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I honestly think I need and deserve a DUI

Old 08-13-2014, 03:45 AM
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Originally Posted by SpartanGreen View Post

I quite often wonder if I should drive to the police station, say "hey, I've drank 20 drinks tonight and I drove here, please give me some inspiration to get sober."
I would not recommend the above
although DUI's have helped many to get a good start on their sobriety

if serious and willing
hanging out on this site and possible AA attendance would probably help

MM
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Old 08-13-2014, 03:49 AM
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I reached rock bottom several times. The thing is, I can always get lower than rock bottom if I keep the shovel and jackhammer in the hole. Don't wait on a tragedy to force you into sobriety. There are plenty of people out there with multiple DUIs/OWIs who continue to drink. You only quit drinking when you quit drinking. No one can force you to quit. Only you can decide when you've had enough. Don't wait on other people to make the hard decisions for you. Make them yourself and own them. Sobriety is simple, not easy. Don't wait. Don't wait on an external source to demand your physical sobriety. Call it quits on your own and own your sobriety from the get go.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:02 AM
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DUI's won't stop you.

Losing your job won't stop you.

The only thing that will stop you is you, taking action.

There are several things you can do that are not expensive. Meetings is one of those. You can go to a doctor and explain the situation. I told mine flat out that I was uninsured and needed inexpensive help. He gave me an inexpensive anti-depressant prescription. It's helped a lot. Also, was given a referral to a counselor that I haven't needed yet. And we discussed escalations that could be made if needed. All that cost was an office visit and $1 a day for meds.

Much better than a DUI.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:06 AM
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You only quit drinking when you quit drinking.
Nothing truer has ever been posted. THIS is it.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:26 AM
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sounds like a good idea to me, please do pop along to the police station while full of drink and driving you might just save your life, but it will certainly save the lives of those yet to be hit and knocked over by drink drivers.

i lost my license with drink driving and along with it my business as a truck driver,
then out of work i drank even more and progressed to daily drinking, my future was crushed in my mind as i lost my business
my cash soon ran out and i had in the bank over 100,000 uk pounds, i soon lost it with my drinking and not working so no money coming in it does run out

next to go was my kids as my and the ex wife would have drunken fights as to who is to blame for the mess we were in
we were both daily drinkers by then and the police would be called time and time again
to our domestics
in the end the kids had to be removed from our care
still we carried on drinking, and the police coming around until i ended up going to prison and not just once
they got fed up of seeing me in court with my sad sorry face and fed up of hearing me say i am sorry and i will not do it again, so prison was the only place to send me

i still drank when coming out of prison, my ex wife had affairs and more fights on and on it went until i ended up totaly on my own as the home had gone i had no where to stay coming out of prison and i was lucky to get a hostel run flat

so there i am a 24 / 7 drinker angry at the world as i lost so much, it was everyone else fault so i drank and drank hoping to die
sick and pee all around my disgusting flat, i was on the verge of losing that flat so i would of ended up being homeless

i could go on and on about how this illness destroyed my life, or how at one time i was a pretty ok guy who worked hard for his family until the drink got me etc

the only help i found was in aa i had no money or anything other than a mattress in my flat and the people in aa looked after me so much i owe them everything and the fellowship of aa
today i have my kids back as a single parent dad, i have a home, i have my license back and work again my ex wife is still out there drinking with her drunk partner and me and the kids are just plodding on even losing one of my sons to stomach cancer and having to deal with it all daily etc

all thanks to aa i can do this today and the changes i have had to make in my life and how i live
but number 1 is i dont pick up that first drink no matter what goes on

but if you wish to end up the way i did then please be my guest i wouldnt wish it on my own worse enemy and i hope you can find the help you need so you can avoid it all

you have been very lucky so far as to not lose your license, just how long do you honestly think that luck will carry on for ?

good luck to you
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:02 AM
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I have 2.
trust me when I say you don't want to do this.
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:17 AM
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I was charged over the limit at 7.30am in the morning after a night of drinking. I was mortified.

I would never have done that at night, I was not aware of the dangers that I could still be over the limit the next morning. I was actually picking my car up because I HAD left it the night before as I planned to drink. Caught a taxi home.

