SillyString

I am nearly 7 months sober. Last time I had to travel for work event and be around the inevitable drinking was late Jan/early Feb, just about 2 weeks in to my sobriety. At the time, I was very focused on how it must look to others that I'm not drinking, since I was one of the drinkers...life of the party and all that. Yeah, right. I was very torn about wanting to drink at the time, but NOT wanting the consequences, etc.

I recently got back from a multi-day event for work. My sobriety feels solid right now, and so there was no temptation for me to drink even though I was literally surrounded by it. I was no longer self conscious about it in the least, even though several people asked me if I quit drinking and/or tried to get me to drink. I basically responded with, "No thanks, I'm good." Or, I would just say, "I'm not drinking today." No one really cared THAT much...certainly not like I imagined they would when I first started this. That's the first thing I learned.

So, anyway, this event turned into a MAJOR drink-a-thon, and my eyes were more open to objectively observing the behavior with a sober mind. And, wow. People were just HAMMERED. As I was watching this each day, I was so thankful that I wasn't one of those people. Social drinkers were muttering about how drunk so and so was, etc. not exactly in a mean way, but it was definitely being noted, if you know what I mean. As I looked at these folks in the early morning meetings almost turning green from their hangovers, my heart went out to them, and I was so happy that I was clear, rested, had no anxiety and remembered every moment, and every word of every conversation.

I looked at these people and saw how I used to act. It wasn't something to be proud of. I did it for years. They acted very inappropriately. And they did it loudly. They've said things they've regretted (per the participants themselves). I know they are looking for that reassurance that it wasn't "that bad", to quell that horrible anxiety.

Once again, another experience where I felt in control of myself and my world. I felt that not drinking was the choice I made and honestly wanted, vs. white knuckling it. Not being distracted by wresting with the very early sobriety issues and pressures was such an eye opening experience. Being able to see that drinking is NOT a requirement of the work scene was a realization I had. It really, really isn't. Being drunk is not a requirement. I never thought I'd be able to say these words and mean them, but I really do mean it. I've got a good thing going here, and I don't want to go back to the hell I was in.

SoberHoopsFan

Great post. I'm starting a new job very soon and may find myself thrust into a similar situation at some point over the next few months, perhaps during the holiday season if there is a company party. Reading this was very helpful.

Meraviglioso

Thank you so much for posting this, great great post. I'm so happy that you were able to get through your work event sober and notice these things, I am sure it was a boost to your confidence and a strong reinforcement for your decision to stay sober. I am still so new to sobriety so I saw myself in the hammered people you described and it was a great reminder of why I quit and where I never want to go again. I remember that searching for reassurance the following morning. Ugh, what a shame, guilt and paranoia inducing state. Bleh. I would take a raging hangover over the guilt and shame any day. That was the worst for me.

awholenewlife52

Great post, SillyString, very thought provoking.

I too never want to go back to those days of shame, guilt, anxiety and hangovers.

Great job on almost 7 months.

DarkDays

You done we'll, nothing better standing stone cold sober like a non conformist rebel amongst a heaving mass of red faced bugging eyed drunks , so cool . Great post.

Notmyrealname

I really like that finisher.

For anyone who feels they'll be condemned to a lifelong sentence of white-knuckled cravings, read that line, and then start looking for it in the posts on SR, because you'll see it again and again from people who have pushed through the early times and stuck to the sobriety plan.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. Some people have a longer tunnel than others (this is starting to sound vaguely dirty), but if you get away from the booze and stay away from the booze, the magic's gonna creep up on you before you know it.

Cowgirlie

Love this post! Great stuff xx

Lola23

Great post. I encounter drinking in work situations often, and I remember one event about 2 years ago that I'm still so mortified about.

Tiptree

Great post. Thank you!

Angel1555

Great post! I am started to really wrap my head around not drinking in social situations. I can't believe it has taken all these years to for the lightbulb to come that I could hang out with people and not get drunk when there was alcohol present.

sthlondonab

That's a great post and very inspiring to me having a job where drinking is almost expected.

Thank you!

PurpleKnight

Nice post!!

KateL

Inspiring post

CassieK

Yes, shame and guilt, and waking up thinking: What did I do last night? Dreading looking at your cellphone to see all the nasty text messages you sent out and then received. Moreover, not sweating and getting worked up because you are driving down the street and the police pull in behind you.