mapp

Well, after almost 7 days, I relapsed yesterday. It so wasn't worth it. Let myself and everyone else down. Starting again today. The support of SR has been wonderful, and I'm going to use it to the fullest. I want this!

mapp

So much going on in my head right now, that I can't compose my thoughts. I'm just reading everyone's posts to try to stay focused.

mapp

I see my therapist this afternoon. Hoping that provides some perspective.

ccam1973

Mapp, most if not all of us have been where you are at right now. I know i have many times after trying to quit. Don't beat yourself up, but make it happen this time.

You wrote that it was so not worth it... that's great, because it's not.

Try to use the strength in your 7 sober days to make the change for good. 7 days is great and you made it through the first hurdle and for me, those are the toughest days.

Can't ever let your guard down though.

Figure out what triggered your drinking and make plans to change your pattern.

Best of luck!

mapp

Ccam, thank you for your supportive words. I believe I know my trigger - unemployment. I lost my job of 19 years in December, because of drinking. Without the structure and focus of work, not to mention anxiety about lack of money, I fall into drinking.

I'm thinking of maybe starting a thread about employment, and job search. Perhaps others have overcome the hurdle of job loss and were able to come back and find employment again...

Bailey3

Keep reading the threads. I do. It keeps me focused and moving forward.

doggonecarl

You lost your job because of drinking. So if you hadn't lost your job, chances are you'd still be drinking. So the unemployment/drinking connection is questionable, in my opinion.

But it's a good reason to drink. I had lots of reasons to drink. And if I didn't have any reasons, I still drank. Alcoholics drink. Period.

Sobriety isn't contingent on your job status. But steady employment is 100% contingent on your sobriety.

Good luck.

mapp

Jsm, I've spent the better part of the last few days just reading posts. Even if I do nothing else, it's at least doing something t keep me focused. I think relapse yesterday may have been much worse if I hadn't come back here

mapp

Very, very wise words doggonecarl. I hadn't thought of the connection in the way you framed it. Thank you. I will not find or keep a job if I continue to drink.

PurpleKnight

Go at things again!! You can do this!!

mapp

Hi PK....thank you! I started a thread called World of Work,hopefully will hear others',stories about getting back out there in the working world. I want to be,productive, useful, contributing my share, and a positive role model for my 2 wonderful boys.

four812

Hi map

Great job on 7 days
Great job being open to help.

You can do this and you will do this

Hopefully you had your last drink, but if you continue to struggle keep coming back. And if you continue to stay clean keep coming back too!