PurpleKnight

When I got Sober, I needed to make a lot of changes to the activities I got involved in and the people I hung out with, your life needs to stop facilitating your drinking and that's gonna mean a real change in lifestyle.

That is going to mean getting rid of all of that alcohol and telling your wife, as moving forward you are now a "non-drinker"!!

SandyLovesFall

I'm not sure if you have left for your ranch yet herradura, but I just wanted to say that I completely understand what you are going through. My husband and I are beer drinking buddies and have been for our entire 22 years of marriage. I have quit and started so many times I lost count. Weekends are the hardest for me because that is when I do my drinking....starting Friday night through Sunday afternoon. We go to our mountain home almost every weekend, that is where I have the most difficulty not drinking because that's such a party time for me (no responsibilities, no worries). I woke up in the mountains last Sunday morning and decided that was it. I'm done drinking. I'm in day 6 sober. I'm 51 years old and I've been drinking almost every weekend since I was 13. I haven't said anything to my husband because he won't be 100% happy that I quit. He likes when I drink...I'm his drinking buddy and I'm so much more relaxed and easy going with a few beers in me. However, he is a very loving and supportive man and I truly believe that once he sees that I'm serious and I don't drink, he'll be 100% on board. I really hope (pray) that he stops his beer drinking too, but right now, I'm my own concern.

Have a wonderful weekend at your ranch and embrace your sobriety. I'll be thinking of you this weekend as I stay strong in my struggles too.

Sandy

herradura

Good for you on the 60 days. My friends call me Hoss. I am a bootstrapper, tried and true, but with the drug deal years ago it was difficult since I seemed to have lost my legs for a while and as much as I pulled, the boots would not go on.
Same here with the access to alcohol, if it was not readily available, then I am not going. Have been known to carry a cooler with me places to insure I had unlimited access to ICB Ice Cold Beer. Used to typically order beers at a bar two at a time, and would finish one and get another one, so I always had one with me. Lord knows people die from not having a cold one in their hands! What a joke in retrospect.

There was a lot going on at the Ponderosa and yes they were typically sober except when Lil Joe would get is ass kicked in the bar and Hoss would have to go in and clean house.

I am 46. Thanks

Fly N Buy

Haaaa ! Thanks Hoss!
I drank liquor at the bar, vodka tonic or rum/coke mostly. Always doubles!! No sense in wasting time. Beer was mainly for the house as to somewhat appease others......or always for the cooler in the truck.

It's funny you used the analogy of losing your legs - there's a quote in the AA Big book;

We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.


Yea, little friggin joe would stir up S*** and Hoss would bail his arse out! My oldest brother actually bought a green leather chair that came out of Lorne Green's estate....

I am 54

Keep posting Hoss, it helps bro.....

herradura

So, I decided not to go to my ranch by myself as I knew I would drink. So instead I had a great weekend with my family and enjoyed a basketball tournament. We went up on Sunday and I stayed sober all day until we sat by the fire. My wife went to get a pina colada and I abstained. Then she came out of the house with two beers. I drank it and had 4 more before I stopped. I felt bad and good about it. Bad because I said I was not going to drink, good because I had about 15 less than I usually have and stopped. I do know that I cant keep it to 5, because if I could I would continue to drink. I can control it for a while, then it gets the best of me.

The good part was my wife came into my office today and told me WE need to stop drinking. I agreed and she is now on board. I told her I have been on this site and she will look at it. We can do anything together, but we are also each others worst enemies. As a few people have mentioned, their Wives/Husbands are their drinking buddies. So we are resolved to not drink for a month. I know I need to give it up totally and completely, but I have never gone a month before without drinking for 19 years.

Funny though, I met my wife in a bar in Grad school when I was not drinking. I used to take off a month or two every 4 months to keep it under control. I do like the fact I have only drank once in 12 days and not to excess. That of course is debatable. Five seems fine with me, but I know eventually it will not stay at that level.

I read in the paper today a guy got a DWI with his 10 year old in his car. He pled for child endangerment instead of the DWI as it was not as harsh a penalty. I am one of those guys who does not drive drunk with his kids in the car, except sometimes, which is too often. I would die if I got a DWI or child endangerment for driving while drinking. I do know it seldom happens when you are blind drunk, it happens when you think you are able to drive. I am just hoping and praying we, Wife and myself) can get this monkey off our backs. Thanks for reading.

Nonsensical

Hoping and praying are fantastic things. Planning kept me sober.

Planning put me on offense against my addiction. It made me feel proactive, less like a victim. I knew I was going to want to drink again. Planning how I was going to handle those times got me through the first few months.

You can do this.