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-   -   I honestly think I need and deserve a DUI (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/341837-i-honestly-think-i-need-deserve-dui.html)

SpartanGreen 08-12-2014 07:54 PM

I honestly think I need and deserve a DUI
 
- Have at least five years of recognition that I have a serious problem and need to get sober. Check, have that.

- Have a lot of experience driving drunk to get more booze and even driving while drinking, probably over a thousand miles worth. Check, have that.

- Have no wife and kids or immediate family who knows what is going on to hold my problem accountable. Check, have that.

- Have a career that is promising that has seen me take a promotion where I'm due to take another one shortly even though I come in hungover and drive a big truck most days. Check, have that.

I'm honestly sick of the routine, I'm sick of the endless cycle. I'm sick of trying to get sober, going days at a time, and then just giving in because killing an 18 pack on a Friday won't hurt anyone around me. That restarts the cycle.

I need something, I don't know what it is, but I need it.

I quite often wonder if I should drive to the police station, say "hey, I've drank 20 drinks tonight and I drove here, please give me some inspiration to get sober."

SoberHoopsFan 08-12-2014 08:02 PM

I got a DUI and drank for 11 more years. You think it will get you sober, but that has to come from within. The most important thing or event you can have is absolutely wanting to quit, even desperately wanting to quit. You need to change your routine and create a plan to stay sober, or you will continue to get the same results ad nauseum (although the worse consequences are sure to come eventually).

Things will only improve if you quit drinking. They have for me so far.

Dee74 08-12-2014 08:03 PM

I think a lot of people wait for a bottom to happen. I know I did.

That's the dumb way.

The thing is you can really truly and honestly decide to stop - anytime you like.
That decision is your bottom.

That's the smart way.

Noone's saying it's easy - but continuing to drink is not picnic either

Think for a second about the effort it takes to keep drinking and functional.

Why not channel that effort and energy into making the changes that you know you have to make?

Look honestly at what you're doing for your recovery - ask yourself is it enough?

then, if not - why not? :dunno:

D

Altoids 08-12-2014 08:10 PM

It might be better to contact a rehab center instead of the police. You will get the help you need at rehab and safely. And it gives you a jump start into recovery. Well, it did for me.

I hope you choose sobriety. Life is much better on this side of the alcohol nightmare. It ain't perfect, but it is soooo much easier.

Ruby2 08-12-2014 08:17 PM

Well that will not solve the matter considering all the married people with children and jobs who get multiple DUIs. So it isn't a matter of having or not having people to whom you are accountable that will hold your feet to the fire and inspire you to quit drinking. And I think that you know that. If you have never been to jail I don't think you should be contemplating that as a deterrent to quitting.

Have you considered inpatient treatment? Maybe a time out so to speak? Or go sit in a courtroom for a day or two and watch the endless stream of people coming out of lockup for bond hearings to see what a horrible and thankless and soulless process it is getting caught up in the criminal justice system.

Try something less drastic before that. I think you were being facetious but one never knows. It can be done before going to those lengths.

Coldfusion 08-12-2014 08:27 PM

Often part of the sentence for DUI conviction is going to AA meetings and participating in a MADD forum. You could do that without being court-ordered, and might find either one very helpful.

Gronk 08-12-2014 08:37 PM

How is being unemployed going to help you get sober? (driving a truck you say?)

They will NOT give you inspiration to get sober.......they will give you a jail cell, an impounded car, an arraignment, a trial, a sentence, a loss of license, a ton of fines, a pile of legal bills. That sounds like inspiration TOO drink.

Sounds like you are already in the process of finding the only inspiration that will will ever work, inspiring yourself.

By the way.......they will require you to attend meetings. You may find reinforcement for the inspiration you have already shown "I'm honestly sick of the routine, I'm sick of the endless cycle".......but guess what........you could hit one up tomorrow night one your own, don't need help from the police... :)

Verte 08-12-2014 08:50 PM

Way back when, the State of California required the viewing of an autopsy as partial penance by those who received an underage drinking ticket. Hmm.

Baiting the criminal justice system just sounds like it might fuzzy instead of clarify the issue of just needing to remove alcohol and then infuse some good life changes. Maybe talking with a therapist every week would help with accountability?

:grouphug:

SpartanGreen 08-12-2014 09:00 PM


Originally Posted by Gronk (Post 4836984)
How is being unemployed going to help you get sober? (driving a truck you say?)

They will NOT give you inspiration to get sober.......they will give you a jail cell, an impounded car, an arraignment, a trial, a sentence, a loss of license, a ton of fines, a pile of legal bills. That sounds like inspiration TOO drink.

Sounds like you are already in the process of finding the only inspiration that will will ever work, inspiring yourself.

By the way.......they will require you to attend meetings. You may find reinforcement for the inspiration you have already shown "I'm honestly sick of the routine, I'm sick of the endless cycle".......but guess what........you could hit one up tomorrow night one your own, don't need help from the police... :)

I think I'm ready to try a meeting again. I've only ever been to one, was drug there by a fellow addict friend who ended up taking his life not long afterwards. Have been avoiding meetings like the plague because of memories.

