Vulnerability
 

I know we're all different but I'm curious to those who have had more success or experience with sobriety - when (if ever) do you start to feel more safe, less vulnerable to relapsing? Is there/will there be a time when I feel "I've got this", I won't relapse....does that make sense? I feel so incredibly vulnerable right now. 52 days sober, and I'm not expecting it to be now, this soon. But does it ever get easier?

Truly accepting that you are an alcoholic helps. I live by this:
If I am an alcoholic then I can't drink. If I am not then I don't need to.

I'm not sure I've ever felt like 'I've got this' because recovery is a journey. But, for me, deciding that drinking was no longer an option, really helped. And, I was really careful. I stayed away from places and people where alcohol was involved for many months and that really helped to reduce my vulnerability.

It's been three and a half years for me. I've been given a reprieve from alcohol. A daily reprieve as long as I keep my spiritual and mental state in order.
I'm vulnerable. I'm an alcoholic and can never safely drink again. I have to live this way every day. Aware.
I no longer crave alcohol. It doesn't bother me being around it. But it is my enemy and it's out to kill me like it almost did when I was an active drinker.
I come here and read the Newcomers threads, and am reminded of what it's like 'out there'. Such pain. Such suffering.
I also always keep in the back of my mind what it was like for me. The fear, crushing anxiety and remorse.
I tried to quit a hundred times. And now, no, I don't have it made. I'm one drink away from a drunk. Always.

90-days was a big milestone for me, I think that proved something to me. My mind set shifted from I think I can do this to I am doing this. It wasn't long after that I started to become more comfortable living sober. I started processing life challenges and life stress better, and became more comfortable socializing without booze.
For me there is a balance to maintain in becoming more comfortable with sober life, I need to be cautious I never become complacent.

Good job on 52-days