random thoughts
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: mountain states, Montana and Wyoming
Posts: 246
random thoughts
Just went and bought groceries without purchasing the 2 30 packs of miller lite. Walked right past the wine section as I don't care for it. Getting the groceries upstairs was a lot easier when I did not have to carry the beer, and the refrigerator, the beer fridge is now full of melons and vegetables which used to have to be shoveled to other fridges.
I guess I am lucky to not have any physical cravings for alcohol, at least not yet, but it has only been 4 days. What frightens me is what I am going to have to do to change my thought about doing everything I do. I go fishing and it is fun with a cooler of beer. Driving to the ranch is awesome because I grab a 12 to head up and drink on the way and then there is always a fresh 30 in the "beer fridge" up there. Social things are fun, especially when I warm up with a few whiskys and then pace the night with beer, unless there party throwers are real drinkers, then I get staggering drunk.
Virtually everything I do, except going to church revolves around booze. Today is my wifes birthday and I will make her an awesome dinner of homemade pasta and a languistine white sauce, but this time without drinking a bottle or two of wine while cooking, then having great beer with dinner, and finishing off the affair with a Scotch.
Have gone days before without drinking, but I always knew I would and could drink in the coming days. this is a mental shocker to me. Was going to clean out the garage and I always have several beers while I do it for an hour or two and then concentrate on the drinking and leave the garage in worse shape.
It feels like all of my activities are dependent upon drinking. I have in the past two years slowed down with drinking, because I can control it... No, I cant control it because I cant stick to the plan once I take a beer out of the fridge. My focus when drinking is to get to the stage where I am drunk as soon as possible, then focus on maintaining the drunk, or increasing it, never decreasing it. I used to decrease it and go to bed sober, now it seems I often take a beer with me to bed.
Have a lot of time to do things these last few days, clean up stuff that otherwise is left alone since I am either drunk or too hungover to do it and there is always tomorrow to do it.
Anyway, this is going to be an interesting ride. Cant believe how good I feel in the morning. When I drink I don't sleep, then the next day is used for sleeping and finding the right concoction of food to make me feel better.
I am going to give it a week and check my weight as it has gotten progressively worse the last few years. I have to believe I will lose weight from the lack of feeding the hangover.
I hope everyone is doing well.
I guess I am lucky to not have any physical cravings for alcohol, at least not yet, but it has only been 4 days. What frightens me is what I am going to have to do to change my thought about doing everything I do. I go fishing and it is fun with a cooler of beer. Driving to the ranch is awesome because I grab a 12 to head up and drink on the way and then there is always a fresh 30 in the "beer fridge" up there. Social things are fun, especially when I warm up with a few whiskys and then pace the night with beer, unless there party throwers are real drinkers, then I get staggering drunk.
Virtually everything I do, except going to church revolves around booze. Today is my wifes birthday and I will make her an awesome dinner of homemade pasta and a languistine white sauce, but this time without drinking a bottle or two of wine while cooking, then having great beer with dinner, and finishing off the affair with a Scotch.
Have gone days before without drinking, but I always knew I would and could drink in the coming days. this is a mental shocker to me. Was going to clean out the garage and I always have several beers while I do it for an hour or two and then concentrate on the drinking and leave the garage in worse shape.
It feels like all of my activities are dependent upon drinking. I have in the past two years slowed down with drinking, because I can control it... No, I cant control it because I cant stick to the plan once I take a beer out of the fridge. My focus when drinking is to get to the stage where I am drunk as soon as possible, then focus on maintaining the drunk, or increasing it, never decreasing it. I used to decrease it and go to bed sober, now it seems I often take a beer with me to bed.
Have a lot of time to do things these last few days, clean up stuff that otherwise is left alone since I am either drunk or too hungover to do it and there is always tomorrow to do it.
Anyway, this is going to be an interesting ride. Cant believe how good I feel in the morning. When I drink I don't sleep, then the next day is used for sleeping and finding the right concoction of food to make me feel better.
I am going to give it a week and check my weight as it has gotten progressively worse the last few years. I have to believe I will lose weight from the lack of feeding the hangover.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Dracut,MA
Posts: 78
Hi herra,
I know that all of us at times think of drinking in a good way, but I'm sure that all of the times that you mentioned may have started out nicely but ended horribly. Whenever I think about fun, enjoyable times I had drinking alcohol, I quickly force myself to think of the horrible things I did, the disgusting way it made me feel, the troubles I caused for myself and others, and the family members that I affected with pain and worry. Drinking for me, became a chore, a nightmare, a necessity, an obsession and a curse. It will never be fun for me again - I know this, and I have to remember it.
I know that all of us at times think of drinking in a good way, but I'm sure that all of the times that you mentioned may have started out nicely but ended horribly. Whenever I think about fun, enjoyable times I had drinking alcohol, I quickly force myself to think of the horrible things I did, the disgusting way it made me feel, the troubles I caused for myself and others, and the family members that I affected with pain and worry. Drinking for me, became a chore, a nightmare, a necessity, an obsession and a curse. It will never be fun for me again - I know this, and I have to remember it.
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