Your post upsets me because it sounds like you don't care if you kill and maim someone, innocent people, when driving.

You are wishing to get caught by the cops in the hopes that may motivate you? And what if, on that fateful night, it's not the cops you run into, but someone's wife and children and you kill them? What will you do then? Keep drinking because of all the pain you've caused?
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by SpartanGreen View Post
- Have at least five years of recognition that I have a serious problem and need to get sober. Check, have that.

- Have a lot of experience driving drunk to get more booze and even driving while drinking, probably over a thousand miles worth. Check, have that.

- Have no wife and kids or immediate family who knows what is going on to hold my problem accountable. Check, have that.

- Have a career that is promising that has seen me take a promotion where I'm due to take another one shortly even though I come in hungover and drive a big truck most days. Check, have that.

I'm honestly sick of the routine, I'm sick of the endless cycle. I'm sick of trying to get sober, going days at a time, and then just giving in because killing an 18 pack on a Friday won't hurt anyone around me. That restarts the cycle.

I need something, I don't know what it is, but I need it.

I quite often wonder if I should drive to the police station, say "hey, I've drank 20 drinks tonight and I drove here, please give me some inspiration to get sober."
hey there fellow Michigander..... trust me, you don't WANT a DUI. I've had two and they are events that will haunt you for many years in many ways.

you have already got the insight that a DUI gives you.... you're just fortunate beyond expression that it hasn't caught up with you and you haven't had to deal with the consequences.

SO.......

GO TO AA

COMMIT TO SOBRIETY

GIVE THIS A SHOT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

You don't need to go through the agony of a DUI - or worse the agony of a life after you've killed someone - you can choose this NOW.
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:47 AM
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I appreciate your honesty. However, if going to the police will get you off the road, I would like you to do it. You drive for a living, you are going to kill innocent people. It make not get you sober, but if it will get you off the road, that's what you should do.....Saying a prayer for ya, I know the suffering you are in.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:32 AM
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I thank God I didn't kill anyone while
driving drunk going up the interstate
that wrong way, racing, just because
I felt cocky, invensible, better or bigger
than Thou.

No, I never got a DWI during my drinking
career, but I did want to get off the merry
go round of insanity of trying to stop drinking
on my own and couldn't.

Thank God I didn't KILL someone and
spending life in prison or living with the
thought I took a life, an innocent person
from their family because of my stupidity,
arrogance.

To live with that kind of guilt and drinking
would surely be my own slow suicide.

Im not cocky today knowing I drank
many times and didn't get a DWI. Learning
to live with graditude, recovery, Faith,
keeps me grounded and in my place.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:59 AM
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We can only pray you don't kill or mame an innocent while you are driving drunk. DUIs are fixable killing someone is not. I live in MI and I hope we are never on the road at the same time.

Get the help you need while there is still time
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:12 AM
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I have been convicted of 2 DUI's and went to jail for the second one. Yes I totally deserved it. I am very very grateful I didn't hurt any innocent people, and it is a relief I currently don't have a license, and I don't want one again until I can trust myself 110%. However, before both DUI's I knew it was going to happen, I had a gut feeling. If I could go back in time and LISTEN to that feeling and sober and smarten up before the first one, I would. Sounds like you may be having the same feeling. Listen to it! And get some help for yourself.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by SpartanGreen View Post
- Have at least five years of recognition that I have a serious problem and need to get sober. Check, have that.

- Have a lot of experience driving drunk to get more booze and even driving while drinking, probably over a thousand miles worth. Check, have that.

- Have no wife and kids or immediate family who knows what is going on to hold my problem accountable. Check, have that.

- Have a career that is promising that has seen me take a promotion where I'm due to take another one shortly even though I come in hungover and drive a big truck most days. Check, have that.

I'm honestly sick of the routine, I'm sick of the endless cycle. I'm sick of trying to get sober, going days at a time, and then just giving in because killing an 18 pack on a Friday won't hurt anyone around me. That restarts the cycle.

I need something, I don't know what it is, but I need it.

