Coping with my guilt
 

Hi everyone, i'm not sure why i'm here but I feel like i need to talk with people who have had similar experiences and who can relate to me. So here is a little about me and my drinking problem. I'm a 22 year old male construction worker, i started drinking at the age of 17. so far i have had a catastrophic failed relationship because of my problem, i have self mutilated while drinking, i have lost friends and honestly i wonder why i am not dead or in jail even though i have wanted both so badly. i drank for the first time in 2 months this weekend i dont know why i keep thinking that i can go back to it, i have decided to permanently quit drinking. no more of this taking breaks or "quitting for a while" if i dont stop now i will end up dead, i honestly believe that my addiction will kill me if i fail to do something about it. I need help from some people who have recovered and can tell me how to cope with my guilt or how to let it go. it consumes me. I'm crying out for help. Help me help myself.

Hey Imnotarock,

Thomas Edison was asked by a reporter how he felt about failing to make a viable light bulb hundreds of times. He replied that he didn't fail, but succeeded hundreds of times how not to make a light bulb. There's an old book probably only available at a library or maybe Amazon or Ebay named Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. It focuses on how people achieve skills. Much of the process is mental, some of it practice, including failure, until you learn what not to do, therefore isolating what to do by deduction.

Failure is good as long as you learn from it. Don't beat yourself up. Learn, move on, and don't quit trying. Good Luck!

Resolv

Hi and welcome imnotarock :)

you're among people who've been there and understand :)

the support and understanding helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you too :)

D

You are a rock. You just haven't knocked all the dirt off, yet.

You'll find your way. Don't drink. Don't even think you can drink. Think, "I don't drink".

Welcome to the Forum imnotarock!! :wave:

You'll finds loads of support here on SR!! It's great to have you onboard!! :)

Ok Rock. Let's not jump the fun here. Get sober is number one. We will deal with the guilt later. It's too much to take on right now. So get sober.....first.

This is just a guess, but I would imagine that your guilt is worse now as you come down from drinking. Right now you need to take care of yourself- physically and mentally. Let every hour that you stay sober, every day become a victory and a step away from the past that you feel so guilty about. Raider is right, at this point youjust need to think about staying sober. As time passes and you feel more secure you can start to deal with your guilt and any other issues that need addressing. Good luck to you and good for you for committing to not drinking.

Look at it this way. Everybody is different in their own unique way. My sister is allergic to peanuts. If she consumes anything with peanuts in them she can have a fatal allergic reaction. I can eat peanuts just fine.

When it comes to alcohol, I have a reaction to drinking that my sister and others don't. As soon as I have that first one, something happens and I drink until there is no alcohol around anymore or I blackout. I do stupid, reckless things when I'm drunk and turn into a mean obnoxious person. Then I spend a few days depressed and wallowing in self-loathing. It's like a bad reaction to something.

I have finally realized that I have a sort of "allergy" to alcohol in that it has negative side-effects for me. Like my sister can't eat peanuts, I can't drink alcohol.

I promise you that if you stop drinking a lot of your problems will disappear. You have a kind of "allergy" to booze like I do. I have been in hospitals and jails, lost jobs. Booze makes me physically and mentally sick so I have to stop if I want to live life.

Have you reached out to anyone yet about the drinking?

Man I wish I had come to the conclusion at 22 that I needed to stop. I'm 35 now and have lost so many years. My hat is off to you for seeing this so soon.