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Old 07-18-2004, 06:43 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
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Am I an alcoholic??

I guess I come here in desperate search of the definition of Alcoholic. The word makes me cringe. Do I think I am an (I think), do I think I have a problem....yes! My problem is binge drinking I guess is what it is. Do I drink every day, no, but when I do drink, I can't stop....does that make me an alcoholic?? I come from an alcoholic family. I always told myself I would never be like them. I think that trying to prove I am not like them, has made me one of them. Does that make any sense? I can't put the blame of drinking to much on someone else, because it is me who decides to drink or not. Anyways, I am very confused.

I have read some of the posings and I guess I just need help. Do I go to AA or Alanon?

Thoughts would be appreciated!!!
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Old 07-18-2004, 06:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi busy and welcome from another newcomer. Busy, I think that if YOU think you have a problem, then you probably do. I know others who are binge drinkers like yourself, and it is just another way of being an alcoholic. Not everybody presents symptoms the same way. I think you should keep visiting this website and make it to a meeting if you can- AA is probably your best bet. That is tough medicine for me to prescribe, since I haven't attended one yet. (I swear, I'm gonna do it!!!!!) So keep your chin up and listen to what the experts on this site have to tell you. Many of them are masters and I have benefitted greatly in knowing there are people like me out there who care so much. Take care, busy bead. Love, Kit
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Old 07-18-2004, 06:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Busy,

I came from an alcoholic family too and I tried with all my effort to be as different from them as I could be and, quite suddenly at about 45 years old, I started drinking and kept drinking for 3 years. I couldn't stop. I was devastated to realize what I had done to myself.

And, no you absolutely do not have to drink every day to be an alcoholic, it's about what the alcohol does to you when you drink. Take a look around the site, there's lots of information.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
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Old 07-18-2004, 07:05 PM   #4 (permalink)

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Originally Posted by busy_bead
Do I drink every day, no, but when I do drink, I can't stop....does that make me an alcoholic??
Only you decide if you've got a problem or not. Once you start, you can't stop. Me too. Same darn thing happens to me. I'm a chronic alcoholic.
Welcome to SoberRecovery.
We make sense of our lives here.
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Old 07-18-2004, 07:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome!

As Dan said only you can decide if you have a problem. But I will say this for thought, normal drinkers don't think about thier drinking. Normal drinkers don't have that internal turmoil about their drinking. Normal drinkers, don't binge, black out, throw up, and get up and do it all over again, be it the next day or a month later.

Should you decide, you WANT to quit, you have many options. AA has helped me and showed me how to remain sober. It's a good feeling to be around people like me, that understand. Al-Anon is for family members of alcoholics. You qualify there as well.

Whatever you decide, we're here to listen and lend support.
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Old 07-18-2004, 07:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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busy bead...

Welcome to the forum fellow Canadian eh. I am 28 and an alcoholic...

You sound like me, don't drink day-to-day but had a tendency to binge drink when I did decide to have that first one.. Stopping is nearly impossible, and things only get worse..

This place is awesome for answers and support, stick around, read some more !

" Failing to prepare, is preparing to fail "

" It's not how hard you fall, but how high you bounce back"
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Old 07-18-2004, 07:22 PM   #7 (permalink)

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I didn't drink everyday either but when I drank, I drank to get drunk, I stopped being able to tell when enough was enough! Eventually, the once in awhile drinking progressed to 4 out of 7 days a week to eventually everyday! Didn't mean for it to happen, it just did! Then it got to the point I didn't know what to do with myself if I didn't drink, very sad!

I consider myself to be an alcoholic, I tried so many times to control the number of drinks I had to convice myself I didn't have a drinking problem! As hard as I tried I just couldn't do it! After about 100 times of trying to drink just a few, I finally figured out I can't have even one. The craving for the buzz starts after the first drink, not before, once I got that first drink in me I didn't stop until I passed out or was very close to it!
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Old 07-19-2004, 12:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Busy

I'm an alcoholic. Once I start I don't stop. Even after six months of sobriety, that first drink had me, once I have the first one I just crave more and more until I can't drink anymore during that session.

First comes the obsession - I would think about having a drink and that becomes "thought of the day". I couldn't shake it, everything else in life would suddenly become "boring" or "I don't want to do that" or I would subconciously rubbish anything else that didn't involve drinking. This of course would justify the first one - then after the first one the physical compulsion would kick in - just one more, just one more, just one more .......

That's me. I'm an alcoholic.

much love

I told these guys I could now drink socially
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Old 07-19-2004, 07:35 AM   #9 (permalink)

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Busy, it is important to be honest with your self weather or not you are an "alcoholic" or not is up to you. knowing you have a problem controlling your drinking and doing something about it would seem like a wise choice to me. what are you going to do about it? 1) you can stop drinking and live your life as a person who doesnt drink any more or 2) you can continue trying to prove you are not like them by trying to drink with moderation. it sounds to me like #2 has been failing you. do the sensible thing and stop drinking. today is a good day to start your journey as a person who doesnt drink. you can do it. the best advice i can give you is dont drink one day at a time. take charge of your life.
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Old 07-19-2004, 09:27 AM   #10 (permalink)

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Chy, you said it so well, thanks! What constitutes normal? No matter what we have a problem with, if it's drinking, eating, turning light switches off and on 50 times before we're sure they're off, normal means not only not obsessing about it; it means not even thinking about it. Normality, by its very definition, doesn't even pop up on our internal radar screens.

I "think" about my drinking, I justify it to myself or others, I rationalize it, I make up rules within which I am "sure" I can stay to prove I don't have a problem, that's a hard and fast indicator that I have a problem.

I'm not saying I have the answer to alcoholism- if I did I'd bottle it and sell it and be a gazillionaire. But the first step is that simple question: "Do I have a problem?" Invariably, if I have to ask the question, the answer is "Yes."
- twoboys

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble." - Helen Keller
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