Altoids

We just got home from camping. We had a wonderful time in the woods tucked in a cabin with just the trees, lots of coffee, our dogs and my trusty camera. It was soooo wonderful. AND my daughter is coming in from NYC for a visit on Saturday so we can go SCUBA diving. LIFE IS SOOOO SWEET.

. . . and on the long drive home I found my AV planning my next drink. The whens and hows. Once I realized what I was thinking about (yeah, it just dawned on me what was going on in the back of my brain) I got kinda scared and mad. This thing is so sneaky and insidious.

You can be sure I'm talking about it at the meeting tmr morning. But I needed to talk about it now. Why, when I've got everything to live for and love my life as it is now, would I find myself planning out my next drink??? Rhetorical question, I know. It is just how the AV works.

Thanks for listening.

Mairie

It's funny (NOT!) how the good old AV blots out the thoughts of withdrawals for 5-7 days after though isn't it Hang in there

Altoids

As soon as we got unpacked, I logged into SR. I knew once I checked in and started talking with y'all, I'd feel my resolved solidify again. One thing I learned after my last (and I mean THE LAST) relapse was to talk about those compulsions instead of handling them on my own. It isn't weakness to admit they happen. I cannot do this alone and need all of my tribe (family, AA group and SR) to walk this path with me. We can do this together. I firmly believe that! Thank you thanksthanks

least

Remember, thoughts don't have to become actions.

Altoids

My action to this thought was to TELL somebody. This is a new action for me. And I like it!!! Telling somebody instead of trying to manage it alone which does not work!!! Well, it doesn't work for me.
So. . .thank you all for listening. I love SR.

mirage

You are not alone, Altoids! I quit drinking 3 years ago..and tonight, as my family pulled out of the driveway to go away for the weekend, my AV started whispering..'sure would be nice to tie one on once this weekend while they're gone. Just one night, they won't even know. You deserve the release, you've earned one night'. Good grief, you'd think my AV would be DEAD by now. Amazing.

Glad you came here and that you're able to see it for what it is. It's tricky, but we're smarter.

Altoids

That was my first thought, Mirage. As soon as I realized what was going on in my head, I told the AV to shut up, that I do NOT drink. . .and I need to get on SR to tell somebody. AND I will tell my group in the meeting tmr morning. Yep, not keeping anything to myself that threatens my sobriety. It is MINE and I WILL NOT give it away.

SoberComposer

This thread is great! I am on day 6 and waiting in my car for my first meeting in a very long time. It's good to hear these to be aware down the road. In the past, around day 30 I had always given into that voice. Thinking: that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be... maybe I'm not an alcoholic. Lol.. then back to drinking like a fish within a week. So thanks, these threads will be my fuel soon!

Altoids

To me it is hard when I try to go it alone. I use every resource available to me. Nutrition, prayer, AA, SR, cross-fit, open discussion with family when I need their support. . . . whatever I need to do to get through those snaggy times. And when I'm not in snaggy times???? I do the same thing bc those snaggy times can sneak up on you in a heartbeat. . . just like it did to me today. Thanks, SoberComposer.