I failed. Disgusted. Ashamed. Sad. Sorry everyone on this thread. Just sorry.

Day 7. Slept well. Glad to see most still on the horse..and those that fell off who came right back. Good on you! :) u can still get two weeks in!

You did the right thing coming here and opening up about your relapse. Think about what happened and how you convinced yourself it would be ok to drink. Also think about how alcohol has made you feel. Try not to be sad. Pick yourself up and start again! We are all here for you. You are not the first to relapse and sadly you won't be the last. We have all been where you are right now. Don't be ashamed, be proud that you are going to kick alcohols butt! Welcome back and keep posting it helps. Type what you feel before drinking so others can help you. Post all day if you have to.

You came back RaggleTaggle- that's the main thing, im coming up to the end of day one and know every hour that passes sober alcohol loses its grip on me, Ive come back more times than a boomerang here and Im glad I have I want sobriety and Im more desperate for that than anything- we're not failures- we're back trying that's more important than the past. Early few days are hardest but we'll get through them and keep strong when our brains forget how bad these anxiety ridden days are- that's where Ive slipped up again in the past.

Hey all

Day 14 and I am exhausted this evening

I had a good day today. AA meetings, sponsor work and some great walking in the sunshine through Central London. It was great to take in the amazing buildings, do some people watching and look up for once! Rather than being in a bar looking at a pint or my living room with a bottle.

Great you went to the meeting 1step

Welcome back raggletaggle - you can do this. The main thing is you are back. Keep posting.

Watching some football before sleep. I had a nap earlier which seems to have ruined the pattern I was getting into, but my sleep is much more restful

#TeamAugust - thanks for this one Cutengay - I recite this one to keep the AV at bay.

Gave in today, so I guess tomorrow will be Day 1 again...

Have some low-dose valium to help, but I am so scared of that stuff I am only going to use it if absolutely necessary to sleep a bit.

The trembling bothers me the most; any suggestions?

Determined to get my sobriety back. Life without it is pure h**l. So stupid of me to EVER open that door again.

Hey Rainstorm I'm right there with you. I'm back at day 1. I'm down on myself pretty hard today, but trying to move past it. No point in going back, what's done is done. But I know how you are feeling. I don't know what to do for the shakes, I never got them. I'm sure someone else here will be able to give you some advice. Looking for new strategies the next time I want to drink, and I know there will be a next time. Cheer up if you can, and focus on tomorrow. :hug:

dingodog, I still stuck with my plan to do something good today that will make my life better tomorrow (of course the best thing I could have done was not drink) but still, doing something (anything) that will make me feel better about myself tomorrow will help.

What I really hate is that sinking feeling that I f**ed up. At least when I can't sleep in the middle of the night I can think: well yes, I DID do "this one good thing". It helps.

We can't really expect perfection, but we can aim to do "better". Somehow, I find that doing anything toward that end will make tomorrow a possibility for Day 1. ...at least that is how I did it before. So I have hope for tomorrow. We are not "bad" people, we just have a condition that once we take that first drink all bets are off...at least for me the rest of the day is about "obsessing", if not actually drinking.

I woke up this morning feeling fine, so why did I tempt fate? I dunno, but I DO know once I have that first drink it starts an awful progression that only seems to end with the end of the day.

Hoping that tomorrow will be different, for you, and me, and anyone trying for Day 1.

welcome back dingodog, raggletaggle and Rainstorm :)

The hardest thing for me to learn was to reach out for help - especially when my addiction convinced me I didn't care, I wasn't worth the effort, it was too hard, it was unfair I couldn't drink, it was all futile anyway, or whatever.

Those are the times I had to really reach down deep into myself and pull out the real me, with the real desire for change.

You can do this guys - one battle is not the war. Regroup, recover, and re-strategise :)

D

Hi guys, a lot of us seem to be in the same boat with the day 1 anxiety its past midnight here now and that feeling of my mind not switching off is disturbing but it will pass, was talking to a friend before whose at the 3month stage, she actually was thinking of having a wine earlier but when I reminded her how bad it is on day one especially if you've been on it a few days or weeks, she changed her mind and remembered that last day drinking when she couldn't walk through weakness but was still begging her family for more alcohol. WHY do we forget how bad it gets?

My sister called before and I could tell by her voice that understandably shes tired of it all and worried, why, why, why? Would you even consider a drink when you know how bad the comedown is? She asked, couldn't answer that one its the insanity of the first one that gets us and like rainstorm has said all bets are off after that.

Exactly this time last week I was sleeping ..hungover ..feelin like I got hit by a truck. And that lasted until Tuesday. Today I've been out running errands n I'm watching Honey Boo Boo eating candy and drinking soda feelin amazing. I lost a week of life really 4 drinking 3 recovering. It's sad. And it's happened multiple times. Who knows how many months of quality life it's been. U know? I'm grateful for today.

Hi all. Super busy day. Glad to say it is a sober one! Closing out day 5 here. Went to a F2F (face-to-face) LifeRing meeting today it was a 20 minute drive but well worth the drive. Sometimes it is nice to be in a room of like minded people with the same goals!
Need to catch up on posts here but just wanted to check in and say my thoughts are with you all ! Happy sober Saturday! See you tomorrow hang-over free and regret free :) Go #TeamAugust !!!! :ring

The point is you are back in the right place Raggle welcome back you CAN do this !!

ending day 11 sober. sad and lonely. fight w husband. but i stayed sober. yeah me

Day 1. That's all. Will record thoughts later.

Closing up day 4. To those back on one, I believe in you! Onward!

way to go penkins :)

RaggleTaggle, there's no point in beating yourself up too much. What's done is done - too much self loathing will only drive you back to the bottle.

Think about what happened this time and how you might handle it differently now...that a way better use of your energy I think.

Forgive yourself and move on :)

D

Huge sober victory Penkins congratulations !! Imagine how much worse that fight would have been if you were drinking! Huge WIN !! :c011:

Visiting family and I open the fridge downstairs and recall there is still beer in there that I bought a few months ago. I just stare at it. My usual MO would be TO be on my 4th beer right about now. And I'm not going to lie - its mighty hard that its down there, almost waiting for me to grab it and drink it away. As I shut the fridge door I said out loud, Im stronger than this. But its not easy tonight. Its how I deal with stress when I am visiting family because it is just that - VERY stressful. So I am drinking sparkling water and on the forums to help me push through. I know I can do it but man, its not easy tonight. Bed in 1/2 an hour and I'm not tired. But I am going to try to get to sleep anyway. Goodnight Day 9. Tomorrow will be Day 10 and I'm determined to get there.

Sonrisa so glad you checked in I know that helps a lot we are here for you !! Have a restful night. Hugs, Chris