Mirage74

I've identified something from the past where I feel immense shame and guilt. It explains a lot, including my family issues. I've been trying to bury/kill the shame with alcohol. I've never been able to let it go. At least if I can quit drinking, I can find a way to come to terms with it. I've always felt I never would be able to, so I've always returned to alcohol. I'm talking with someone about it. We're making progress, but it's slow. But I may feel there may be a way out. I need to make amends. But it's difficult to do mainly bc of logistics.

Anyway, back at day 1. I think I finally understand, drowning whatever emotions you are experiencing, whether good or bad, with alcohol is no solution.

Dee74

As long as you've learnt something and you use that to help you not to drink again then it may not have been a totally bad experience Mirage74.

I really hope you can make this your turning point.

D

Anna

Mirage, it's good that you identified a problem and know what you can do to help yourself get through it. Hopefully by dealing with the pain, you will no longer feel the need to drink over it.

Thepatman

The need to make amends can be addressed at a later time I think mirage.

For now this can be about you only, just concentrate on your well being by eating healthy, proper sleep and learning to deal with emotions, the little day to day stress triggers is a great place to start.

Rooting for you!!

silentrun

Hi Mirage. Last month you posted you were struggling with the family thing. Sorry you ended up using. Riding out that first year can be rough. You joined this site the same month I quit. I can promise you it gets easier. A lot of it will clear itself with some healing time. What doesn't you will be in a position to figure out. You have to have the mantra that you will not drink any amount under any circumstances. No matter what you can not give yourself permission to drink. I used once too. Have a plan in place for the next time it tries to get you. It didn't come at me again for several more months but when it did I was ready. BAMB!!! It never got any further than a thought.
I'm glad you made it back.

ScottFromWI

I'm glad you are learning Mirage, and glad that you are back. Whatever it is that troubles you I sincerely hope you can work through it. The bottom line for me was that no problem or situation, no matter how severe, could be a reason to drink.

anchorhold

Life is so much better when not drinking. I really am seeing now that alcohol really doesn't add anything to our ability to embrace and enjoy life. It's like I'm seeing the world from a whole new unencumbered perspective, almost like I was a kid again.

Be strong.
>AH

PurpleKnight

Go at it again, never give up, you can do this!!