zerothehero

At seven months sober I've been getting this a lot lately, especially from old drinking buddies. They "want me back." I'm finally admitting to people that it is likely permanent (partly just to get them to stop asking). Aside from some concern that my employer will question me about my sobriety (oh, the irony), it seems time to let the truth slip out little by little... Let people talk...

Anyone else struggling with this? Any thoughts?

OldSkool

I too have noticed how old "friends" that we used to party, do drugs, and drink together, somehow there just isnt much there when you try to go sober. I clearly remember someone who I thought was a very good friend of mine comment when I told him I had to go to rehab, he said "Rehab is for quitters man. Youre not a quitter are you?" I never knew what to say to that, I just walked away shaking my head.
So dont let it bother you. Those people arent really friends in the end.

MelindaFlowers

Zero,

A lot of the people I enjoyed going out with and "partying" with were not alcoholics. They might drink a lot at a birthday celebration, bachelor party, or on a vacation but they were not alcoholics. They go out drinking once a month and don't fully understand that I would leave the birthday celebration and go home and drink more until I passed out. They just drank differently and actually have fun with it. Drinking to them was a special occasion.

Congratulations on seven months! That is amazing. You quit for a reason so stick with it. Sometimes I miss going out and partying with friends but it just was not for me. To be honest, it was ruining my mental and physical health. There was nothing fun about it. Just be honest with them and your real friends will understand.

PurpleKnight

Yeah I definitly had to make a lot of changes to who I hung out with and what activities I got involved in to protect my Sobreity!!

We gotta do what we gotta do!!

DisplacedGRITS

I started a new job a few months ago. I let it slip pretty early that I'm a sober recovering alcoholic. I don't have anything to hide. I know this way isn't possible for everyone. It's just what I am able to do. I figure, I'd rather be open and let people know who I am now rather than treat my sobriety and who I really am as some great secret. I'm not afraid of my coworker's judgment. I conduct myself in a manner every day that encourages people to get to know the real me. Open, honest, happy, straightforward, a bit silly and helpful. It's a great relief to me to not hide. If my boss asks why I absolutely cannot work Tuesday and Thursday nights regularly, I'll tell him because I can't live without my homegroup or women's meetings. I don't have to have my job. I absolutely have to have my meetings. If I ignore my sobriety or compromise it, they might as well fire me on the spot because I can't work and drink. It's just a simple, unchanging truth in my life that I accept.

Mountainmanbob

should be about time that you won't be hearing this much anymore

hang tight -- bigger issues coming

MM

Notmyrealname

Sounds like a good opener for you to mention briefly how much better you feel in life for having put the final stopper in the bottle. Maybe someone gets inspired and you're the catalyst that helps them help themselves.

(emphasis on the word "briefly")

Be glad people are interested in your life!

instant

Over time they stop asking. A year after that I started to get the odd comment of admiration for what you are doing for your health.

As time goes on it has gone from a "real biggie" I worried about a lot- to something I no longer care about. I no longer want a life of partying- I like being at peace with myself, and I can live with whatever that costs

Cowgirlie

When I emigrated I used to get family back home asking 'when' I was moving back. Ermmm, no this is a life change! Emigrated, not holiday! I didn't know for certain how the future would turn out in a new country but I knew I didn't want to move back to the old one. Similar analogy with drunk/sober?? Only time and continued presence in the new country has been the actions speaking louder than words in convincing people that this is permanent

Good for you! x

FreeOwl

I've had that actual, exact question.

I like to say something like "Nope.... I'm not 'on the wagon'. I just really prefer life without alcohol"

follow that up with a big smile and something like "So how are things with you and ___Fill_in_spouse_and_children's_names"??

No need to 'own up' or broadcast or evangelize. It's just a simple choice that seems to work more enjoyably than pouring toxins down my throat.



congrats on 7 months.

Windancer

Yes, I find a lot of people simply don't understand. After a period of sobriety some thing Im "cured" or something and assume I can continue drinking with no ill effects. Its been a tough thing for me.