New to Forum - 5 mos clean - what a rollercoaster
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 2
New to Forum - 5 mos clean - what a rollercoaster
Hi Team,
I'm excited to be a part of the community and wanted to introduce myself. I'm 24 years old, and cleaned up in March this year. I started abusing alcohol and other substances when I was 16. Needless to say, the sobriety has been nothing but a huge opening of awareness. I graduated from college 2 years ago with an undergrad in Business Adm. but since sobering up I've questioned everything. In a sense, I was wondering if anyone could relate to the confusion early on within the first 6 months/year of recovery?
The desire to drink has thankfully left me, but I still struggle with old thinking that at times will do everything to make me feel like I'm "red lining" with emotion but I'm toilet trained to not drink and typically call a fellow AA member. It's weird, because I don't have a desire to drink, but it's like my emotions and thinking seem to still drive toward what used to be alcohol abuse.
Since being sober, I've seemed to overthink the **** out of a lot of things. The best way to explain it, is that I'm well aware of thinking that's pointless, or irrational, and at 24 wonder if having started up at 16 if I ever really knew who I was or what I enjoyed? That being said, it's almost as though I can't get grounded with the thoughts or day to day to start to start being able to pick up on the details in life again. I used to be a very avid reader, and since sobering up, I've noticed that I have a difficult time concentrating while doing so. Also with people, I seem to almost have a flight or flight instinct that's still operating the majority of me which is frustrating. Basically, I don't feel like I've touched down yet - and it's difficult to pursue change with character defects not feeling grounded.
I'm curious if anyone has experienced this within their first 6 months/year of recovery? It's hard to slow down, ground, and really start to feel like depth is coming back into my life. Anyway, look forward to hearing from you and excited to be a part of the group! Thanks team.
I'm excited to be a part of the community and wanted to introduce myself. I'm 24 years old, and cleaned up in March this year. I started abusing alcohol and other substances when I was 16. Needless to say, the sobriety has been nothing but a huge opening of awareness. I graduated from college 2 years ago with an undergrad in Business Adm. but since sobering up I've questioned everything. In a sense, I was wondering if anyone could relate to the confusion early on within the first 6 months/year of recovery?
The desire to drink has thankfully left me, but I still struggle with old thinking that at times will do everything to make me feel like I'm "red lining" with emotion but I'm toilet trained to not drink and typically call a fellow AA member. It's weird, because I don't have a desire to drink, but it's like my emotions and thinking seem to still drive toward what used to be alcohol abuse.
Since being sober, I've seemed to overthink the **** out of a lot of things. The best way to explain it, is that I'm well aware of thinking that's pointless, or irrational, and at 24 wonder if having started up at 16 if I ever really knew who I was or what I enjoyed? That being said, it's almost as though I can't get grounded with the thoughts or day to day to start to start being able to pick up on the details in life again. I used to be a very avid reader, and since sobering up, I've noticed that I have a difficult time concentrating while doing so. Also with people, I seem to almost have a flight or flight instinct that's still operating the majority of me which is frustrating. Basically, I don't feel like I've touched down yet - and it's difficult to pursue change with character defects not feeling grounded.
I'm curious if anyone has experienced this within their first 6 months/year of recovery? It's hard to slow down, ground, and really start to feel like depth is coming back into my life. Anyway, look forward to hearing from you and excited to be a part of the group! Thanks team.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Welcome! Yes, some of those things you've mentioned are common in early sobriety. I too experienced difficulties in concentration and focus while reading. Still do. Feeling ungrounded, especially around people... yes, I've felt all that too. I can tell you it does get better, things do improve. You are young still and that is good thing. Don't ever start back drinking! The first six months of sobriety was the roughest. Hang in there 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
welcome to the forum - and congrats on 5 months
the feels early are a challenge but you are at the point I was when things started to make sense.
I only wish I could go back 30 years to where you are now and get this...
the feels early are a challenge but you are at the point I was when things started to make sense.
I only wish I could go back 30 years to where you are now and get this...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 340
Welcome and good move at 24.
I was 35 and yes after a while I had all these thoughts and over thinking running around in my head in relation to all sorts of stuff. It was like 20 years of drinking suppressed all my creativity and critical thinking now it was all bottlenecked and wanting out at the same time.
I find quiet time to think it all through and get it out helps. Also physical exercise and just evaluating life goals, what u want, how to work towards it and live in the moment.
Its like now I am not blinded and weighed down there are all these options opened up and it is hard to focus, like a kid on a sugar high.
Best of luck.
I was 35 and yes after a while I had all these thoughts and over thinking running around in my head in relation to all sorts of stuff. It was like 20 years of drinking suppressed all my creativity and critical thinking now it was all bottlenecked and wanting out at the same time.
I find quiet time to think it all through and get it out helps. Also physical exercise and just evaluating life goals, what u want, how to work towards it and live in the moment.
Its like now I am not blinded and weighed down there are all these options opened up and it is hard to focus, like a kid on a sugar high.
Best of luck.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Early sobriety can indeed be a rollercoaster of emotions. Treat yourself well, with good food and rest and exercise, and with time it should improve. If it doesn't get better, a visit to your doctor for a checkup might be in order.
Welcome to SR!
Welcome to SR!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 2
Thanks for the posts and reassurance team! Spoke with my sponsor on Sunday and had a great discussion. It's weird how principles are so much easier than we make them. Disclaimer: I respect anyone's path to sobriety and everyone's different with what works for them. Regarding 12 steps, he had me look back at steps 2 and 3 - and said "It's just like this. Either you believe it or you don't." Also, he reminded me that this requires patience, and persistence. Nothing new is going to feel normal, changes aren't going to feel comfortable, and that alcoholics have this ingrained tendency to always think there's a problem somewhere in their lives. We were the problem.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
I overthink everything sober, too, but not as much when I drank! I just think my overthinking is my mind recovering from the coma it was in for so long. But congrats on 5 mo, I'll be 3mo tomorrow. Would've been great to know at 23 what I know now at 33, but things were meant to be for a reason. Cheers! 
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