Hi all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by SonomaGal 
You can say:
I'm on a diet
I'm on a health kick
I'm too tired to go out
How about a movie
How about coffee
I want to go to this cool new place (that doesn't have alcohol)
I lost my phone twice drinking last month so I can't afford booze right now
I'm broke and on a diet
I'm tired of partying
The list goes on, and with time you will see that you really don't have to worry what others think about drinking. In fact, the ppl who care if you're not drinking, are almost always the ones with problems themselves. I've found that my sobriety is a total non issue, which is why I talk about here at SR where people understand how important it is.
I'm on a diet
I'm on a health kick
I'm too tired to go out
How about a movie
How about coffee
I want to go to this cool new place (that doesn't have alcohol)
I lost my phone twice drinking last month so I can't afford booze right now
I'm broke and on a diet
I'm tired of partying
The list goes on, and with time you will see that you really don't have to worry what others think about drinking. In fact, the ppl who care if you're not drinking, are almost always the ones with problems themselves. I've found that my sobriety is a total non issue, which is why I talk about here at SR where people understand how important it is.
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
I can relate Lostmyway. For a long time, my whole life outside of work revolved around drinking. I never did anything even remotely social unless alcohol was involved. After work during the week and all weekend I was either drinking at home or out at various pubs. Many times I have woken up in ditches or alleyways instead of making it back home on my 2am walk back from the bars.
It's no way to live and I just became more and more miserable and empty inside. I had to get sober to find out why I was so self-destructive. I am sober now and realize that alcohol had completely taken over every aspect of my life. Feel free to reach out. All it takes is one day at a time and you can pull yourself out of the hell you're in.
It's no way to live and I just became more and more miserable and empty inside. I had to get sober to find out why I was so self-destructive. I am sober now and realize that alcohol had completely taken over every aspect of my life. Feel free to reach out. All it takes is one day at a time and you can pull yourself out of the hell you're in.
Such shocking behaviour really
And I'm with you there for me it's always drink drink
Drink
Go
On holiday and oh of course I drink at the airport bar then on the plane etc
What can I do about my shame though? I'm embarrassed of
My behaviour but I guess I don't need to worry what others think?
If I said or did anything stupid when I was that drunk well yea that's why I was stupidly drunk - not excusing my behaviour or drinking but it was the drink and I guess I shouldn't worry?
And what about friends as I said above
My two "friends" one left me at the races saw him walking off and phoned and he said be back in a bit
Never text or called - I know now he must've run to get the last train
But he didn't bother to text me once or call or anything ?
And my other friend said he was thinking of going and he does with 3 people tr his department at work but doesn't contact me
I just don't get it surely friends wouldn't do either of these
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Great to meet you lostmyway. It will really help you to talk things over here.
I drank the same as you do at 29. Unlike you, I didn't reach out for help or even try to stop. I was still insisting I could use willpower to control what I drank. I didn't want to let go of the fun it once was. Fast forward a couple of decades and I was drinking all day, every day. My tolerance was huge - I never felt high or happy, just numb. This never has to happen to you. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what it's doing to your life - wish I had been as wise.
I drank the same as you do at 29. Unlike you, I didn't reach out for help or even try to stop. I was still insisting I could use willpower to control what I drank. I didn't want to let go of the fun it once was. Fast forward a couple of decades and I was drinking all day, every day. My tolerance was huge - I never felt high or happy, just numb. This never has to happen to you. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what it's doing to your life - wish I had been as wise.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome lostmywayuk 
I had to change my life - cos my old one was all about drinking.
If that sounds drastic it was - but I needed drastic action.
Don't let your fear tell you you'll never have fun again or never have any friends...that's nonsense
I have a great life, and I'm happier than I've ever been
There will be a transition period tho and it's not an easy one...but you don;t need to do it alone either....
find as much support as you can, and make the change lostmyway
D
I had to change my life - cos my old one was all about drinking.
If that sounds drastic it was - but I needed drastic action.
