Marcher13

Trouble my first thought is that total strangers don't have a clue about you and what your drinking problems are. Secondly these total strangers are highly unlikely to be informed and qualified on alcohol problems.

Like Nuu, I don't have an Off button when the wine is flowing. If the flow stopped I would move heaven and earth to have it flow again.

Those of us who ask the question about whether we can drink moderately probably already really know the answer, moderate drinkers don't even think to ask the question.

DarkDays

Having one or two I could do it no probs , but my world would be one of obsession and angst , counting down the days till I could poison myself again , thinking about it etc . The absurdity of this pastime is in fact laughable .

Cool total sobriety non conformity call it what you want is the only way

desypete

i call real alcoholics the tramps out on the street who have noting but booze with them, there is no cure for these guys aa doesnt work, they dont have a computer so nothing online will work, there money goes on booze so nothing left for books

what on earth will cure these guys and save them from death ?

were they really just weekend drinkers at one time, or were they born out in the streets with drink in there hands ?

did they ever have normal lives were they tried to control there drinking ?

wouldn't you think they would have took steps when it got bad enough and done something like we all have to save themselves ?

well the truth is there out there today sitting drinking in there alleyways and just waiting for the end as there only way out

they are the true alcoholics in my eyes and there is no cure as i dont see any tramps turn there lives around and i would love to hear of just one such story i really would

so maybe we are all just problem drinkers who found a way out ?

all i know about is my own drinking and what my problem was and for me it didnt matter if i drank 1 day or 7 days or took time off and drank months later
when i took a drink i wanted more and would end up getting smashed out of my brains
i would do things i wouldnt normaly do and wake up the next day hung over, trying to remember what i did last night, and having that horriable feeling of guilt shame and remorse
i also know my drinking progressed over time from weekend drinking to everyday drinking and i so very nearly ended up out on the streets myself having lost a business and all my money, my family, everything i lost all for drink

it didnt happen over night it didnt happen in just a year it took a lot of years for this problem to get worse for me
but it was always the same one drink and off i go to get smashed and misbehave

i do believe this is the path the tramps also took hence i know i am so lucky i didnt end up out on the streets like they are,

so if i drink today i know where i will end up one day and i simply dont want to go there i have far to much to lose

its no good me crying later on in life at what i lost or saying to myself if only i didnt drink that night as this wouldnt of happend, if i know i have a problem with booze then i have to do something about it otherwise dont cry when you lose your wife or family or home just accept you had been warned it would happen this way
i was warned when i was just 23 i didnt listen either

Bamboozle

A ton of feathers weighs the same as a ton of bricks.

Alcohol is alcohol. Beer is not a safer alternative. People think liquor is worse--it's not, it's just concentrated. I drank it all...and I averaged the same intake of alcohol whether beer, wine or liquor.

I believe I started on the weekends, too, and it quickly got out of control. Soon it was every day. I've heard there are some who can moderate, but I'm not one of them.

jason2

Yes, you most certainly can.

Notmyrealname

I was a weekend warrior until I started drinking during the week.. And then I started drinking in the mornings on days I didn't have to go to work. Had not yet drank before work, but who knows what the future could have held? It's progressive.

Every time I see a post on here where someone says " . . but I never drink during the week" or ". . I never drink in the morning" or anything starting with "I never" I mentally sub out all those "I never"s for "I have not yet", because although I can't say for sure where people will be in a year or two of drinking, it's not too hard to predict what direction they're gonna go in if they stay on the sauce, and it's usually downwards.

So maybe a holding pattern works for some, but I think most people end up on an arcing, downward trajectory, and if you have booze problems now just think where you could end up with five years of consistent practice.

MelindaFlowers

I agree with this. The quantity I had to drink kept increasing until I stopped. It is progressive.

LadyBlue0527

THIS! To a tee! Never drank in the morning to make myself feel better, although I was definitely at the stage where I could have done that. 95% of the time my drinking was isolated to the weekend, sometimes only one night on the weekend. I only drank beer and never had any interest whatsoever in hard stuff. Tried switching to wine for a while and that was a disaster because I drank it like beer. It all came down to the lack of the shutoff valve and the resulting person I became due to that.

