zeldachan

Hitting 57 days here and it is not getting any easier.

I went to a party on the Fourth of July with friends who would not take my no for an answer. They would shove alcohol in my hands which I would dump down the sink. Tomorrow is their wedding reception and I am worried about the drinking culture. I told my boyfriend that I did not want to go because I felt imperiled. He said I was being a baby and that I can totally handle it.

But I don't know! What to do?

SoberComposer

Wow, they don't sound like they understand the seriousnes if your situation considering that they were nearly forcing you to drink. Maybe you can try to have another conversation with your boyfriend so that he can understand. Hopefully he can.

least

I wouldn't go. They don't sound much like friends to me.

Dee74

Stand by your gut reaction.

That's not 'being a baby' its being a responsible adult.

D

ReadyAtLast

I wouldn't go. There is no such thing as people not taking no for an answer. You are an adult-they do not control you and cannot make you go.You are allowed to say no and do what you must do to protect your sobriety.

PurpleKnight

I would give it a miss, nothing changes if nothing changes, with the same people at the 4th of July as this wedding, why would the outcome be any different?!!

Do what you gotta do to protect your Sobriety!!

trachemys

Don't go. Not going may convince some of your seriousness.

zeldachan

Thank you. I think I am going to be drastic and not show up as many of you suggested. I'm going to **** people off, but oh well. If they can't get behind my sobriety they aren't really my friends right? I'm at least going to the ceremony but will bug out after cocktail hour.

ccam1973

Good choice and I agree with others, just don't go. You will be happier that you didn't have to fight that battle.

Would hope your BF would be more supportive of you. This is a serious and tough addiction to say the least!!

Good luck, we are here for you.

Meraviglioso

Hang on to your sobriety with all your might. I have learned this the hard way. I was doing grand at 13 days, then decided to "stop by" a birthday party "just to say hi" and ended up 4, 5, 6 glasses of wine deep. I immediately went back to being sober. Yesterday, after posting riduculous amounts of "oh I feel great, i am so determined this time!! *smily face smily face rah rah rah*" I called a guy I needed to pay for some gardening work. He told me he was at the little bar in my neighborhood and I could stop by there. I knew it was a bad idea, but I went anyway and sure enough he offered me a glass of wine and I accepted. At that point I thought, "well, I've ruined it for today, might as well have at it" and did just that. I cannot tell you what a complete and total failure I feel like today. This has really knocked the wind out of my sails. But it was my own mistake, fully earned, because I did not take the correct steps to stay sober.

SoberComposer

That's what dating is about too. Determining who you want to invest more time/life with. Standing behind your decisions allows him to naturally react to you. If he doesn't respect you then you may have an answer for this particular gent.

Nuudawn

That's your Higher Power right there honey. That's the fine, wise Zelda right there..who knows what's best for Zelda.

So very glad to read you are honouring yourself by not going. You have betrayed yourself in drunkeness long enough. We all have.

Hobbers

I think I would agree with the others here- if your friend group simply cannot/will not understand that 'no means no', than really... are they any different than some guy trying to take advantage of you? And what kind of a friend does that make them?

I'd avoid the reception. Go to the wedding (if you were invited, /wink!) but go home afterwards. Or, better yet, go OUT and do something fun, and sober.

Gronk

You could go to both......if you insist. With a sparkling water that looks like a drink in your hand, walk around and have a quick discussion with EVERYBODY. Then like you said, bug out quietly......people will assume you are there someplace...........

Anna

He doesn't sound like a friend to me.

You need to do hat is right for you.

bobquin

As others have already said here, you need to do what's right for you, zelda.

In the first couple months of my sobriety, I made the mistake of assuming that I had no choice but to put myself into any precarious drinking-related situation with the obligation to "work it out" on my own, or "white knuckle it" and hope for the best.

Since then, I've learned that any "friend" who feels compelled to even remotely question my reasons to not drink or, even worse, actually PUTS a drink in my hand, is absolutely no friend at all. And if I'm uncomfortable about any gatherings/public events because alcohol may be present, I simply avoid them. Thankfully, my husband supports me fully and does not question my motives for vetoing plans or events, etc.

I've learned that my sobriety is MINE. Nobody can take it away, and only I am able to give it away. And that's just not gonna happen.

Best of luck to you...keep leaning on us for support!