Don't let your fear tell you you'll never have fun again or never have any friends...that's nonsense
I have a great life, and I'm happier than I've ever been
There will be a transition period tho and it's not an easy one...but you don;t need to do it alone either....
find as much support as you can, and make the change lostmyway
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
Thanks for all the replies everyone
What should I do about worrying and feeling ashamed of my behaviour ?
Try to ignore it and not let it drag me down?
I mean I haven't done anything really bad all the
Damage is obviously to me the way it makes me feel days after but I'm sure il have talked nonsense and said utter garbage and probably been an annoying drunk?
I also don't know what to do about going on holiday I was going with a friend from work and someone else buy the Second guy is the one that left me at the horse racing 30 miles from home? I saw him walk off
So phoned him he said he'd be back but
Wasn't
Any advice about what to do with that "friend" and
Dealing with Self loathing and the feeling of shame at my behaviour
I'm sure I was a dribbling mess and talked rubbish loads
What should I do about worrying and feeling ashamed of my behaviour ?
Try to ignore it and not let it drag me down?
I mean I haven't done anything really bad all the
Damage is obviously to me the way it makes me feel days after but I'm sure il have talked nonsense and said utter garbage and probably been an annoying drunk?
I also don't know what to do about going on holiday I was going with a friend from work and someone else buy the Second guy is the one that left me at the horse racing 30 miles from home? I saw him walk off
So phoned him he said he'd be back but
Wasn't
Any advice about what to do with that "friend" and
Dealing with Self loathing and the feeling of shame at my behaviour
I'm sure I was a dribbling mess and talked rubbish loads
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 37
Try to forgive yourself for your behavior while drunk-we have all been there.
At the same time, it's a useful barometer to guide us to what and who we DON'T want to be...
You've GOT to stop, then you won't have these problems. There is NOTHING more liberating and calming than waking up in the morning KNOWING what you did/said/texted/called the night before. And if you DID do something foolish, well, you did it because you're human and humans make mistakes...just not the cringingly embarrassing drunken mistakes.
At the same time, it's a useful barometer to guide us to what and who we DON'T want to be...
You've GOT to stop, then you won't have these problems. There is NOTHING more liberating and calming than waking up in the morning KNOWING what you did/said/texted/called the night before. And if you DID do something foolish, well, you did it because you're human and humans make mistakes...just not the cringingly embarrassing drunken mistakes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
I guess probably don't go?
Unless I went and didn't go out at night
I guess life's full of challenges and curve balls - greatful that I'm ok ATM and still got a job
But always think how I wish things were so different
Sick of pointless negative emails at work and just the general anti social atmosphere
Work is a cycle of take take take and nit pick and blame - nothing to do with drink btw
Guess that's just how big companies are they don't give a damn
I think I let things get to me too much
Unless I went and didn't go out at night
I guess life's full of challenges and curve balls - greatful that I'm ok ATM and still got a job
But always think how I wish things were so different
Sick of pointless negative emails at work and just the general anti social atmosphere
Work is a cycle of take take take and nit pick and blame - nothing to do with drink btw
Guess that's just how big companies are they don't give a damn
I think I let things get to me too much
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
Think I need to keep myself busy?
Watch more films and tv - go to the gym for longer? Read? Etc
But being a self destructive idiot when I'm at home il watch tv go to the gym and get bored and have this idea in my mind that everyone else is having a great time and it's just me that's at home unhappy!!
Watch more films and tv - go to the gym for longer? Read? Etc
But being a self destructive idiot when I'm at home il watch tv go to the gym and get bored and have this idea in my mind that everyone else is having a great time and it's just me that's at home unhappy!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I merged both your threads - there were some parts of the story in one thread and not in the other.
The bottom line for me was I couldn't get sober until I changed my life.
If you want change and your life is like mine was - drinks at every opportunity, drinks at every turn, and boozy friends - then some things in your life need to change.
D
The bottom line for me was I couldn't get sober until I changed my life.
