Six months in... and suddenly craving booze
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1
Six months in... and suddenly craving booze
Hi,
I'm a newbie to SR although I've come across threads from it when I've been googling recovery issues which have been helpful. .
I've been coasting along really, and after the first few months the craving more or less passed.
But I've been getting depressed lately over the issue that part of the reason I did drink to excess was to blot out feelings of not feeling 'good enough' and failing in / running away from / being hostile in social or potentially romantic situations. I feel a bit hopeless that those feelings are still there, that 20 years after I felt like that at Freshers week at university nothing seems to have changed. In my toolbox there's still only the trusty bottle of wine or three to fix it. Can anyone help? P x
I'm a newbie to SR although I've come across threads from it when I've been googling recovery issues which have been helpful. .
I've been coasting along really, and after the first few months the craving more or less passed.
But I've been getting depressed lately over the issue that part of the reason I did drink to excess was to blot out feelings of not feeling 'good enough' and failing in / running away from / being hostile in social or potentially romantic situations. I feel a bit hopeless that those feelings are still there, that 20 years after I felt like that at Freshers week at university nothing seems to have changed. In my toolbox there's still only the trusty bottle of wine or three to fix it. Can anyone help? P x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hmm, I do think it's necessary to get to the bottom of the issues to ensure continued recovery. The issues don't go away, which I think is what you're finding out. Have you made any changes in your life that could help you to deal with social/romantic situations with less stress? It's possible that therapy could help, journaling, talking to a trusted friend? I hope you can find a way to deal with these issues.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
a therapist / counselor is a good suggestion. Often, we have issues that related to or even drove our obsession with addiction. These issues don't resolve when we take away the self-medication. They may seem a little less present or they may lie dormant just beneath our consciousness but still causing us problems... or they may rage up out of control.
AA and active recovery can help too... the steps take us through a proven process of self-examination and help us understand our own limitations, gaps, beliefs, resentments, pains, angers.... and take actions to work through them.
Following the steps AND working with a qualified therapist who understands addiction can be really helpful. I've not committed fully to either, but have chipped away at using both and have found progress.
We can't simply stop drinking and expect to be 'cured'. Putting down the addictions is only the first action in a process of growth and becoming the best human being we can be.
That takes time, that takes support and learning and it takes ACTION.
AA and active recovery can help too... the steps take us through a proven process of self-examination and help us understand our own limitations, gaps, beliefs, resentments, pains, angers.... and take actions to work through them.
Following the steps AND working with a qualified therapist who understands addiction can be really helpful. I've not committed fully to either, but have chipped away at using both and have found progress.
We can't simply stop drinking and expect to be 'cured'. Putting down the addictions is only the first action in a process of growth and becoming the best human being we can be.
That takes time, that takes support and learning and it takes ACTION.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It's gonna take time to figure out ways to deal with life without alcohol, I take hope from the fact that so many people in life don't drink and still manage to survive stress and when things go wrong in life!!
I had to learn to like myself when I got Sober, because part of the reason I continued to drink was I didn't mind damaging my health as I hated many things about who I was!!
The problem though is, drinking to manage life is not a longterm sustainable solution, we need a new way forward, but it can be found!!
I had to learn to like myself when I got Sober, because part of the reason I continued to drink was I didn't mind damaging my health as I hated many things about who I was!!
The problem though is, drinking to manage life is not a longterm sustainable solution, we need a new way forward, but it can be found!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome Plankton
Like others have said I found not drinking didn;t sdolve all my problems - in fact it made some of them all the more apparent.
But what recovery did was give me the capacity to look at some of these long lasting issues and work on them.
I added new tools - I got some counselling, I challenged my negative self talk and most important of all, I learned to accept and love myself.
For me service work, helping other was the key - your key may be different
That was not an overnight experience but the time and effort I put in was worth it.
Ultimately I found I was a better friend and partner for all of that. I'm sure you will too
Like others have said I found not drinking didn;t sdolve all my problems - in fact it made some of them all the more apparent.
But what recovery did was give me the capacity to look at some of these long lasting issues and work on them.
I added new tools - I got some counselling, I challenged my negative self talk and most important of all, I learned to accept and love myself.
For me service work, helping other was the key - your key may be different
That was not an overnight experience but the time and effort I put in was worth it.
Ultimately I found I was a better friend and partner for all of that. I'm sure you will too
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I agree with all the above. Getting to the bottom of this issue is necessary. Gotta get through and beyond it. A bottle of wine or 3 will only postpone the inevitable, and will stop the growth and progress you've made in your 6 months. I get tempted too because sometimes I get tired of doing all this work. It's hard and sometimes I just want a break. But I think it through and realize that I will be a happier person if I do the work. You can do it....you have done so great so far. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Ditto on the above suggestions. I find that when an anniversary of quitting comes up - one month, three months, six months, nine months, the feelings creep back. Weather through it but it helps talking it out to sort through the feelings. They tend to be there for me, drinking or not. Drinking only hid them for a bit until I couldn't ignore them anymore.
Congratulations on six months! That is a great success.
Congratulations on six months! That is a great success.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 314
Good job on 6 months!!
I also struggled quite a bit after the 6 month mark -- lots of PAWS stuff, emotional, insecurity, intense cravings to avoid feeling so much all the time, etc.
Like you I was worried and anxious about things underlying the drinking.
Even though you are feeling down, I hope you can see that much of this is really the siren call of the AV.
At 10 months now and it's not easy all the time, however many of the issues and challenges I felt at 6 months are much better.
I liken some of early sobriety to peeling an onion, each layer reveals new insight -- some is helpful, some needs work, some should be discarded.
Keep going, it'll get better again!
I also struggled quite a bit after the 6 month mark -- lots of PAWS stuff, emotional, insecurity, intense cravings to avoid feeling so much all the time, etc.
Like you I was worried and anxious about things underlying the drinking.
Even though you are feeling down, I hope you can see that much of this is really the siren call of the AV.
At 10 months now and it's not easy all the time, however many of the issues and challenges I felt at 6 months are much better.
I liken some of early sobriety to peeling an onion, each layer reveals new insight -- some is helpful, some needs work, some should be discarded.
Keep going, it'll get better again!
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