If I can find one in my area tomorrow night that starts at 7/8 PM after I've gotten off of work, I will check it out. Not sure if any start that late.

SpartanGreen 08-12-2014 09:02 PM


Originally Posted by LeTheVerte (Post 4836998)
Way back when, the State of California required the viewing of an autopsy as partial penance by those who received an underage drinking ticket. Hmm.

Baiting the criminal justice system just sounds like it might fuzzy instead of clarify the issue of just needing to remove alcohol and then infuse some good life changes. Maybe talking with a therapist every week would help with accountability?

:grouphug:

I would love to speak with a substance abuse specialized psychologist, but I have no health insurance.

SpartanGreen 08-12-2014 09:09 PM


Originally Posted by SpartanGreen (Post 4837008)
I think I'm ready to try a meeting again. I've only ever been to one, was drug there by a fellow addict friend who ended up taking his life not long afterwards. Have been avoiding meetings like the plague because of memories.

If I can find one in my area tomorrow night that starts at 7/8 PM after I've gotten off of work, I will check it out. Not sure if any start that late.

Googled meetings in my area tomorrow and there is one tomorrow at 8 PM at a place literally across the street that I can see from my apartment window. Will give it a run.

OldSkool 08-12-2014 09:11 PM

Spartan, you do not want a DUI I promise
 
I too have logged countless miles drinkin and driving. Its not cool. I used to keep a cooler full in my vehicle constantly. (Much less some of the other stuff I had in there would have put me in jail permanently). Consider this, hurt or kill someone in an accident drunk, jail for life in my state. I definitely deserved a DUI, and when I got it, it was awful. Man you definitely dont want that. Just as a start, I figured mine to cost 10 grand. I hay to pay somebody to take me to work for months. much less the job losses, and opportunites lost. Seek help before it comes to that, and consider yourself lucky. Best wishes.

DefconOne 08-12-2014 09:33 PM

Consider yourself busted. Fill in the ticket and report to 60 AA meetings in 60 days.

http://www.vannoylawoffice.com/wp-co...fic_ticket.png

DragonInTheSky 08-12-2014 09:42 PM

I have gotten two DUIs, and I can tell you, unless they put you on UA's or multiple BA's a day you will probably keep drinking. I did. The only thing that' s gonna stop you from drinking is wanting it bad enough. I had to do BA's once a day for over two years. That didn't stop me. I just went out and bought a breathalyzer of my own to make sure I wouldn't blow hot for a test.

Man, you absolutely 100% do not want to get a DUI on purpose. Don't do that...you will instantly regret it, I guarantee you. If you want to stop it must come from inside you. Nothing, including the law will stop you from drinking - that is unless they lock you up and throw away the key. Which is a very real possibility if you keep on drinking and driving. Eventually the crap is gonna hit the fan... Stop now while you're ahead.

silentrun 08-12-2014 09:49 PM

Are you trying to say that you need someone to force you to start? That has to come from you. You decide when enough is enough. I'm sure you don't want it to come to a DUI or an accident.
I needed accountability when I first quit too. You can get that from other alcoholics be it here or somewhere else.

MelindaFlowers 08-12-2014 09:55 PM

Yeah, you do not want a DUI.

I helped a very close friend through one from when it happened to when he got his license back three years later!.

It cost about $10,000 and was worth about 7,000 headaches. Everything was a headache. It was horrible, rotten, terrible, demeaning, horrible, terrible. I can not describe in words what an atomic bomb on your life a DUI is.

Never, ever, ever, get a DUI!

Jimboagust 08-12-2014 09:55 PM

The idea of "rock bottom" (e.g. DUI) is actually kind of dangerous. I was talking to a guy who had some time in AA and telling him I felt like I hadn't hit rock bottom yet and that I couldn't really get sober until I did. He looked me in the eye and told me: "The only rock bottom is when this thing kills you. You should sober up before that happens."

On top of that, the particular rock bottom you refer to, i.e. drinking and driving, obviously isn't just about you. You could seriously harm someone else, which would be worse than any DUI. You don't want a manslaughter charge to be the reason for finally sobering up.

Anyway, good luck and god bless. AA meetings can really help, but there are a lot of other (inexpensive) resources out there too if that doesn't work.

Gronk 08-12-2014 09:57 PM

Sounds good man, 8 pm tomorrow, check in here at 9:30 and give us an update :)

Elodie 08-13-2014 01:21 AM


I'm due to take another one shortly even though I come in hungover and drive a big truck most days.
This frightens me.

It sounds like you're ready to stop drinking. You don't need a DUI for that.

But if you continue to drink, please don't drive. Please don't put innocent people in harm's way.

PurpleKnight 08-13-2014 03:38 AM

The problem is, even if you had a DUI you'll still be back in the same position trying to be Sober, a few days later and then maybe back to drinking.

As you mention, changing up your plan, meetings, more support, that's what is going to keep you Sober, shock tactics and consequences from my drinking never really worked, I'd forget all about it given enough time!!


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