work and anxious..trying not to be...
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
work and anxious..trying not to be...
Hi everyone.
As said from my last few posts, ive been sober for over 3 months now. HOORAY! I am truly grateful. And, all things considered, this has been oothe nicest summer I've had in a long time. I'm recovering from my liver issues very nicely, I'm enjoying my AA time and the friends I've made (I'm even taking on some service work), I'm working out all the time, and I'm finally present for my family...even though its still hard for them to understand some of this.
But, it is getting to be time to go back to work. I'm a little anxious because I think my work may have been a past trigger.
A little background: I am a medical technologist. I work in clinical laboratories running dianostic testing on patient blood and body fluids. I love what I do. However, there are things in this job that I can't control that in the past made me want to go home and cry/get mad/DRINK.
Last summer I resigned from a great job at a Chicago hospital. Loved the job but the commute there was too much. And I worked the overnight shift. I only lasted 6 months before I called it quits. And yes, I was drinking too much on off-days which didn't help at all. So, it became a summer of job hunting.
Worst summer of my life. My day was look for jobs, apply, wait for phone to ring, constantly check emails, wait for BF to come home, drink. I went on interviews...it was the only time I got out. I really blew off everyone else and everything I used to love. BF barely helped with bills, and I was an anxious, angry, drunk ball of wasting away. Eventually, BF and I broke up (that is another blog for another night), and I eventually got hired on at another hospital.
Fast foward: I lost said-job during my hospital stay 3 months ago...I wasn't even consious the day the letter of termination arrived. The reason being that I hadn't worked there long enough to get FMLA benefits. But, it was a blessing in disguise.
So, here I am, today. I've started checking out what's out there. Gonna do things different, I've decided. I will not let this job hunt run my life. I have money, food, a roof over my head, and support. I will not sit and dwell everyday why I haven't gotten a callback. I will be picky this time and find a job that I am truly happy with that works with my Sobriety. I will continue my path of serenity to the best of my power while looking for work.
I submitted 4 applications today. I began getting that anxiousness, and told myself "You ARE NOT LAST YEAR". Then I hiked it off in the Savannah. I will submit more applications next week.
Thanks for listening, blogging here always makes me feel better lately
As said from my last few posts, ive been sober for over 3 months now. HOORAY! I am truly grateful. And, all things considered, this has been oothe nicest summer I've had in a long time. I'm recovering from my liver issues very nicely, I'm enjoying my AA time and the friends I've made (I'm even taking on some service work), I'm working out all the time, and I'm finally present for my family...even though its still hard for them to understand some of this.
But, it is getting to be time to go back to work. I'm a little anxious because I think my work may have been a past trigger.
A little background: I am a medical technologist. I work in clinical laboratories running dianostic testing on patient blood and body fluids. I love what I do. However, there are things in this job that I can't control that in the past made me want to go home and cry/get mad/DRINK.
Last summer I resigned from a great job at a Chicago hospital. Loved the job but the commute there was too much. And I worked the overnight shift. I only lasted 6 months before I called it quits. And yes, I was drinking too much on off-days which didn't help at all. So, it became a summer of job hunting.
Worst summer of my life. My day was look for jobs, apply, wait for phone to ring, constantly check emails, wait for BF to come home, drink. I went on interviews...it was the only time I got out. I really blew off everyone else and everything I used to love. BF barely helped with bills, and I was an anxious, angry, drunk ball of wasting away. Eventually, BF and I broke up (that is another blog for another night), and I eventually got hired on at another hospital.
Fast foward: I lost said-job during my hospital stay 3 months ago...I wasn't even consious the day the letter of termination arrived. The reason being that I hadn't worked there long enough to get FMLA benefits. But, it was a blessing in disguise.
So, here I am, today. I've started checking out what's out there. Gonna do things different, I've decided. I will not let this job hunt run my life. I have money, food, a roof over my head, and support. I will not sit and dwell everyday why I haven't gotten a callback. I will be picky this time and find a job that I am truly happy with that works with my Sobriety. I will continue my path of serenity to the best of my power while looking for work.
I submitted 4 applications today. I began getting that anxiousness, and told myself "You ARE NOT LAST YEAR". Then I hiked it off in the Savannah. I will submit more applications next week.
Thanks for listening, blogging here always makes me feel better lately
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
It sounds like you're on the right track.
It may sound cheesy to some, but the serenity prayer comes to mind, especially when I read the word "control." I struggle with the wisdom to know the difference.
Keep up the good work!
It may sound cheesy to some, but the serenity prayer comes to mind, especially when I read the word "control." I struggle with the wisdom to know the difference.
Keep up the good work!
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