Lucie29

I am sober two weeks today, and I'm feeling low for some reason. I went to church this morning with my family, then the beach. I kept noticing every bar, liquor store, people drinking on the beach etc. I felt jealously. I can't drink, even if I wanted to. My family would disown me. It just got in my head that I will never be able to enjoy "Sunday funday" drinking with friends at a tiki bar or something. I love the way I feel sober, I'm not hungover, and I am grateful for all I have. I just have this nagging feeling of depression today, because I know I can never do those things again. Does this feeling pass with time? I went to aa yesterday and there were people there with 20 years sobriety. Do they still have cravings? The most I've ever had is 2 months in my adult life, so I have no idea what long term sobriety feels like. Thanks:/

PurpleKnight

Hey Lucie, i had those feelings for a longtime and now only occasionally, I had to think about that "Sunday funday" feeling though, because prior to the event it sounds like it would be wonderful, but when I would play the story till it's conclusion, it wouldn't end up much fun, it was important for me to separate the myth from the reality that my mind was telling me.

As time goes on though and you develop a Sober lifestyle, you'll find enjoyment in other things and the craving for the old lifestyle will fade, that's what happened me.

FreeOwl

I know that feeling... it does subside. My sponsor has over 25 years and he says that hardly ever comes around anymore and when it does it's not an emotion so much as just a fleeting, faded thought.

I'm 211 days sober and I've had a few experiences with that feeling even recently - but it's lasted only a very short while and I've been readily able to identify it, accept it, understand it for what it really is (my old addicted ways mourning and trying to pull me back) - but carry on in my life of sobriety happier for it.

Hang in there. I find these are good times to actively sit down and write about the good things you find in sobriety. Actively focus on gratitude for feeling free of alcohol. If we respond to those craving / grief / mourning / loss / melancholy thoughts with NEW thoughts that focus on our positive reasons for choosing this more rewarding path, we begin to consciously 're-wire' our thought patterns.

least

Congrats on two weeks sober. Those cravings will fade with more sober time. Give yourself more time. It will get better!

Hevyn

Lucie - I felt that way too early on. You're definitely not alone in feeling that you're missing out.

It's rough those first few months. We tend to remember all the great times, not the awful things that happened. I know the feeling of euphoria I had in my early drinking days can never be possible for me. I now drink alcoholically, never socially - and I can't go back. It made me sad in the beginning, but I definitely got over it as my new, sane, peaceful life began to unfold. You're going through a grieving process - it's normal. Glad you wanted to talk it over.

amp123

I'm on 17 days. I know exactly what you mean. I hadn't thought of it as greiving but it's a good way of putting it. Like it's ok to feel bad while letting this go but you know you have to and that it's for the best.

I've been on the road 7 hours today. Normally after a trip like that I'd crack open a few beers to unwind. Feels like there's a kind of void, not doing that. It's about changing the old patterns and associations, I guess... 1 day at a time, eh?

dwtbd

The prospect of a few drinks with friends over dinner or at a pub is something I would always associate with a positive or pleasant feeling. But when I really think about it , the pleasantness of the feeling was more about the anticipation of drinking(and then the drinking I would want/do after the 'few'), than it was about the social aspect. Friends are nice and I like them , but I really liked spending time with them at a pub the best.
It invaiably lead to me home drinking to my fill. Recognizing the 'pleasantness' of the feeling of anticipating an unhealthy amount of alcohol consumption has made it way easier to not regret missing it. And I have gained a heathier respect for the actual social pleasantries

SoberHoopsFan

These feelings will subside a bit. I'm on day 50 and it doesn't really bother me the way it did a few weeks ago.

But think it through. How good did you feel on Mondays after a "Sunday Funday"? How good does anyone feel? If you are like me, you had enough "Sunday Fundays" for 50 people. I've had those experiences already, I don't need them anymore.

aborkie

It's tough, but those people at the tiki bar are not having as much fun as you think. Many of them will regret it tomorrow.

pumpkinny

Congrats on 2 weeks Lucie! I'm 14 days too!

hayley86

Congratulations on two weeks! When i first stopped drinking i definitely felt like i was missing out and it was a huge adjustment for me. It didn't happen over night, but those feelings did pass and i no longer feel like i am missing out on anything. My life is much more peaceful these days. Whenever i see other people enjoying a couple of drinks i try to keep in mind that i was never able to do that. For me, drinking meant getting drunk, blacking out, guilt, shame, etc. I don't miss any of it. It will get easier, keep moving forward.

Lucie29

Thanks everyone for the advice! It helped me so much today. To pass time I went grocery shopping for healthy food, and got some new workout clothes for the gym. I also bought dark chocolate cookies and ate three of them, lol. Going to go for a nice bike ride, and be thankful I will wake up fresh tomorrow and not a lazy, hungover, embarrassed mess, that probably spent way too much money on nothing. I'm glad the urge has passed! Thanks to sr

Kevin78

Well done Lucie.

I try not to think too far ahead about drink. If I say to myself I will never drink again, The chances are I will. The thought of never drinking again seems to build my cravings up. I try to say to myself Just not for today. I was previously 2 years sober, I felt the cravings did subside with time. I did stop going to meetings and never did what i was told, So the obvious happened.

Hope you're feeling better.

Dee74

Hi Lucie

I've done all those things I never thought I could sober - weddings, funerals, meeting and mixing with people, alone time with a special someone...good times, boring times and horrifically bad times.

I never seem to notice people drinking anymore, not in the obsessive way I used to.

I love my sober life

I won't kid you it was an easy, or a quick process but I look back and I honestly feel it was a lot easier than my drinking life was....and considering I drank for 20 years I think my recovery was pretty darn speedy

you'll get there too - hang in there

queenofheartz09

Congrats on two weeks! I used to feel the same way but now instead of thinking it's going to be fun to drink I have came down to reality and realized it never ends up being fun since I never remember anything and wake up feeling like I'm going to die. There's so much more fun in life being sober.