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Mandy01 07-29-2014 06:30 PM

Devestated
 
Hi
I have just been broken up with by my alcoholic boyfriend of 16 months. He broke up with me because he says I didnt trust him. I am six years older than him and he works, lives and drinks at a pub. My problem is he keeps telling me how he loves working with hot young chicks who he seems to think hit on him all day and loves being around gourgous women. Yes that does make me feel insecure but I also think it is wrong to say those things to me. It is my fiftieth birthday on Friday and we were meant to be going to Bali. This trip was fully paid for by my boss and I feel very embarrassed. I cant understand how he can be so cold and heartless to breakup with me on such an important week of my life. I will be flying to Bali on my own but feel so down and useless at the moment. The when I get back from my holiday all my friends hang out at the same pub so unless I alienate myself I will have to be around him. This is so hard

Tonymblue 07-29-2014 06:51 PM

You need to look out for yourself. He has treated you badly and disrespected you. Coming from an alcoholic - Alcoholics dont change unless they want to. This means it may be never. He has done you a favor. Be positive and have a good time on your vacation. God knows you deserve it.

soberjuly 07-29-2014 06:57 PM

Ok, sorry to say this but he sounds like a jerk. I'd say good riddance, don't you deserve more? He sounds emotionally abusive. He's missing a sensitivity chip for sure. As mean as I could be when drinking I never insulted my husband, I never talked about other men. I was more resentful of anything that took time away from drinking - like kids, picking up kids, driving kids places, shopping/cooking/cleaning up for kids/husband. I wasn't throwing insults, I was just very resentful all the time. How dare anything interrupt my drinking! :)(sorry to go off on a tangent like that!)...

He obviously does it to make you feel bad and it is working. I've always felt men who do that are women-haters. He probably has serious issues.

Why don't you utilize the vacation to the best purpose and exercise and eat healthy, get some sun and go home and find someone who respects women?

Remind him his high school days are over...

Tamerua 07-29-2014 07:13 PM

Can you take a girlfriend on the vacation instead? Go, enjoy the sun and the area. Rest and regroup. Sounds like he did you a favor, he shouldn't say that BS to you.

Ruby2 07-29-2014 09:00 PM

I think that the trip to Bali sounds fantastic! You must be very special to your employer that you are given the trip. The time away will give you time to relax, regroup and reflect. Reflect on why you would accept such shabby treatment that you in no way deserve. Reflect on the blessings you do have which is that you are valued so highly. You can think about what to do when you get back and how to deal with the people in the pub. If they are true friends you can meet them elsewhere.

If he thinks that all the "hot gorgeous chicks" are eying him then he is being silly unless he is a brad Pitt or Johnny depp clone. Those two are fifty so fifty can be hot. It sounds as if your ex might be trying to boost his own ego and cover his own insecurities by knocking you down and that isn't loving or fair. It's mean, cruel and insensitive. Go and enjoy your trip!

A long time ago when things were going dreadfully wrong in my first marriage I took off by myself for a week to the Florida keys and had a fantastic time, alone. I did some thinking, I proved to myself that I could have fun by myself and generally did the things I wanted to do, when I wanted to. You can too!

Lostinhk 07-29-2014 09:08 PM

Take that trip to Bali and find a young stud to entertain you! :P You don't need a man like that, it sounds like he is still a bit of a child. Good riddance I say, and be happy that you now have the opportunity to find someone special.


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