I quite often wonder if I should drive to the police station, say "hey, I've drank 20 drinks tonight and I drove here, please give me some inspiration to get sober."
See? You're not all bad - you joined and posted on SR BEFORE you hit and killed someone
SO - now you've made the first stop and Kudos for doing so! SO many people don't realise or want to deal with a problem My partner is an ex cop and the things he had to deal with are horrendous.
x
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:21 AM
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yup, I just finished my jail last weekend for the 2nd one (5yrs apart) ...and while I may have not done "hard time in the pen"...jail is jail.
I am grateful that I didn't harm or even kill someone, myself included. Although, the former is the one that I am MOST grateful for. How the hell could I live with myself if I had taken someone(s) from their families all b/c I was DRUNK?? I couldn't. I already know what would have happened. I'd make sure I wasn't here b/c the pain of that would be unbearable.

Your post is a concerning. You drive a truck for a living. I pray you don't choose too late to fix this issue. You can't bring back the dead.
Please, seek some help.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Windancer View Post
I have been convicted of 2 DUI's and went to jail for the second one. Yes I totally deserved it. I am very very grateful I didn't hurt any innocent people, and it is a relief I currently don't have a license, and I don't want one again until I can trust myself 110%. However, before both DUI's I knew it was going to happen, I had a gut feeling. If I could go back in time and LISTEN to that feeling and sober and smarten up before the first one, I would. Sounds like you may be having the same feeling. Listen to it! And get some help for yourself.
I won't be driving again for at LEAST 4 to 5 years, I'll be in my mid 40's by then. Honestly, I may not even bother.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:27 AM
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I heard a story the other day of a 22 year old man who died of liver disease ( a year younger than me), he was so desperate for a drink he walked out of the hospital and across the road to a pub and attempted to buy a pint.

That's how strong this disease is. No external force will make you stop drinking. Not fear of death, disease or prison. Only you.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:27 AM
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Hey - how cool is it that we can all talk openly and honestly on SR
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:06 PM
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I was the victim of a horrible car accident and almost died a 10 years ago. I was completely sober and was hit by a drunk driver going full speed. My car was totaled, I went through a year of physical therapy, and my life was never the same. Every day I live is a bonus. I have panic attacks while driving, I am terrified to be on the road and I always will be. Please stop drinking and driving. It's not just about you.
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Old 08-13-2014, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Gronk View Post
They will NOT give you inspiration to get sober.......they will give you a jail cell, an impounded car, an arraignment, a trial, a sentence, a loss of license, a ton of fines, a pile of legal bills. That sounds like inspiration TOO drink.
This. Don't go to the police, although a reasonable officer might see your doing the conscientious and right thing you might turn up as an officer needs to make another charge that day to hit his monthly bonus, and use what you say as a confession. The justice system works in strange ways nowadays.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Windancer View Post
I have been convicted of 2 DUI's and went to jail for the second one. Yes I totally deserved it. I am very very grateful I didn't hurt any innocent people, and it is a relief I currently don't have a license, and I don't want one again until I can trust myself 110%. However, before both DUI's I knew it was going to happen, I had a gut feeling. If I could go back in time and LISTEN to that feeling and sober and smarten up before the first one, I would. Sounds like you may be having the same feeling. Listen to it! And get some help for yourself.
Maybe I am having a gut feeling. The good news is I'm now terrified of drinking and driving now because I'm a big believer in the law of attraction and I fear that I may have threatened to manifest a DUI into my life with this thread (yes, I'm totally crazy). I don't honestly want a DUI, I just want freedom. I know my life could be so much better without this routine. I wouldn't have to feel ashamed all of the time, I could have more money, could get into better shape, could find a nice girlfriend, ect.

That's the good news. The bad news is I couldn't go to that meeting tonight because I got off of work too late, but honestly I was probably too chicken to walk in there anyways.

I completely understand everyone's posts about hitting and killing someone. If I hit and killed someone, I don't even know what I would do. I would probably have to kill myself because I couldn't imagine living with that horror. Because I am a professional truck driver, I think subconsciously I feel like I'm a better 4 wheel driver than most of the people on the road even when I'm drunk. That thought process has to stop.
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