ForgetfulKevin

Any tips on how to regain momentum and commitment to building a sober life?

I don't feel as gung-ho and committed as I did when I quit drinking in early June. Maybe it's just temporary doldrums.

Anyway, I'm committed to staying sober this whole weekend.

Thanks for your replies.

biminiblue

I went through a time where the Pink Cloud had drifted away. It was around three months.

In the second month I felt like I had been born again.

Ups and downs are part of daily life. It doesn't stay static, that's for sure. I have to keep finding new things to do. You will too.

PurpleKnight

I still have days when I don't feel like doing much, I guess that's part of life, striving forward isn't always on the agenda, even for people who never drank!!

What I found after a few months of Sobriety, was one of those "ah ha" moments, when I realised there is a whole lot more to this Sobriety thing than simply not drinking alcohol, I now need to go out and capture and work on what I want from life, new goals, new activities, new projects etc.

But I don't feel like that every day, another 24hrs of Sobriety is the first tick on my to do list every day and then gradually as the weeks go by, as long as I'm making small steps, no matter how small moving forward, I'm content with that!!

I think we need to not be so hard on ourselves, it's all going to take time and life will have good and bad days, some energetic and then days to simply crash in front of the TV, even in Sobriety!!

tnman1967

I think the key is to realize that life will be dull at times and that most people including me that drank did so due to wanting to flee reality. Just accept that not every day will be like the first day sober. It's not easy but I really believe that inner peace and harmony will come if you stay away from the depressant that alcohol really is.

desypete

i dont know if your in aa or not kevin but if you are then aa service work helped me feel a lot more useful, i was about 2 years off the drink and getting a bit fed up of it all

the old timers kicked me into service work and i never looked back since as there is always something to do in aa or people to help etc the rewards it gives me as a person are huge, others in service work will totaly understand what i mean as it really did start to show me how selfish i was in my daily living as i wouldnt do anything for aa or anyone else really other than give out fancy words that i had managed to find trying to impress the old timers with how wise i was lol

they could see right through me and i am really grateful for it today but wasn't at the time

of course if your not in aa then how about joining up with some sort of volentry organization ? that might help get you about and feeling better within yourself ?

ESD907

I understand this. Its like, is that all there is? The excitement of quitting is over, all the great changes. Now you have been there, done that. Its just normal life now. Life is not a party. Just give it time to even out, it will. And you will get used to it also. ITS much better sober, never forget that. And good job on the sobriety by the way. (I bet no one ever said good job on being drunk, did they?) ---and to add, its like a lot of people who move to Florida because they had a good few vacations, they get here and after a while realizie you still have the same problems here as in NJ or NY or wherever. Just better weather.

Dee74

Sometimes I felt gung-ho...and crashed and burned later...the last time I quit I had very little energy or spark, but I've made it permanent.

Just keep doing the right thing, stay sober, keep reaching out, keep making thre changes to you life that you need to to stay sober.

You can do this Kevin - try to not over think it

D

Notmyrealname

Do you have projects that you're doing now that you're sober that you can get excited about? Getting sober is a little ho-hum; once you've quit drinking, it's like, "ok - now what?"
But if you're, as you put it, "building a sober life", you're taking advantage of your newfound sobriety and working on patching up the parts you screwed up while you were drinking, and also working on improving your life in other areas -- I think that's what "building a sober life" is all about. That's the part that keeps me excited and consistently invested.

courage2

Forgetful, I was like a wrung-out dishrag for the longest time. Change and renewed interest in recovery has come with adopting new habits, meeting sober people, and learning new things to engage my mind and body. Be patient and open to possibilities that your old self wouldn't have had an interest in. You don't have to have a ton of commitment, just don't drink today, each day. Slowly, a new Kevin will emerge -- & he'll be gung-ho about something old Kevin never dreamed.

ForgetfulKevin

Thanx All for your comments and tips.

Yes, I am putting some time and attention into hobbies and interests that I had neglected. E.g., earlier today I was looking to see what kind of mailers were available for stretched canvases (in the smaller standard sizes) in case I wanted to start selling paintings on Etsy or wherever.

Probably, as many have suggested, I just need some downtime and patience.

