Not the one recovering, but helping one do so.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Staten Island, NY
Posts: 4
Not the one recovering, but helping one do so.
Hello everyone. I am 19 years old and I have been dating an amazing man for almost 4 years now. He has been abusing pills( xanax and percocets mostly ) since his early teens. Pills and other types of drugs. He has been to detoxification twice before meeting me. We met and he has had his flare ups with drugs, but it just recently got worse. This includes locking himself in my bathroom and looking for drugs. We got in a fight because I did something wrong (not drug or alcohol related) and he said it caused him to relapse on suboxone. Which he was previously prescribed. He told me and his mother about it and went to meetings for it. Then he went on vacation for 2 weeks (he was doing great) and when he came back, all hell started. He was buying pot and xanax. I could track him so I knew when he was buying drugs and everything. I went to his house to find him high and pilled up passing out in his bed. His parents stayed on vacation and just returned and I have told them about the whole situation in fear of him overdosing and they are sending him to rehab. It is going to be roughly 45 days of inpatient rehab where they will have independence such as food shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. I am happy for him but sad that hes going to be gone. Sometimes I feel its my fault that he gets angry, but I don't think its my fault that he uses. His mother for once was being really nice to me and supportive of us both which really surprised me.
On top of everything, my mother is married to an alcoholic. He leaves us to drink once a month and quits every job he has. Living with both at the same time is a nightmare, but sort of a lesson. I sometimes take it personal when they both go off, but my mother teaches me to realize its their fault and their problem, and at some points the drug is a higher being than us to them.
To clarify, I have never done drugs or drank in my life. So I am, in no way, supporting or triggering either in that way.
On top of everything, my mother is married to an alcoholic. He leaves us to drink once a month and quits every job he has. Living with both at the same time is a nightmare, but sort of a lesson. I sometimes take it personal when they both go off, but my mother teaches me to realize its their fault and their problem, and at some points the drug is a higher being than us to them.
To clarify, I have never done drugs or drank in my life. So I am, in no way, supporting or triggering either in that way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
A very smart young lady! I am the recovering alcoholic, and I know I wouldn't be recovering without the help and support of my wife! Hopefully things will work out for you and you seem to have a great support system with your mom and now SR! Welcome......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Staten Island, NY
Posts: 4
:)
Great to hear that a significant other can help one recover. I am really willing to help him because when he is sober, he is a dream to be around. My mom is being supportive but she keeps deeming him as unsafe to be around, but I hope when he returns her opinion will change
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
First off YOU are not responsible for HIS addiction, he makes the choice to fuel his addiction and you are not at fault in any of this!!
The important thing when looking in on someone else's addiction is to get support for you, you'll find loads of support here on SR, we also have a friends and family section, which might also be worth checking out!!
But don't let your own life pass you by waiting for an addict to sort themselves out, if he does then great, but what if he doesn't?
It's great to have you here on the Forum!!
First off YOU are not responsible for HIS addiction, he makes the choice to fuel his addiction and you are not at fault in any of this!!
The important thing when looking in on someone else's addiction is to get support for you, you'll find loads of support here on SR, we also have a friends and family section, which might also be worth checking out!!
But don't let your own life pass you by waiting for an addict to sort themselves out, if he does then great, but what if he doesn't?
It's great to have you here on the Forum!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Staten Island, NY
Posts: 4
:d
Thank you for the warm welcome. I really appreciate it. I am somewhat confident that he will learn his lesson this time, he never had a wake up call like this. He hit rock bottom IMO. I will definitely check out that section. I also want to look how rehab will be for him. His mom said it will be around 45 days
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
Welcome to the Forum!!
First off YOU are not responsible for HIS addiction, he makes the choice to fuel his addiction and you are not at fault in any of this!!
The important thing when looking in on someone else's addiction is to get support for you, you'll find loads of support here on SR, we also have a friends and family section, which might also be worth checking out!!
But don't let your own life pass you by waiting for an addict to sort themselves out, if he does then great, but what if he doesn't?
It's great to have you here on the Forum!!
First off YOU are not responsible for HIS addiction, he makes the choice to fuel his addiction and you are not at fault in any of this!!
The important thing when looking in on someone else's addiction is to get support for you, you'll find loads of support here on SR, we also have a friends and family section, which might also be worth checking out!!
But don't let your own life pass you by waiting for an addict to sort themselves out, if he does then great, but what if he doesn't?
It's great to have you here on the Forum!!
Keep posting and ask questions if you have some - there are many wise old owls lurking in the trees on SR!
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