Back to feeling grand!
 

Good morning sober friends. It is a grey, muggy morning here but I woke up feeling great and sober. On to day 2 here. I can't wait to stack up the days like last time and then of course go beyond.
I won't go as far as to say my relapse was a good idea. The best idea is obviously nor drinking. However, this one happened after a nice, solid sober period. In the past I would just start drinking full on again after 1 or 2 days. This time I had the opportunity to see a glimpse of what sober life offers. I also had the opportunity to evaluate what being drunk feels like and what having a hangover feels like with a fresh perspective. I had been living in a constant state of drunkeness/hangover so that was kind of baseline for me. After 12 days sober getting drunk was a shock and the hangover the next day was frightening.
Last time I came on here and quit I had all the resolve in the world. This time I have all that resolve and peace. Previously I had accepted that I was an alcoholic and accepted that I had to fight this with all my might. Now I have accepted I am an alcoholic and no longer think of it as a fight, I just plain give up. I don't want to fight anymore. I am at peace. I cannot drink, I never will again. I mourned this loss last time, but this time I feel happy to shed that weight and just get on with things.
I know that my moods will change, I will have ups and downs and challenges and temptations and cravings. But for now, for the past days I have felt great and I want to enjoy this peace I feel until the storm comes. I know it will. But like they teach you about swimming in the ocean, it is much worse if you flap around and swim strongly and try and fight the current and waves. The safest way out is to relax, save your energy, let the current take you to an opening and then swim your way out calmly when the time is right.

Have a great day everyone. We can do this.

Great post and kudos to you xx

You can do this Meraviglioso!! Keep pushing through!! :)

I learned my lesson- cooking with wine is definitely out of the question. As is having a sip once the bottle is open... Really stupid mistake on my part. One would think that is sobriety 101. Nothing to do but to get back at it. I am so thankful for this site and for every sober day I can have. It really feels great.

Awesome post mera. Glad to hear that you are feeling great. I am also glad to hear your resolve for sobriety

Thanks folks, I appreciate you and this site so much. Had a really good day. Only had one moment of craving but it passed really quickly. I know I just got lucky with that, there will be more challenges ahead, but like I said, it is nice to have some easy wins here and there. I'm off to eat indian food tonight and cannot wait! Oh Italian food, I do love it but I really miss the easy access to a variety of ethnic foods that I had in the US. I have to drive 45 minutes to get there, but it will be worth it. A big, safe plus for me is that I never drank wine with indian food, so that won't be a temptation in the restaurant. Even if it suddenly becomes one (who knows with alcoholism!?!) I won't give in tonight, am enjoying being back to sober way too much. Have a great rest of your days and stay sober friends!

This is an OP you should bookmark, great analogy with ocean swimming :) , just wish 'float' rhymed a little more with 'dont' and 'wont', try not to give in to a potracted battle with urges or cravings, let them come like an ocean current and rest in a 'don't'("I dont drink anymore) or a 'won't'( I won't drink anymore and this shall pass, as if I floated and let it pass)
You got this, great post!!