing bad happens.

I've had those moments too - I drank again...I didn't die, I didn't end up in jail...I had two beers and stopped.

But always, without exception, I would shortly find myself back at square one again.

This addiction thing is sneaky and relentless - it makes us remember the one time things went 'well' and makes us forget the thousands of times it didn't.

Be very very careful and hyper-aware Trouble,

D

aasharon90

With 24 yrs. of not taking a sip of alcohol,
Im still not ready nor ever will be ready to
gamble with my life and recovery.

One drink may not do me in, but will be
the millions that may follow because I
know in my gut that one drink will never
be enough alcohol in this world to satisfy
my craving for it.

With many folks who reached 2 digits
in their recovery and made a conscience
decision to take a drink for what ever
reason, led them right back to where
they left off of when they took their
last drink and progressed quickly to
either lead them to their deaths, jails,
or mentally sick.

I haven't yet seen or heard anyone with
yrs. of recovery return to the drink and
become a successful drinker. And with
that knowledge, I continue forward living
my life in recovery incorporating steps
principles and Faith to guide me to remaining
sober another day.

suki44883

Funny? I don't think so. We are sharing our experiences with you. We are trying to help you. But you think we're funny. Okay. Thanks for that slap in the face.

You apparently think, based on this one instance of having half a beer after 47 whole days, that you can have a few now and again and you'll be fine. Maybe you will, but I doubt it. If someone can stop when they want and alcohol doesn't interfere with their life, then those people don't seek out a sober recovery website.

BTW - I think your guardian angel is getting that look again.

tnman1967

I have another take on this, you said you had no cravings for alcohol. To me this indicate you are not an alcoholic or addicted. Secondly, if you can honestly stop whenever you want, be it after half a beer or after six you are not an alcoholic. You might have overindulged and done it due to peer pressure, social expectations whatever.

However, if you find yourself drinking more and more and eventually begin to feel guilty about it then I would say you are an alcoholic. Although, I have to wonder what you are doing on this kind of forum if alcohol was a positive in your life.

lillyknitting

Each & every time I've "tried" a little alcohol, like say a small glass of wine etc is just me setting myself up to drink again. It's as simple as that. I will then have another drink further down the road, then another, then two, then well, I'm ok I can drink tonight like a "normal person". Then, bang. I'm drunk as a sack, just like before!!!! Duh! Your only kidding yourself. To enjoy sobriety we must take alcohol away completely. Not a drop. For then and only then can we move forward, live a sober life. We must let go of the past. To keep on drinking sips, half glasses here & there is still living in the past, our drunken state. I hope this makes sense.

Sonrisa12

Even if I take taken long long breaks, the on switch is just that - ON. Sure I've had only one glass of wine and been ok after a long break. I've done that a lot and its ok for the first few months. But there are times it completely consumes me without me realizing that it happened. It usually takes a few months but I'm right back where I started. It always starts off as 1/2 a glass of wine and I'm fine. Then it gets to be more. Then a nightcap drink that turns into 2 because, heck, last month I proved to myself that I could handle just one. And it goes on and on to a point where I am drinking every night and not realizing how bad it is getting. The hardest part is to realize that even though we think we are in control of it, we aren't in control at all. Very very few people can drink normally after a 'break'. I thought the same way you did after 100 days and thought I had a handle on it - turns out I was wrong and had to go back to square one. And like you, I think I posted something online that see, LOOK! I did 100 days and now I'm cured and can handle myself because I had a glass of wine and I stopped! Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. If it did, we would all go back to drinking in moderation. This is a progressive disease and its true, once you are pickled you can't go back. If we could, we would all have done it by now.

Trouble1234

I apparently hit a nerve here with being honest about my situation - What you need to realize is that we are all different. Some people can have one as I did last night and some cannot. I had to do it for myself to see what would happen period plain and simple. That does not mean I am going to go buy a 6 pack tonight or tomorrow because nothing happened!

And I said ya'll are funny in the nicest way no disrespect an I am truly taking the responses to heart. Please do not make it into something that it's not.

thatcat

I could've done the half beer and stopped at that pretty easily - IF that was all there was in the house .... But, for me, if there were more available, I know I would have went for the next one..... etc.... until there were none.

LadyBlue0527

Trouble, every time I read one of these posts I wish I had a direct line through the computer and could reach through to the other end to give a good shake. Before I comment I always go to take a look at all the posts created by the person. How do I know? Maybe what they're saying makes sense.

