Meraviglioso

Oh Carl, thank you for that. You know, kind words are never wasted and you never know the impact they will have.
This truly touched me.

I'll share a short story. About 8 months ago I was out to do my shopping at the supermarket. I parked my car in the garage and got in the elevator. There was another woman in there with me and I made a small comment about how lucky we were the elevator was working (this elevator has broken down so much) and she conversed with me for the full 20-30 second ride- In normal Italian, using a normal tone of voice, a normal speed of speech, normal words. The elevator arrived at our destination and we both got off to commence our shop. I cried. I have lived here in Italy for almost 10 years but I am not yet fluent. I know I make grammatical mistakes, I know my accent will always remain. Almost everyone hears my accent and speaks to me as if I am a child. In an overly loud, child-like voice, cutting conversations short, etc. etc.
This woman spoke to me like the 35 year old adult woman that I am. It is 20-30 seconds of her life that I am sure she forgot by the time she was at the checkout. But that day it meant the WOLRD to me. She was kind, respectful and treated me as a fellow human being worthy of making small talk with in the elevator. To this day, 8 months later I remember it. As I will remember your kind words. Thank you.

littlefish

As you work on recovery, you will come to expect things like that. cooking with alcohol? A very common stumbling block. I relapsed once cooking with wine.
And, the social engagements that involve alcohol. That is a really big issue that almost all of us in recovery have to pay special attention to.

For the social engagement with alcohol, it's really good to have a plan. Have a response prepared when offered alcohol, a quick reply that includes asking the host or hostess for a non alcohol drink.
Always have an exit plan, a means of leaving the party the minute you feel uncomfortable: avoid having to depend on someone else for transportation. It is very important to be able to leave when the party starts to trigger you or make you upset.
Its a great strategy to bring a sober friend to events to give each other support.
Or, if it just feels too overwhelming, you might need to skip social events for a while until you feel ready.

Meraviglioso

That is great advice littlefish, you are so right, I need to think of a better plan. I had prepared myself before for the fact that alcohol would be at the party, but the glass in hand situation I had not anticipated. I see now that I need a longer stretch of sobriety and strength to draw on before I am ready to attend events where that could happen.

FreeOwl

It's just that easy.... If we don't have a full and present choice to live sober, the next drink is just a whim away.

You can use this to your growth and learn from it... The cycle need not continue.

Elodie

Hey Mera,

I'm only on Day 30 so I don't have much in the way of advice, but I want to offer my support. I know all too well the feeling of being disappointed in yourself. Don't dwell on that feeling, though (it will only make you want to drink more), use it as another tool in your sobriety toolkit.

Sending you good thoughts!!