Trouble1234, I heard the same opinions too when I quit. However, these people didn't have to live with me nor did they see me when I was full throttle under the influence.

In the same respect as those who are telling you that you aren't an alcoholic we're going to sit here and warn you what those thoughts can do. To be fair, just like them, we don't know you. The important thing is that you came here for a reason. With that being said what do you think?

IOAA2

I may be wrong but probably for the first 40 years, AA probably had more than 75% of these people as its foundation members. If we haven’t noticed, it worked for them!
I’ll say from many years of observation that if we are alcoholics moderation does not work.
When we try to control something, it’s out of control.
The biggest problem alcoholics trying to get sober have is denial regarding their situation.
Sobriety requires us to be honest with our self about our drinking and accept the fact that we CANNOT drink in safety. It’s that simple!

BE WELL

Mountainmanbob

Periodic drinking is defined as alcohol abuse that occurs in periodic intervals rather than on a regular basis. For example, a periodic drinker may not drink during the work week, but may drink abusively over the weekend.

Contrary to popular opinion, periodic drinking does not exclude the drinker from developing problems of alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence (alcoholism).

Binge drinking is just one form of periodic drinking. Periodic drinking can take the form of controlled drinking for short periods, rather than intense drinking all at once, such as drinking slowly and steadily over a weekend.

Periodic drinking is often cited by problem drinkers and alcoholics as evidence that they still have control over their drinking. They believe that if they can stop or regulate their drinking for any period of time, that this means they have control. On deeper examination, however, this defense often breaks down. One way to test if a periodic drinker has reached the stage of alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence is to have them attempt to stop drinking for an extended period.

If a periodic drinker has difficulty not drinking for a longer period than they are used to, this may indicate a problem of alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM IV) of the American Psychiatric Association defines Alcohol Abuse as "the recurring use of alcoholic beverages despite negative consequences." This definition can be applied just as easily to periodic drinkers.

If a period drinker is experiencing negative consequences due to drinking and is continuing to drink - even periodically - then by definition they have a drinking problem.

Filed under Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse
Tags: Alcohol Abuse, alcohol addiction, alcohol dependence, alcohol detoxification, Alcoholism, problem drinking, Recovery

Mountainmanbob

I have known and do know many of these types of drunks
who are living a sober life today

I don't understand your comment above desypete ????
you go to AA
have you not seen plenty yourself ????

M-Bob

FreeOwl

thanks everyone for this thread and all the comments.

I've been wading through a near-daily return of the nagging obsession that maybe after a year of sobriety I can go back to having a beer or two now and again. On special occasions. Whatever.

But even though I have been listening to that voice a little too much lately, I can see the truth if I stop and look honestly. One or two beers? WHAT is the point? One or two beers won't even have an effect, really. So why bother drinking one or two beers. If they'll have essentially the same effect as a soda or a glass of iced tea - then all that will do is tease the craving in me.

That's what I think happens during the periods of apparent "moderation" I've had in life. I give myself "evidence" that I can drink moderately, but somewhere inside there is a part of me that just grows more and more frustrated with having these little 'teasers' of the stuff. And eventually... maybe after a couple weeks, maybe several months, the conditions line up and there's an excuse to just go for it and there I am again, waking up from a blackout, feeling sick and shaky and the only relief is to drink again.... and the cycle begins anew.

It's really baffling.... those words were not chosen at random. Cunning. Baffling. Powerful. Hell yes, it's all of that. I have lived through two DUIs and woken up in police custody four times in my life because of alcohol. I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars, contributed to the demise of two marriages, gotten in fights, missed work, neglected important things in life, driven myself into burdensome debt, had risky sex, cheated on my spouse, wrecked vehicles, jumped out of moving vehicles, jumped out of third story windows, somehow avoided death on all these occasions - or killing or harming others..... and yet SOMEHOW.... somehow through all of this my mind is able to conveniently brush those facts and evidence of my own experience aside and suggest; "Well.... MAYBE after a year off, you can drink again".

WHAT.
THE.
ACTUAL.
EFF?

