3 year roller coaster ride
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CT
Posts: 116
Feeling every bit of my depression. Didn't accomplish much today, leading to more feeling of uselessness. But just don't seem to have the right energy. Trying to just keep thoughts of drinking at bay. A few hours until I take my son to his music lesson, then to my sisters for a family board game night.
She and her family are so together. I love them, but can't help comparing myself unfavorably. I know though, that it will be good for me and my family to get out and interact in a healthy way with them.
I used to be such a strong, productive, pretty together person. Now the smallest things take the greatest effort.
She and her family are so together. I love them, but can't help comparing myself unfavorably. I know though, that it will be good for me and my family to get out and interact in a healthy way with them.
I used to be such a strong, productive, pretty together person. Now the smallest things take the greatest effort.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CT
Posts: 116
Adder, thanks. I agree. Not drinking allows me to feel my depression, then want to drink again. Ah, addiction.... after the initial euphoria of not drinking for 5 days, I am experiencing the worst craving on day 6.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Los Angeles Area, CA
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by mapp 
All this despite being frightened to death after withdrawal symptoms this last time. Why am I still thinking this way. My "real" brain knows better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CT
Posts: 116
I'm hoping writing gets me through - another tool. Today I am probably making the biggest effort to overcome craving than I have in a long time. Usually I give in fairly quickly. Today I've held it off pretty much since waking up....so I guess that's where my productivity is centered today.
I have to credit this site as a new additional tool.
And thank you for the encouragement Adder! It really helps.... hope you're hanging tough too!
I have to credit this site as a new additional tool.
And thank you for the encouragement Adder! It really helps.... hope you're hanging tough too!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Welcome to SR Mapp 
have you explored these tips and tools?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
have you explored these tips and tools?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CT
Posts: 116
Excellent ideas. If sticking close to this site keeps me from drinking for the rest of today, and even if I do nothing else today, I will consider it the absolute best use of my time.
I have some deep holes to climb out of....as with so many others, each time my "rock bottom" becomes even lower than I could have possibly imagined, I'd say to myself "how much more devestation needs to happen before you stop?" I guess the answer was " a lot". After losing my career, self respect and respecvtt of others, good health, being arrested, going to jail (!!), I don't know how much lower there is to go... and i don't want to find out.
I have some deep holes to climb out of....as with so many others, each time my "rock bottom" becomes even lower than I could have possibly imagined, I'd say to myself "how much more devestation needs to happen before you stop?" I guess the answer was " a lot". After losing my career, self respect and respecvtt of others, good health, being arrested, going to jail (!!), I don't know how much lower there is to go... and i don't want to find out.
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