Maybe it's a good sign that even though I'm having a low-energy day I'm still spending so much time on SR, letting it weave itself through my brains.

neferkamichael

ForgetfulKevin, I recently read a book called Mastery and it discussed that very issue, explaining that in any endeavor you reach a plateau and it is important to stay on the path and keep working because you will reach another plateau. Learning to appreciate the journey is the key to mastering an objective, rootin for ya. :Egypt:

Nuudawn

Hey Kev...I didn't realize you'd had a slip until your note prompted me to have a look at your threads. I notice in the thread you posted bout your loss of 54 days ..you said you didn't regret having drank?

Why is that? Did it affirm that you did indeed want sobriety? I know back in June I had a one day relapse after 3 weeks sobriety..and that slip made me realize I wanted sobriety more than anything.

How do you feel bout sobriety my friend? Is it something you want?

ForgetfulKevin

Sorry -- too many questions! I'm turning this over to my press secretary.

Nuudawn

Lol..well, I got my eye on you now buster : )

(without those answers, I don't really know how to help)

mecanix

Kevin ,
Life has it's up's and down's , i think it's important to accept that as part of the deal with sobriety , some of it will be dull and boring … but that is a motivator to do something with oneself other than become even more passive in life by doing things like drink and drugs .

For myself i come here and read what the newcomers have to say about the drinking experience to remind myself how grim, how baffling and mad that life can be .

Focus hard on the negatives of a drinking life and focus hard on the positives of a sober life . Every time your brain puts a positive spin on drink reel off at least 5 reasons its a bad idea , slowly your brain will do it automatically and you kinda forget any supposed positives and there is only the negatives , which suits me fine

I honestly can't think why i did it nowadays , it seems such an odd thing to have got sucked into for 20 years ….

If the anonymity thing is getting a bit much i'm sure SR will let you change your username and you can always say your from canada then or something
My life is so kinda regular and not terribly thrilling that anyone stalking me would just be bored to tears i'm sure , which is fine as far as I'm concerned .

Bestwishes, m

afloatsober

Kevin
Gung ho, PAWS,pink clouds and feelings of euphoria were all features of my 1 to 6 month stage.
They pass and then the business of sobriety can appear a bit mundane and the coat feels like it don't fit.
This is the time when i was encouraged to move on yet again, making changes where needed and trying to reach out to others suffering this malady.
And gradually the coat felt like it fit better again.
Above all it served me well to be (and FEEL) grateful that i had moved on from that dark place of drinking, despair and utter hopelessness.
Keep trudging my friend until you realize your jogging again!
G

ForgetfulKevin

Well you *could* share what works or has worked for you.

Q&A Time:

Do I want sobriety? No, not really. Well, maybe a little. Could be.

Do I want to be that guy [who drinks], living that way for the rest of my life? No, not really.

Do I want the consequences that go along with drinking? No, not really.

sparklingwater

Hi Kevin! We joined the same time and if I remember correctly, our sobriety dates were maybe a day apart at best.

I started exercising when I quit drinking and for me, that has been a huge help in my transformation. Do you exercise? I find I get a "high" from exercise that beats my "high" I used to get from alcohol any day hands down.

This might be unpopular, but I stepped away from these boards for a bit because I felt I was preoccupied too much on drinking. Hopefully that doesn't offend anyone I do think these boards certainly serve a purpose (I'm still here!!!) but there was point I was feeling a little burnt out and I needed to step away. Now when I think about drinking, I make an effort to just stop and think about something else. It sounds crazy (and almost too simple), but it's working for me so far.

Hang in there!

ForgetfulKevin

Hi, sparklingwater! Yes, I do exercise (when I remember to get away from the internet and do it) and I ride a bicycle at least a mile or two almost every day. I'm slightly feeble but rebuilding.

I'm not sure I should pursue a substitute high in my case, as pursuing a high is the seed at the root of my drinking problem. Probably better for me to change the whole template and pursue a feeling of health and strength. Someday soon I will be a toned and sleek fitness model.

I know what you mean about too much time on SR possibly meaning too much time still spent thinking about drinking. Everyone has to find their balance between beneficial and harmful amounts of SR.

Along those lines I've been thinking that maybe sometimes the AV gets too much attention in discussion and we need to focus more on cultivating and reinforcing the Sober Voice and the Sober Enactor. Which sounds like what you are doing!

sparklingwater

Maybe your drinking problem was caused by drinking itself? Not sure if that's something you've considered but it may be just that simple.

I get what you're saying about substituting one "high" for another, but I personally don't see a problem with it. Exercise makes me feel good all day and there is no guilt about it- in fact, total opposite of drinking which made me feel great for a few hours and later, like crap.