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Class of August 2014 Part 2

Old 08-16-2014, 08:24 PM
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I think our recovery lies in what we do sonrisa - you stared down the challenge and won - that's awesome! :co14:

D
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:27 PM
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Day 0! So irritated. Mother in law came in town. Had invited herself a while bk this wknd- my husbands bday is tmrw. Entertained her last night- was at baseball game (again) for her. Didn't drink. Today entertained her n drove all over. Came home n they both took nap- not me! Had to make guachanole for the party. She just wanted to see him not me. Felt lonely, upset, and tired. Had big glass o wine at party. But stopped n ended up driving us home cuz hub had 3 drinks. I wish I cld have told her- u can't come out... It's too early in my sobriety. But oh well. How would I have avoided that? It's my fault. I'm mad at myself for caving! Night all. Xo
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Old 08-16-2014, 10:13 PM
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I'm a little late checking in for yesterday... Sowwy... :-(

I am now 3 days sober, starting day 4. It doesn't sound like much, even to me, but it is a start. Day 3 was a reasonably good day. My partner and I went out for a drive to the mountains, which was really nice. The temperature drops about 10c, which in this heat is really refreshing. We got to sit in a cloud for a while... That was weird, but awesome. I've been really struggling with anxiety and panic attacks the last few days but it helped to talk to my GF about it a bit. I'm making an appointment with my GP as well to see if she has any advice for me.

Back at work today... Let's hope this is a good day too!

Lots of love xx
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Old 08-17-2014, 02:31 AM
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I am ashamed to say it but I caved yesterday, I think I knew I would all along.

I also see a few us are having to start over, but I say this to those who are sticking it out, please don't think it's ok, you can just start again the next day.

After 8 hours sleep I have still woke feeling ashamed, depressed, full of regret. My insides are hanging on by a thread, dehydrated, headache, stinking breath my tongue is coated with alcohol and nicotine, my eyes are red and my skin is grey. The worst has to be the PARANOIA who did I upset? what did I say ? I can remember everything I never done anything but still worry about what people think. I have already made one apologetic text explaining why I left so abruptly.

It is never worth it!!!!

Where do I go from here? No idea
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Old 08-17-2014, 02:47 AM
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I relapsed a lot of times in social occasions :

I'd look at that link I posted to you Maggie - the more strategies you have, the less reason there is to fall back on the same old same old

Look at your support too - I had to ask myself if I had enough, and whether I was using the support I had effectively.

I also had to look at my lifestyle too - I kept putting myself in dangers way and hanging around drinkers who kept pressuring me to join in...and then wondering why I drank ...I made a commitment not to be around alcohol until I was sure I could resist any social pressure.

D
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Old 08-17-2014, 04:38 AM
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Hey Guys,
I hope you all had a great weekend.
I am starting to feel a lot better and more interested in the world around me. I got some work over the weekend which gets me a bit of cash for when my partner gets home next.
I was a bit embarrassed to show her the website here ( sorry guys) but she was very supportive in fact im sure she is one of the guests checking us out occassionally!
I'm starting to work through the spirituality thread and see if there is anything for me.
Whatever it takes.
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Old 08-17-2014, 05:03 AM
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Originally Posted by MaggieLou View Post

I think it's goes without saying if I login in later and report I am still sober that would be amazing, and if I don't log in you know the rest!!
Hey MaggieLou. Jump back on the horse, you posted right after your slip which is great! You can do this.

I saw the post above yesterday and I was so hoping you would post to say you got through....

I have said the same thing before an event, it's like almost admitting defeat before we even get there. A get out of jail free card if you like. The AV is so strong for one person alone. Can you get SR on your phone for next time? You can post away from those events when it's really tough.

Be kind to yourself today
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Old 08-17-2014, 05:07 AM
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Rubbish rubbish weather in the UK today. Boo. I think I will hit an AA meeting this afternoon, rain or not as I will go nuts sitting in my flat with nothing to do. My head is still not in a TV and sofa space to relax as I associate that with drinking until passing out unfortunately.