You have to look at it from this perspective. Most of us sat right where you are at this very moment. In fact, you remind me a lot of myself in my earlier drinking years. A few beers or glasses of wine every night, heavier drinking on the weekends, sometimes too much. Then the hangovers began to get worse, it didn't matter how little I drank. The weekends began to get more out of control. My life was not always the way that it was on the day that I had decided that enough was enough. It took me some time to get there. However, one of my biggest clues even in those earlier days of drinking was that I always wanted more. This does not appear to be you. Who knows, maybe your ok with it.

There's just this little piece of me though that looks at this

and I remember just how I was too when I quit then rethought it and made the decision that I was going to allow my best friend back into my life. People who don't have alcohol problems just don't care whether they drink or they don't drink. My husband drank his last beer two weeks before I quit. He didn't quit, he just hadn't had a beer and then once I quit he decided to just not drink in support of me. Almost 15 months later and he hasn't batted an eyelash. Couldn't care less.

I sincerely wish you the best and if you're being honest then maybe it will be ok. Only you know the answer, you came here for a reason.

Trouble1234

Thanks Lady Blue ! I came here because like I said I was drinking on the weekends and it was too much. I am glad I found this place and everyone here. Everything is life is a lesson is it not? And I know I have learned mine. Appreciate everyone's words!!!!!!!!!

LadyBlue0527

To be fair, yes, you are going to hit a nerve. Anything on this board that equates to "Hey, I drank, and guess what!, I was ok!" is going to hit a nerve. It's only because once again, we have all been there. We get what we know as the elation of a reprieve where we talked ourselves into believing a lie that we were going to be ok. It's a hard thing for us to watch because we can only assume that since you've come here that there's more to this picture than we know.

I still maintain that there are varying degrees and perhaps you are fine. You have to understand though, proclaiming your ability to drink normally after concurring that you have an issue and coming here is not going to have everyone patting you on the back. Is that what you expected?

Trouble1234

I thought this is a free forum where we can freely talk honestly about our situation. So because its not what everyone wants to hear I should not post here?

PurpleKnight

I think the idea of having one drink, can get confused with controlling your drinking!!

I'd be pretty certain, that I could probably have one drink tonight, and maybe one drink tomorrow too!!

The progression back to where we started is not always on Day 1, it is a mindset that progresses and so on that weekend sometime in the future the same pattern may emerge where you end up drinking too much and find yourself in the same position that prompted you to join SR in the first place!!

Having gone round in circles for literally years trying to control my drinking, and of course it's a free Forum, I guess we're all just trying to say be careful Trouble!!

LadyBlue0527

.....and I'm going to stop after this post because I completely understand what you're saying and if you're ok with it then so be it. Again, you seem honest.

We learned lessons too, hard ones. For us it meant the numerous times that we talked ourselves into believing that it was ok we found out that it really wasn't.

Don't take it personally. It just doesn't go over well on a board of people that can't afford, not even for one second, to allow or entertain the thought of trying a drink of alcohol because we already know the outcome for us. So when someone posts like this it's just hard to swallow. It doesn't mean that we are against you it's just that we've seen the same posts from many before and they unfortunately all end the same. It may be different for you but historically speaking those are few and far between.

Trouble1234

Thanks Purple ! You are always so very nice. I am actually cooking again and I do not want to drink at all. I rather have my banana almond milk smoothie I have in the evening when I have a sweet tooth.

Trouble1234

Thanks LadyBlue - I understand and I hope everyone has a wonderful night.
Take care !

MIRecovery

We will still be here when you return

Soberwolf

A couple of things just observation pls don't think I'm being critical

Why did you stop drinking in the first place ?

The fact that you have stated 'i will never drink like that again' is something to really look at as that was me before I admitted I had a problem that went on for 3-5 years and the incidents became more regular

If you had an off button you would never drink excessively in thre first place not unless you suddenly found 1 and I doubt that

The fact you stated that you had to find out after 46 days suggests you missed drinking and wanted to drink

You should focus on the fact you said you had to find out ? Find out what exactly

If your alcoholic I'm not here to make the call me thats down on you

My dad is in the midsts of hell from alcoholism and is considering seeking help he used to say he had a gift a off button if you like he is 63

Admitting I had a problem saved my life I didn't shout it from a rooftop and I do it my way I am 32 and glad i woke up from it sooner rather than later

PS why is your username trouble ?

Good luck in everything you do will you keep reporting on how your doing it will help me

All the he best

ESD907

I actually think I understand what you are saying. When I was a much younger woman, I could go months w/o drinking, w/o thinking of drinking. But usually when I drank, I drank a lot. I even went a few years from my teens to my late 30's. And sure, I sometimes had one or two, but usually when it was controlled by an event, or someone else. When at 42/43, I had the freedom, I became alcoholic. Was I one from my teen years, Most definitely, just not yet 'active'. I truly hope you are different, it will make life much easier for you. But alcohol is very sneaky. Be wary.