Anyway - thank you all again. This thread was a great way to stroll back through my own experiences and re-energize my own choice of sobriety and help argue back the voice that has been really nagging at me lately about being able to drink moderately again one day.

I haven't been to a meeting in a while either, so I'm going to get to a few this week.

Cahabr

I feel exactly the same way. One or two beers effects me about as much as a few glasses of tea. So why in the world would I want to drink those one or two beers and just tease myself to want to drink more? It makes no sense whatsoever. When I feel a craving to have a beer, I drink a glass of tea.

Eddiebuckle

Alcoholics aren't born in the form that most folks would recognize as such. I suspect that those opinions are from people who have no personal or professional experience with alcoholism and the progression it often takes.

foryoumyson

I don't think any problem drinker can drink moderately. I have 4 days if I tried drinking moderately tonight with a 6 pack I'd have to run back to the store after 4 or 5 I can't nurse any beer. I would start getting anxious and nervous I don't have enough I don't even have a buzz yet . Once I have that first drink forget it my nights doomed ...if you have to wonder if you can drink moderate I don't think you should even try it.

Nuudawn

Thank you for articulating pretty much exactly what happens. I went to AA (the first time) in my 20's basically over my "inability to moderate". When I drank (which was maybe once a week at best)...I drank myself to black out...often. My drinking increased..as my finances and stress did...and a few glasses of wine every day was part of some sophisticated, romantic picture of my sad, single life...

I went to AA again in my early 40's...yup, went back out cuz I thought I could "moderate".
Put together 4 months of sobriety last year.
Went out cuz I thought I could "moderate".

Ya..WHAT THE EFF is right.

I can't moderate.
That is the problem.
When I start I don't know if I can stop.
I don't turn a drink down when I'm drunk
or starting to get drunk..
cuz that's the point.
I like getting drunk..
so why would I stop..
And once I have that little buzz..I want to keep it going..I want to get higher.I never want to come down..
I want MORE

How do you moderate something you just want MORE and MORE of?

DoubleDragons

When I quit drinking I had the same questions as you did. I actually had limited myself to weekend drinking and had moderated fairly successfully. It was a lot of thinking and planning on my part and not very fulfilling. I came to SR because my mom evolved from a weekend problem drinker to someone who is drunk a least one morning a week and who shows up to events drunk. It is progressive. Someone here at SR challenged me to give sobriety a try in order to do a fair comparison. I am over ten months sober and I never want to drink again. Life is better without alcohol. I would wager that would be the case for all people, alcoholic or not. Read.Jason Vale's Kick the Drink Easily. It will give you a whole new perspective on alcohol and give yourself six months sober. You will not regret it.

anattaboy

I drank moderately every day. A fifth of vodka spread 8 hours is moderate but it was still a big problem. I hemmed and hawed for many years as to whether I was an alcoholic but proved time and again I cannot drink well. Of course it will get worse--unless you are biologically different than us that have lived to tell of it. Best wishes on whichever road you take--even the Big Book suggests trying some controlled drinking if yer not sure...

desypete

if that is true then why isnt it working today ?
bill w was a business man who didnt lose it all dr bob never lost it all either
they made the news by trying to cure incurables but they were in hospitals i know bill would take tramps home time and time again and couldnt get the sober but what he found out was it kept him sober

i guess if it is true then the only difference i can think of is how the guys worked there 12th step back then
they would take tramps into there homes and nurse maid them
no one does it like that anymore do they ?

it all seems to be directed at the better off class of drunk lol : )
ps
i use the term the tramps are the real alcoholics only for those people who believe there real alcoholics and go around telling others they are real alcoholics, as a tramp would look at someone who isn't like them and tell them that there not a real alcoholic. if that makes sense ? : )

FreeOwl

it isn't working today?

I see it working.... all over the world.... every day.

It sounds to me as though you may not have spent a lot of time around the tables. If you had, surely you'd see many examples of 'it working'.

Tramps on the street. Sure, there are many. Many of those have perhaps tried AA and found themselves unwilling or unable to commit themselves fully to a program of recovery - but that's not because it's not working.

I personally know several former "tramps on the street" who are in the rooms, sober and living happy lives now because of AA.