I have some AA writing work to do but it's making me angry and I threw the notebook across the room just now. Grrr. I think a meeting will help.

Glad SR is here anyway!

Hope everyone has a safe and sober Sunday

#TeamAugust

EDIT:
Quick edit to say I am very lucky and have gratitude that there are so many AA meetings through the day in London. I know some don't have that option. See, mood is lifting already!
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Old 08-17-2014, 06:40 AM
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Good Morning! I know I'm new around here, but to those who are starting over on day 1 or day 2-fantastic! Great job! You came back. Every day counts! Don't get discouraged.

I was thinking the other day about how my drinking had become a compulsion and it reminded me very much of smoking cigarattes. I quit about 8 years ago and there was a lot of stops and starts. But I can't imagine being a smoker now. Being in a room full of smokers doesn't make me want to smoke at all and I don't miss it one bit. But back then, it felt as though I was losing my best friend and I felt very awkward in social situations. There was an adjustment period. But never taking another puff really did make a difference to my life and my health and the effort I put into quitting definately paid off. Quitting drinking will also pay off-big time! No doubt about it. But it might not be easy.

Last night was my husband's and my "big night out", a plan that had been made 6 months ago. The kids went up to their grand parents for the weekend and we worked around the house and planned to have a special dinner out. It was such a great feeling to put on a nice dress and take some time for myself that, for once, didn't include numbing myself. After dinner, we went for a nice long drive and went home to watch a movie. This was a huge victory for me. Going out with my friends or going to a restaurant or bar isn't a big trigger for me, but spending time with my husband has been the biggest trigger over the years. I constantly think that we'll grow apart or he won't love me if we don't drink together. But self love and confidence are attractive, too, I found. I put some extra thought into conversation topics so that our night would be interesting to both of us. Now I can remember what happened last night, and I'm not losing today to a hangover. Woooooo!

Have a great day and keep up the good work!!!
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Old 08-17-2014, 06:46 AM
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Great plan sthlondonab!

I have one week today! I can hardly believe it. i had so many day 1's in the last few months. Going to celebrate by reading my new mystery novels an eating good food all day. Already decided that if I start to feel deprived or have any thoughts or cravings at all that I'm treating myself to gelato! There is a great place a block away from me that makes amazing gelato and sorbetto. They are kinda expensive but then I think about how much money I spent on booze!

During the day yesterday I planned out getting a big salad and taking a long walk to the beach. It was wonderful. I was lying in the sun sober and not hungover thinking life doesn't get any better than this.

Last night I had a chill night. Just made a parsley salad and drank Fresca all night. Read a fantastic mystery novel...finished it in one day. That never happened when I was drinking!

Planning out the details of my day is really helping me. Especially making some big changes in daily habits and routines. I haven't had cravings but had some fleeting annoying AV thoughts but I just kept thinking "I don't drink. I don't want to drink. I'm not going to drink". It's easier for me now that I am deciding I don't drink instead of feeling like I can't drink and fighting it.

Hugs to all of you! If you fell just get back on the horse and do this because you are worth it!
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Old 08-17-2014, 06:52 AM
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Jumping in and joining this class today to hold myself more accountable. I've joined three or four others over the years, but haven't ever made it long enough to make it a year. I'm hoping this time's the charm.

In a nutshell, I've been here since 2006 and am happy with my progress since then. With the help of a great therapist, SR, self reflection and time, I've learned to be so much happier and content. And although I can go long stretches of time without abusing alcohol now, I don't like the fact that I still end up turning to it whenever my life starts getting crazy.

I still reread my old posts to remind myself just how low booze can take me, and know that remaining vigilant is the only answer. Those days were really bad.

