Damn, I almost had a glass of wine.
 

I have a big project that I have just not been able to get started on. I have an absolute deadline that I must meet but I have just been immobilized-totally stuck. As I am really running out of time I forced myself to get started today. Once I got going it started humming along and I got a lot accomplished, and most importantly I broke through being stuck. I felt so good, and excited, almost high.

I called a friend and asked her to join me for a quick dinner. We decided on my favorite Italian restaurant and all I could think about was to "reward" myself for such a good day with a glass of wine. A glass of their house Chardonnay that is quite tasty, affordable and a generous pour. Just one. I do think I would have been able to stop at one, but that's not the point. So, it turns out they couldn't seat us so we went to a Mexican restaurant. I don't feel the same way about a margarita or a beer as I did about that glass of wine, so the pressure was off. But jeez. That was close. I really had myself talked into it being ok to have a drink tonight.
:headbange

I'm glad you talked your self out of it :)

What support do you have besides SR MindfulLiving?

D

It's crazy how we just focus on that one drink and it'll be ok I'll stop after that. Yeah right..good think they didn't seat you. I know once I get something I'm my head I'm going to do it so I'm working on changing my routine. No restaurants or stores that sell alcohol for a while until I feel I'm ready.

Good thing**

Well Dee, you guys are all I've got! I live in a small town in a remote area. I am not comfortable going to AA meetings and run into someone I know. I have done a lot of counseling and am pretty much burnt out on them. I haven't found anyone that works for me and it seems like a waste of my time and money. And I have been to a lot of them and tried most of them in my area.

Divine intervention?

Definitely divine intervention. Good job on not drinking mindful.

That's what I thought Queen. "Rewarding" myself when I feel good about doing something that most people just do is one of my problems.

Glad you didn't end drinking Mindful. Well done. It sounds like you put too much thought into that glass of wine. It helped me to just cut the flirting off with a NO right away. My drink was JD and coke and I get that beer or a margarita just doesn't fulfill the fantasy. There was a time when somehow the No failed and then I posted on SR about my thoughts to go get a bottle. That prevented a relapse.

Silentrun, I have been doing very well just pushing those thoughts out of the way. It hasn't been hard except for today. I was taken over by spirits. (Pun intended.)

Mindful - I found when I was on a short vacation last week, that when I saw all the people drinking at the pool, I said to myself (in my brain) "why bother?". Because I know myself - I know one drink will not be enough. So what's the point? I won't be satisfied until I have an entire bottle of wine (at least). So there's no point...if I can't stop, I can't start. And I really can't stop once I start. All the little rationalization voices will come into my mind...just one more, what will one more hurt? go on, you deserve it because of x, y, z...