If you want change and your life is like mine was - drinks at every opportunity, drinks at every turn, and boozy friends - then some things in your life need to change.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
Thanks for merging both
So can someone suggest something to perhaps make me feel a bit better?
I know life can always be worse but feel so low ATM
Can someone suggest something for me to do to cheer me to
So can someone suggest something to perhaps make me feel a bit better?
I know life can always be worse but feel so low ATM
Can someone suggest something for me to do to cheer me to
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Welcome aboard. Blackouts are no fun at all man, I've had more embarrassing/horrible incidents due to blackouts than I can even count. It's an awful way to go through life. And has landed many in jail (or worse). The good news? Quit the drink, and you'll never black out again. Plenty of other great benefits to sobriety as well. The alternative? Well, you already know, seems like you've lived it for years and have grown sick of it. It won't simply get better over time or go away, especially once your drinking has reached a certain point.
SR is a good place to start your recovery, keep posting!
SR is a good place to start your recovery, keep posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by SoberHoopsFan
Welcome aboard. Blackouts are no fun at all man, I've had more embarrassing/horrible incidents due to blackouts than I can even count. It's an awful way to go through life. And has landed many in jail (or worse). The good news? Quit the drink, and you'll never black out again. Plenty of other great benefits to sobriety as well. The alternative? Well, you already know, seems like you've lived it for years and have grown sick of it. It won't simply get better over time or go away, especially once your drinking has reached a certain point.
SR is a good place to start your recovery, keep posting!
SR is a good place to start your recovery, keep posting!
Just at the gym doing some cardio to try and make myself feel a bit better
What did others do to fill their time when not at work? More tv? Films? Reading ?
Thanks all
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,681
Hi lostmywayuk, welcome to the forum.
I found I had to change all my habits, even moving my small tv out of the kitchen, as when I was home from work it was a trigger when doing evening meal to drink when certain programmes came on, sounds daft now.
But until you get a routine, and you're well in your way with your keeping fit, it can be frustrating to purposely find things to do when normally we'd be passed out, on the sofa or wherever we fell. You may have a few boring times until you adjust but it's so much better than the gutter.
As Dee says, the transition period is not an easy one, but the road is the worth the journey.
I found I had to change all my habits, even moving my small tv out of the kitchen, as when I was home from work it was a trigger when doing evening meal to drink when certain programmes came on, sounds daft now.
But until you get a routine, and you're well in your way with your keeping fit, it can be frustrating to purposely find things to do when normally we'd be passed out, on the sofa or wherever we fell. You may have a few boring times until you adjust but it's so much better than the gutter.
As Dee says, the transition period is not an easy one, but the road is the worth the journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by Mags1
Hi lostmywayuk, welcome to the forum.
I found I had to change all my habits, even moving my small tv out of the kitchen, as when I was home from work it was a trigger when doing evening meal to drink when certain programmes came on, sounds daft now.
But until you get a routine, and you're well in your way with your keeping fit, it can be frustrating to purposely find things to do when normally we'd be passed out, on the sofa or wherever we fell. You may have a few boring times until you adjust but it's so much better than the gutter.
As Dee says, the transition period is not an easy one, but the road is the worth the journey.
I found I had to change all my habits, even moving my small tv out of the kitchen, as when I was home from work it was a trigger when doing evening meal to drink when certain programmes came on, sounds daft now.
But until you get a routine, and you're well in your way with your keeping fit, it can be frustrating to purposely find things to do when normally we'd be passed out, on the sofa or wherever we fell. You may have a few boring times until you adjust but it's so much better than the gutter.
As Dee says, the transition period is not an easy one, but the road is the worth the journey.
I'm actually at the gym now
previously in the past I'd go to the gym then rush home and go to one of the casinos (serve till 7am!)But not anymore only ever meet losers at those places and they're hardly good fun places to be where the goal is to part everyone from their hard earned cash!!
Gonna go home in a bit have some food and watch some tv
Then sleep!
I just hope people I've talked nonsense too don't hold it against me
We all talk nonsense when drinking even people that aren't that drunk hey?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