I look forward to getting to know you guys!
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Old 08-17-2014, 06:55 AM
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Originally Posted by sthlondonab View Post
Rubbish rubbish weather in the UK today. Boo. I think I will hit an AA meeting this afternoon, rain or not as I will go nuts sitting in my flat with nothing to do. My head is still not in a TV and sofa space to relax as I associate that with drinking until passing out unfortunately.

I have some AA writing work to do but it's making me angry and I threw the notebook across the room just now. Grrr. I think a meeting will help.

Glad SR is here anyway!

Hope everyone has a safe and sober Sunday

#TeamAugust

EDIT:
Quick edit to say I am very lucky and have gratitude that there are so many AA meetings through the day in London. I know some don't have that option. See, mood is lifting already!
I hear you about the weather....I wonder if that's it for us this year?! We can't complain really because we have had a good summer for us. That said, it is still August so I hope we get a couple more weeks of sun but I doubt it somehow. I only got to enjoy the weather when I stopped drinking and started doing more so I really feel I've missed out. Oh well, time to dig out my jumpers. Happy Sunday, you are doing great with all the meetings. I've not yet made it to one and there are 3 within walking distance from my house....shame on me!
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Old 08-17-2014, 07:16 AM
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Felt good to wake up on my 4th morning without a hangover. So that makes today 5 once I get through it. This will be the longest stretch I've had in at least a couple months. I'm working today and need to make decent money so cross your fingers for me! Actually I need to hop in the shower but I wanted to check in here first. Have a good day everyone... later!
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Old 08-17-2014, 07:43 AM
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congrats grateful!! that is awesome!! and i love your plans for today!
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Old 08-17-2014, 07:47 AM
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Good morning everyone. . I joined sr in April and had about six weeks of sobriety. Unfortunately I started drinking again but I want to stop. So today is my Day 1 again and I wanted to see if I could join up here in the august group. Thanks everyone. I look forward to getting to know all of you.

Cristina
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Old 08-17-2014, 08:03 AM
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Day 1 for me today.
I pray it's the last. Alcohol isn't worth it.
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Old 08-17-2014, 08:35 AM
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For those who are back to day 1, you are back on the right path! Welcome home!! You can and WILL do this!! Keep coming for support I know I could not do it without the support!

I am starting on day 6 here and it is a Happy Sunday morning. Grateful to wake up to a hang-over-free regret-free morning. I can get used to this !!
I have another powerful tool I wanted to share. I play out in my mind what it would have been like last night if I had drank and how absolutely wretchedly miserable I would feel today and for the next many many days and then I snap back to reality which is that I did not drink and I am so proud and feel empowered and regret-free and healthy and energetic and ready to tackle the day with a smile. Powerful stuff!!!
Thanks so much for your support I know I can't let my guard down. We can and WILL do this ! One day at a time!! Love you all !!! Go #TeamAugust !!!!
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Old 08-17-2014, 08:45 AM
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Pushed through and made it to Day 10. Very happy and proud of myself. Wasn't easy, but I did it
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Old 08-17-2014, 08:46 AM
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(((ChickChick))) Good for you for posting again. I was too embarrassed to post that I had slipped a few months ago but that just made it easier for me to keep drinking. So proud of you for your honesty. Today is a new day.

Thanks Penkins! What are your plans for the day?

I am avoiding social situations so I guess I'm isolating a little but my main priority is to just NOT DRINK today. I am trying to go against my usual MO and keep it simple. I may go for a bike ride; it's abnormally cool here in the Chi today.

If you are struggling, try to treat yourself in other ways and post away here...if it is urgent then post in the Newcomers to Recovery section to get a more immediate response or go to the chat room (I haven't been able to use it but heard it helps).

Smash that AV!

We can do this together TeamAugust!
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Old 08-17-2014, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Sonrisa12 View Post
Pushed through and made it to Day 10. Very happy and proud of myself. Wasn't easy, but I did it
Yeah you did! Congrats on day 10 Sonrisa!
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