i made a mistake...
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
I think there was some good advice in the thread you started yesterday.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4818004
If you want to keep drinking, then of course, that's your choice.
People take time out to make suggestions because we know it's hard. But I don't know what we can say today, that we didn't yesterday?
Oh well, pick yourself up....til the next time? That would be enabling?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4818004
If you want to keep drinking, then of course, that's your choice.
People take time out to make suggestions because we know it's hard. But I don't know what we can say today, that we didn't yesterday?
Oh well, pick yourself up....til the next time? That would be enabling?
You said it yourself, "I drank, thinking everything would be awesome."
I flushed five years of clean time to get high over the course of one weekend. Why? Because I wanted to get high more than I wanted to stay clean. Opportunity, access, and lack of accountability all at once, and I had no defense in place.
Once we make the decision to drink, it's almost impossible to stop. Only in hindsight do we realize the rammifications of our poor decision. Rarely before. We have to do our hardest to intervene before we take the drink. Before the thought of drinking gains a foothold.
I flushed five years of clean time to get high over the course of one weekend. Why? Because I wanted to get high more than I wanted to stay clean. Opportunity, access, and lack of accountability all at once, and I had no defense in place.
Once we make the decision to drink, it's almost impossible to stop. Only in hindsight do we realize the rammifications of our poor decision. Rarely before. We have to do our hardest to intervene before we take the drink. Before the thought of drinking gains a foothold.
Well, I am glad it wasn't great for you and that you are back with us! You are not the first person to try drinking again after a period of sobriety. Yesterday's experiment doesn't negate the sober time you already have. Chalk it up as a valuable lesson, learn from it, remember it. Onward!
Acceptance and Honesty ( with yourself ) is going to be the key MasterS. You need to strip away all the BS and absolutely admit to yourself that drinking is not an option any more. And then do whatever it takes to apply that. It will mean going outside your comfort zone - talking to people, listening to what they have to say, and following their lead. There is a wealth of help here on SR of course, but you may want to consider seeing a counselor or attending meetings locally.
I've felt like this plenty of times. For some reason, I always thought this next time, things would be different. But things were never different. I wish there were a time machine, so future me could come back and show present me that drinking isn't going to make anything better, in fact it will make things worse.
Now I'm just trying to surround myself with as much support as possible, and going back to my journal and rereading entries how from horrible my last binge was, to keep it as fresh in my mind as possible.
62 days is awesome. If you did it once, you can do it again. What can you do differently the next time these urges kick in? It's only the PRE-season, after all. There's going to be NFL games on until February 1. You probably want to deal with this trigger sooner rather than later.
Now I'm just trying to surround myself with as much support as possible, and going back to my journal and rereading entries how from horrible my last binge was, to keep it as fresh in my mind as possible.
62 days is awesome. If you did it once, you can do it again. What can you do differently the next time these urges kick in? It's only the PRE-season, after all. There's going to be NFL games on until February 1. You probably want to deal with this trigger sooner rather than later.
I can relate to posts yesterday and the advice. I've been there where the AV is saying its different now, soccer worlds cup is on, beer with the TV would be good, you can handle it. It never was and it never will be. And it turned into utter carnage andy despair every time. Just getting sober again, and this one got me thinking of how I can protect myself. Yes, most of the time I had made the decision that I wanted to drink again and the AV was my excuse the enable it.
Start again MasterS - you can do it and learn from this!!
Start again MasterS - you can do it and learn from this!!
We all have to deal with those times when we want to drink. I want to drink always. I want to drink because I'm awake. I want to drink because it's summer, or it's afternoon, or it's the weekend or, you name it.
You're either strong enough to stop, or you aren't.
I think you are.
You're either strong enough to stop, or you aren't.
I think you are.
Please don't see it as 62 days down the toilet!!!
You fell, you quickly saw the error of your ways. I see that as a day of success! Please don't discredit the hard work you have done!
Good luck on your future sobriety, you can do it!
You fell, you quickly saw the error of your ways. I see that as a day of success! Please don't discredit the hard work you have done!
Good luck on your future sobriety, you can do it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 638
Recovery and early recovery especially is frightening and because it makes one feel in certain ways; depressed and "not-functioning". It is all frightening and sometimes depressing. This is the main reason why people, especially in early recovery decide to drink.
The thought "...and all will be great" propably comes from feeling "not-great" and uncertain. Especially when you don't know what's happening to you or you start doubting the value of recovery and that.
It can be quite a ride. I'd recommend reading this article that explains some things about recovery and what is happening:
PAWS | Digital Dharma
The thought "...and all will be great" propably comes from feeling "not-great" and uncertain. Especially when you don't know what's happening to you or you start doubting the value of recovery and that.
It can be quite a ride. I'd recommend reading this article that explains some things about recovery and what is happening:
PAWS | Digital Dharma
Because you wanted to drink and saw it as an inevitability yesterday in your other thread!!
Anyways, go at it again, recognise it doesn't add much to your life, and recommit to Sobriety!!
You can do this!!
Anyways, go at it again, recognise it doesn't add much to your life, and recommit to Sobriety!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Good for you to recognize the mistake and re-commit to sobriety. One slip-up doesn't doom you to an eternity of booze if you don't let it. Build another 62 days (and beyond), maybe change something in your plan that wasn't working, perhaps more interaction with others? It may not be true for everyone, but isolation can be dangerous depending on how you manage your thoughts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 47
I went to the hospital earlier because my drinking raised my blood pressure and heart rate... it scared me A LOT... a very eye opening experience and I don't want this poison in my body anymore... I gave away everything here that reminds me of drinking... I want to live and not die... I will keep trying and trying to make myself do the things needed to keep me sober...
I did the same thing after two months. I drank for weeks after. It was the rock bottom relapse that drove me to change. Sometimes a slip can reinstate how much you want sobriety. It's a terrible disease that tricks you and makes you forget how bad it can be when alcohol is in your system. Let this reminder make you stronger! You are back, and that is all that matters.
Time to leave the dark side. Now it's time to find a way to cope with your challenges, which may feel insurmountable, but they are not. It's just a matter of opening up your mind to some different ways to deal. You have gotten so much good advice on your threads, maybe take some time to review them.
Best to you.
Best to you.
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